Hello my fabulous Trashmongers! Could we finally be at the Midseason finale of season 4? Why it seems like only yesterday we were listening to Mackenzie tell us she would rather hang out by the pool then dance. Sadly, they are now facing the biggest challenge of their lives now: going through puberty on NATIONAL TELEVISION (except for Mackenzie) and braces. How I feel their pain. Although I have seen much worse. Somehow I have spotted nary a zit on their faces. So no longer have the original group, minus Paige and Brooke, plus Kalani and Kendall. It’s a shame to see all of them go from being close as sisters to where they are at now. Those preteen years SUCK.
Last week Abby shot Mack Z’s video. You will have to see that one for yourself, but I will say she is adorable. Maddie was not so adorable in the video and the pajamas were a little unmatched. Who chose their outfits? Someone with a visual impairment obviously. Ever the classy Abby had it filmed at MELISSA’S HOUSE cackle cackle. Overall Mack did her best and was her little energetic self. Abby was Abby. They got to meet some of the other dance moms from another group at ALDC and one, whose daughter beat Mackenzie at the junior level and threw it in Melissa’s face, was thrown out by Melissa who moronically and selfishly started calling 911. Now that pisses me off because that is for emergencies, you stupid witch. Somewhere in Pittsburgh an ambulance may have arrived late because of your selfish, crazy ways if you had completed your dumb ass freaking call. The scores were not so wonderful at the competition either. The newly fabulous Larkin Studio who seemed to arrive from outer space, beat them and broke their winning streak. Oh and their dancers looked very close to the legal drinking age. That was also odd, because they were supposed to be 15. Maddie won overall solo and Chloe got fifth. Both solos were a tribute to Abby’s Mom as well as the group dance, which placed second. The mothers would not SHUT UP about the new team, the Larkin Studio team and I was seeing of Abby vibes stressing them out everywhere. The mothers were psyching the kids out too. I mean shuddup already. Somewhere along the way in the Mom’s room at the competition, Christi starts ranting about how the team is leaving Chloe out and they are not treating her like a friend anymore. The mothers argue, saying it is not true (Melissa sits looking smug and silent) and I am just happy they shut up about the NEW TEAM. Maddie told her she was not very good at her solo the day before when she was talking about the duet. Nice one Maddie. Great training from your Mom. Bravo, Melissa! Don’t worry, nothing can top your slutty ways. They call Abby and she is calm and says it was about her mother, not winning. I want her to stay on this medication. So let’s give a round of applause for whoever prescribed it, and please refill her prescriptions on a regular basis.
AND HERE WE ARE FOR THE MIDSEASON FINALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The original team is called into the studio and they are all decked out in these Abby Lee Miller jackets that look like very cheap Olympic team wannabe jackets and black booty short bottoms. Abby tries to milk out one last morsel of pity by announcing that her mother……. has died.
Okay so I gave her airtime. Next up. The pyramid. It went like this:
Bottom row: Chloe, Nia and Kalani
Chloe for getting fifth on her solo although Abby added she heard she should have gotten second or third, Nia because she still has a long way to go and Kalani because she looks beautiful in the group dance but that is about it.
Middle row: Kendall and Maddie
Kendall because she holds her own in the group and Maddie because Abby thinks she is a rock star. Which means MACK Z is at the top of the pyramid this week for shooting her video! Mack Z, in Abby’s mind, is going to be a REAL rock star and she will bank on it. Which means she gets to be at the top!!!!
Next up we have the new team! YAYYYYYY. We are now speaking in code. The original team is going to be called OT. The new team is going to be known as NT. Got it? Okay good.
Abby tells them dramatically their lives are about to change. We then get 25 beautiful seconds of this show without Abby’s voice. Then they walk out! THE NEW TEAM!!!!!!!!!! NT comes out in the same lame ass matching jackets, with leggings, crop tops and massive attitude. They are also wearing ten pounds of make-up each. Somewhere out there a Glamour Shots is still open and they found their make-up artist. The NT also includes new moms, some of which we have seen before. Each OT member is matched with a NT member who is going to be their direct competition. They are supposed to challenge them. This is where it gets nasty. First off, this blonde woman is there that Kira knows because they are both from the same Arizona studio. Her daughter is Sarah R. Kira starts getting totally suburban ghetto and ripping into this woman about her daughter out of the blue. Kira has proven herself to be a crazy skank after this episode, by the way. Nia is matched up with Sarah R and WOW Nia is in love with herself. She tells us with her mother’s sour lemon lips she can do all of these other dances and Sarah R can only do acro. Careful, Nia, you mentioned ballet and you sure as hell aren’t a ballerina in any shape or form. Knowing how to spell the word does not count. Kalani is matched with Jade, a very tall competition kid who has a mom that appears sane. Kendall is matched with Ava. Not sure if anyone remembers but Ava’s mom is Jeanette, and she is the one who visited the OT backstage a while back and I believe she told JILL her daughter was better than hers. Mackenzie is matched with Tea’, a very creepy looking little redhead who looks like the kid in The Orphan. It’s the ponytails and pancake make-up. Sarah H, who we saw in the video last week with her mom, Lumpy Dumpy Christy, is also matched with Mackenzie. Chloe is matched with Kamryn, a little brunette with long wavy hair and too many regional and overall titles to name. Her words. Maddie? Saved the best for last. Abby tells her to look at her team and say goodbye, then tells her to look at the new team and say hello to HER new team. She is just too good to be challenged so she is going to be on the NT to challenge THEM. Maddie tells us she is sad to leave her friends and Melissa looks all sorts of sad. They are headed to Energy Dance Competition in Youngstown, Ohio and the OT and NT will be competing against each other. OT is doing “The Royals” and NT is doing “The Good Life” a contemporary routine. Kalani and Kendall will be doing a duet, as will Sarah R and Ava. Chloe and Kamryn will be doing solos. All of the moms get called down separately from the kids shortly after the two teams and Moms meet each other and Abby gives the new moms the rundown on what their kids need to work on. They are pretty mean, but typical Abby, comments. That’s when Christy with the Y loses it and starts yelling at Abby like a madwoman and then fights with someone and then more fights come from that among the NT moms. Abby is laughing and sticking her tongue out of the side of her mouth like an evil cartoon character. She is luvvin life. Kira starts in on Sarah R’s mother outside after the Mom meeting with Abby. The fighting just keeps getting worse and worse throughout the show and I recommend earplugs. This Christy with a Y woman is LOUD and I do mean LOUD. My ears are still ringing after last night’s show. The funny thing is now that Maddie is on the NT, the OT moms won’t stop bitching about her being gone. Um I’m sorry but for HOW long have you bitched about her BEING on your team? All of this madness and chaos makes for a very interesting long show, which I will fully recap in a couple of days. I really appreciate all of your comments on the show. You guys are the IT in the SH—! See you soon my pretties…
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