Howdy, Trashmii! Here we are again, at another season of the never-ending saga that is Sister Wives. You may have read in the news that the Browns won their court case in Utah, which now frees them to move back and sink into obscurity. Of course now that they’re fame whores, I doubt they will move back, but a gal can dream, can’t she?
Our ep opens with flashbacks from last season. Kody tells us that running from home to home in the compound is developing his gluteus maximus. You know what, Kody? You affect my gluteus maximus. Can you guess how?
Meri comments on the “turn” their relationships made when the gals were all separated, Kody says the kids have adjusted well to the compound life but the wives, not so much, amd Christine says she thought they would “instantly be best friends” once they moved into the compound. Watching too many Disney movies, dear?
We’re then told that the adults haven’t really discussed paying for college educations, and it’s time for them to do that.
Meri says Westminster (where Mariah wants to go, in Utah) is $28K a year. UNLV is $7400. Kody strongly states he “won’t advocate” the kids getting loans, they’ll have to work through college if they want the parents to contribute to their education. He also points out that “statistically, people don’t find a career choice in the field they studied”. Well, they likely do if they study something practical, like say chemistry. Knowing the Browns, they’ll likely major in the History of Gum or something like that.
Janelle points out that Logan’s expenses for this year at UNLV are $6500. If you’re doing the math, that’s about 1/4 of the cost of Westminster.
Robyn says Mariah needs a car. I thought she had a car, Robyn’s old car, cause she was driving it last season? Janelle asks if Mariah is going to be on campus, why does she need a car, and Meri waspishly tells her she’s not sending Mariah to Utah without a car. Which begs the question, why is the princess going to Utah as an out-of-state student? How about she moves there, works for a year while establishing residency and then enrolls as an in-state student? Just some practical questions . . . which are never answered. Cause these are the Browns.
Kody interjects that they’re not sacrificing Aspyn’s education to “overindulge Mariah” (OH SNAP!), and asks Meri to take money out of her budget since the other wives have multiple children to send to college. Wait a minute. The wives each have X amount of college money, the same X amount, even though Meri has only one kid? So Meri’s using a budget meant to stretch for 6 kids, for just one? Kody repeats his request, and Meri doesn’t answer. Selfish witch.
Robyn, who’s apparently never met a promissory note she didn’t like, whines to Kody that she doesn’t see there is an option to debt for college. Kody snaps back “a job that pays well”.
They decide to bring in the Little Princess. Robyn asks her is she’s willing to go to a Nevada college, and Mariah refuses.
Meri asks Mariah to explain, and Mariah, crying, rambles on about missing their church in Utah, when it’s time to be married, she wants to be in a polygamy-friendly area, and get a polygamist husband. She says it’s time for her to “move forward”. How’s about moving forward into a job then, honey? If all you want is a plyg husband, just move to Provo or someplace – or move in with any of your relatives – and look for a husband. You don’t need an expensive college education for that.
Somehow this little speech has changed everyone’s minds. The wives all commit to making Westminster possible for Mariah. I’m convinced Mariah slipped something into their sodas.
We return to the invasion of the MILs. Or rather, some of them, since the wives’ fathers are all married to multiple women. We meet (or re-meet, since we’ve seen some of them before) the MILs:
Bonnie. Meri’s mother. Meri clearly didn’t get her nasty personality from mom, who seems to be a nice, tolerant person.
Sheryl. Janelle’s mother. Very similar in personality. Remember Sheryl is married to Kody’s dad, so she’s sister wife to Kody’s mom Genielle.
Genielle. Kody’s mom. Clearly very sharp, she totally has Kody’s number.
Annie. Christine’s mom. Doesn’t look a thing like Christine, but the crying and drama – identical.
Alice. Robyn’s mom. Robyn says Alice divorced Robyn’s father and married another man, whom Robyn calls her “dad”, making Alice a second wife. Alice seems nicer than Robyn, and luckily doesn’t have that lantern jaw her daughter has.
Kody says tomorrow, he’s going gift-shopping with the MILs, and then Sunday morning he and the kids will make brunch for all the moms and MILs.