Well Trashies, we made it back from Milan and are back in the Garden State. This was a relatively calm episode given the season and there are claims that a scene was deleted from the pizza extravaganza of the century that we were teased, “Danielle Does the Bathroom,” but let’s get into shall we.
At Envy Melissa arrives to open bills and see her packages that had arrived from Italy. Joe arrives and they pretend that didn’t drive there together and he counted too 100 before walking in. Melissa shows him her new cross-body bag and her can’t believe that she went all the way to Italy for that. Most of Melissa’s aesthetic is not my own but we do both have a penchant for cross-body bags. Apparently, they “fought” before she left for Italy because she hasn’t been putting enough into the restaurant she never wanted to own. He wants her to help him plan the party and asks for suggestions and she’s like you do you boo, you do you.
At Marge’s she s greeting her office ladies and talking shop. She tells them that she did go to the shoe factory but they are going to find a larger factory i.e. cheaper labor because their target market isn’t going to spend that kind of money purchase hand crafted shoes. Also, her and Siggy got into it… again.
Gurl, if we all are asking that question
Marge says she did apologize by the end of the trip but it felt forced. But Marge can’t think about that because they all are attending the Pizza Party at the Gorga’s and of course her own fabulous party that she will be having. They go to walk the property and plan, topless waiters over here, dance floor over there. Marge says she has been obsessed with disco since Marge Sr. took her to see Saturday Night Fever at age 7.
At a studio Tre is getting ready for her book cover photoshoot. You guys I watched this on HD I was HORRIFIED at this point because Teresa really needs to be exfoliating more, actually they all do. Siggy arrives sane and looks like she is firing on all cylinders today. Teresa asks her how she is feeling since Milan and going at it with Marge. She understands that life there are certain people who aren’t going to get along and that’s OK. Siggy admits that she doesn’t forgive very easily but she needs to move on, so let’s agree to disagree because we share friends and treat each other with kindness and respect. Who is this Siggy and can she stay?
But Lady Marge is so yesterday’s fake news and more importantly has Teresa talked to Joe. Siggy thinks that she should confront him about how she has been feeling and all that she has been going through. Tre is going to see him on Sunday but admits she can’t really tell him how she feels because why start now. She has been waiting for him to apologize and take full responsibility and so far, he hasn’t, because why start now.
I thought that real Italians don’t actually eat spaghetti and meatballs?
Tre emerges from the dressing room bedazzled and ready to go.
While the camera is snapping Tre continues to talk about Juicy and says that if he’s doesn’t say he’s sorry when she sees him she’s not sure where they go from there. Tre, Juicy is not a Real Housewife.
At Borlores’ house the gang is heading out to do a campus visit. Frank says that he feels just like at the Griswold’s heading out on the road like this together. They arrive at campus and well, this is a scene I know all too well because in college I gave campus tours for like 2.5 years chances are if you visited a small catholic liberal arts college in Eastern Iowa I was your guide.
Bore is wearing the boots that I want her to burn, but with black trench they are working. She is feeling very empty nester and lonely because her whole life has been her kids. Frankie likes the school more than he thought he would and with only three months before he starts I hope he’s decided because this is kind of late in the game to be making campus visit. Frank is kind of excited to be at home alone with Bore.
At Marge’s her ex-husband Jan arrives at her house with bagels for the coffee. They banter while Lady Marge explains that they work better as friends because when they were together they were like the Bickersons. She asks him who he’s bringing to her party and he isn’t bringing a date. But what she really wants to do is talk about the kids.
She tells him that she wants to have relationship with them and she wants them to forgive her and does he think there is a chance. … Now a lot of people are going to say that Jan was rather indifferent but I thought his response was perfect. He tells her that there is always a chance. For a long time she was a great mother to his kids but she made her choices. He says he would be lying if he said he didn’t give a shit and he is resentful her but you know he doesn’t hold it against her. She cries and says she is never going to give up and he tells her to do what she thinks it right. She tells him to remind the kids that she thinks of them and loves them, he will and says he hope this conversation made her feel better.
Next Borlores and Frank take one of the dogs for a walk. Frank asks if her imaginary boyfriend is treating her right? Well, you know he delivers babies to women who are dealing with high risk pregnancies many times after 9 PM he has to run out for emergencies. Frank just want to make sure he is treating her right and not taking her for granted like he did. She says that she needs more from him but not sure he can give more than he already is and no he probably can’t. Frank says she will never be alone because he will always have him. Season 9, Frank and Bore round 2, calling it now.
Teresa is terrifying me while she drives down the expressway answering calls from her daughters and Melissa while occasionally glancing at the road. She is on her way to Danielle’s for THE APOLOGY. Danielle greets her at the door with her dog “Fendi” and explains that Christine did not want to come but Jillian is here.
Can I be shallow for a moment? For as average as Danielle is her daughters are beautiful and so normal. I know that not unusual but as far as Real Housewives kid’s go they are way above average.
However, Danielle is going to need to have several seats because she is acting like this some great big step for humanity that she is getting an apology for “Prostitution Whore.” She danced at Scores as a major headliner amongst many things that did not necessarily make that situation any better AND just demonstrated a rainbow blow job a few episodes back. BESIDES, Tiny Manzo (Love that name Notwithoutmytv) told her the kids should leave the room BEFORE that happened and Danielle insisted they stay. FURTHER, I will not accept apologies for reality television GOLD. That one moment put RHONJ on the map and made it the franchise it is today. Without that Jersey would have been a DC or a Married to Medicine Houston, one and done because them bitches was BASIC.
Teresa says she has had a lot of time to think because she has had a lot of things happen in her life. When she was in, jail she reached out to Danielle to tell her that she was sorry for what had happened because she knows it must have been hard for them. Then she tells her that she can ask her anything, like they are in Q&A at one of her book signings. Jillian admits that when her mom told her they were yogaing together she flipped out on her but Danielle assured her that Tre had changed. Jillian admits that this has affected her since elementary school people calling her name she won’t repeat but hurt.
Tre is SCHOCKED that this had such an impact but you know I don’t think Tre is the only one at fault for all that happened to Beverly, Tiny Manzo and Jac Attack had a lot more to apologize for those years from where I am standing if she was truly looking to settle all scores. Jillian accepts her apology and says she hopes Christine can get on board too.
At Marge’s her and Marge Senior are getting dressed. Lady Marge tells her Ma no sparkles, you aren’t an aging stripper and says her mom is failing to understand that this an opening of a casual restaurant. Marge Sr. says she is going to wear her black Jimmy Choos in case she has to go off on Siggy she wants to look hot. Lady Marge tells her that there will be no going off on Siggy or busting caps in her ass because they are in a good spot and in fact she just sent her a really nice text this morning. She is the one that needs to get over shit and she just wants to go and pretend it never happened besides tonight is not about them it’s about the Gorgas and their subpar restaurant. She tells Marge Sr. no drinking tonight because she gets diarrhea of the mouth and if she does say anything she is going to kick her in the cankles.
At Siggy’s house she is busying herself in the kitchen and feeding her dog table scraps before showing her dad her old server skills of carrying more than one plate at a time.
They banter about her mom and how his classes are going. I always assumed he was a medical doctor but he in fact a PhD and is currently teaching a class called the Holocaust and History of the State of Israel. ORLY, how timely.
Siggy wants to run something past her dad, oh good. To make this fun, let’s count how many not entirely accurate statements she makes in this conversation She says that she introduced a girl, pretty sure Marge is above the age to be called a girl but go on, to her friends (1. you didn’t she was cast) she rubs Siggy the wrong way and hasn’t been kind to her (2. not entirely true). She tells him that she called her Soggy when she cried (3. you made t-shirts and are profiting from that so you know cry me a river) and when she wanted to walk in a charity fashion show she should have minded her own business but she said to me right to my face, “Hitler would have not killed me but that does that make him a good person.” Mortdecai is confused and so Siggy explains that just (4) because Teresa and Melissa do not like Kim D she shouldn’t walk in the charity fashion show. Siggy if that is what you think she was saying you are not as bright as you think you are. You were defending Kim D as a good person because she is good to you and Marge was saying that just because she is good to you doesn’t mean she is good to other people. She probably should have just said that and not used a complicated analogy that was sure to ruffle feathers.
Even her dad is confused. Siggy says that not only is she the daughter of a Holocaust scholar and survivor. She does not is never appropriate to bring up Hitler unless explicitly discussing the atrocities of the Holocaust. Her dad says that strange and she should stay away from her.
But Daddy I don’t understand her
He says that it’s not appropriate but you can’t avoid it so you know you move on. However, she should apologize for what she said and Siggy mentions that she did, but Siggy says at that point she was so angry so she said maybe you’re an anti-Semite, you know no big deal.
She tries to interrupt and further explain her feelings because she doesn’t want her dad to be upset but he very softly tells her no, she is going to let him finish. He says that he doesn’t know her personal feelings and he can’t accuse her of that and he’s right because at no point in this does Siggy ever mention the Marge’s children, not just her step but her son was raised in the Jewish faith.
Siggy’s dad tells her not to get in any conversation with her because she is going to drive herself crazy and say things she is going to regret later on because she has succeeded in turning her inside out. Jeez he really knows his daughter.
Yes, it has
At the Pizza & Pasta Emporium, Joe is sweating his painted hair off waiting for Melissa and Teresa to arrive. He has Tre cut the pizza and shows off his super nasty looking cheeseburger pizza. He tells her all about Melissa abandoning him in his time of need. When Melissa arrives, Teresa confronts her and Melissa immediately turns into a bratty little kid when she is told she needs to take this seriously.
You take it seriously, gawd…
Guests start to arrive…
Teresa feels Frank up
Then Grandpa Eyebrows want everyone to feel his keg. Melissa comments that it’s a little warm and I can only imagine because everyone looks like they are melting in there.
Borlores greets Marge Sr. with a hug and this thing where she is bearing her teeth and the edges of her mouth are pulled up.
Tre and Marge have a side conversation wether Lady Marge is confident that they made up and should be totally cool. Just then Siggy walks in with her best friend Jennifer. Melissa jokes that everyone is Siggy’s bestie. As Siggy is making her rounds and cheek kisses it becomes evident that Siggy is avoiding Marge. But Marge divulges that she will take her ignoring her any day over her ambushing her.
Bore mentions to Siggy that she met Marge’s mom and she’s cute, Siggy replies that’s nice I am hungry let’s eat. Borlores says it’s a little rude, she always respects her elders but its Siggy’s choice.
It’s time for the toast and OMG….
Is that Robyn the Housewife that never was?
Marge gets the hint that Siggy is ignoring her when she even reaches over for cheek kisses from Marty, Danielle’s boyfriend. Joe gives a toast this was all about his Ma blah, blah, blah celebrating family. Too bad the restaurant is already closing because they are “looking for a larger place” and “looking into new management.”
Teresa and Melissa discuss the error in Joe’s ways for not sharing with his wife and expecting everyone to do as he says with this restaurant. Whatever this is a dumb storyline because its fake because allegedly her involvement was purely for the cameras. I am shocked!
This guy in glasses who kept trying to stay in view of the cameras and dancing to music that wasn’t there, was everything
The episode ends with Marge Sr. asking Lady Marge is everything is OK because she saw that Siggy person but she hasn’t met her yet. Danielle volunteers to go get Siggy and Siggy says no, she doesn’t want to and doesn’t understand why she should have to and more to the point KNOWS that she would be walking into an ambush.
Danielle tells her she will let them know and oh hey…
There he is again
Marge can’t believe it just this morning Siggy was all light and love in her text message and now this.
I have never kicked a person out of a party but the guy behind me might be the first
Next week Siggy wants to go to prom with JoshUA. Tre gets a surprise birthday from her daughters. Marge prepares for her party and Siggy isn’t sure she wants to go. Tre goes to visit Joe in prison for the APOLOGY. AND it is the last regular episode!
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