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Tag: McManda

Big Brother Recap: Wait For It

Shut! Up! Trashmeeeee! Previously on Big Brother, Elissa won HOH and had an epiphany, which is also the name of one of her children. Not sure on the spelling of said meat sack. The other epiphany, however was to move against Amanda and finally eliminate her terrible existence from the game before she is rewarded and validated for her actions. Too bad she read “The Tortoise and the Hare” and won her first ever competition to save herself. Therefore Aaryn was the casualty of the week and was evicted to meet Julie Chen. After the Chenbot burned her, she understood what it was like for all the black people in her community on those crosses and took a vow to change Texas because that’s what they do on Wednesdays? Right? I have no idea I just drove through it once and only stopped at Cowboys Stadium and Southfork Ranch from Dallas because my dad is a Giants fan nicknamed J.R. The problem with Julie’s interview is I stopped caring about Aaryn being a racist weeks ago. Crucifying Aaryn won’t change anything. You’re more likely to rally supporters for her. Just shun her as best you can as a society and let it be her problem now.

That was a longer previously than I wanted it to be. So let’s move on to the HOH competition. We have a riveting competition where the contestants move eggs along a chicken wire fence. Once someone gets 12 eggs through the fence, they win and the two people in last place have to wear chicken costumes. Because Chicken George has multiple Twitter accounts now I guess. Oh, and they all have to hop throughout the competition.

Basically, this competition is to see who best works the balls. Surprise, it’s VM and Andy. The problem for Amanda is she has man hands. She’s part woman, part horrible beast.

Andy says this competition is tailor made for him because he worked with chickens on a farm. He goes on to tell a terrible joke that for the sake of the advancement of comedy as a respected medium I will not repeat. Andy has been blacklisted and will no longer be appearing in my recaps. It will be like the Zero Dark Thirty briefs.

VM and Andy are close until the end but VM pulls it out and wins HOH. Judd and Spencer come in last and have to wear the chicken suits. Elissa is excited and bouncing with VM and Amanda takes this opportunity to squawk at Elissa telling her she shouldn’t be so happy since she just sent VM’s best friend home. Technically, you had a hand in that as well Amanda. Just saying.

Amanda then goes in for a hug with VM to drive her point home. And she plans on doing it all week.

Amanda post HOHCan I get this picture framed and delivered to the HOH room?

After the competition, Amanda and VM talk in the bathroom. I’m starting to sense that VM has a weird thing about bunnies because of her excitement for the competition and that she calls Aaryn a bunny as well. For her own good, she better stay away from the real life Lennie Small.

Amanda Lennie SmallHis name is Nick? Well, I’m going to hug him and squeeze him and call him George.

Amanda keeps telling VM that she needs to nominate Elissa and if she does, she won’t have any targets on her and will be able to escape the week. VM at least is showing some backbone internally because she knows she can’t trust McManda and needs to take them out.

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Big Brother Recap: It’s Sticky…Spencer Just C***

Hey Trashilingi. Previously on Big Brother, there were many claimants to the Fur Throne, but only one could prevail.

Coco 4If you want to be queen, you best wear a pair of floppy ears…and at least be pictured :P.

Also, Jessie was voted out, but it doesn’t matter yet because a jury member is coming back on Thursday, meaning this week could also be a waste of time. The only thing I hate more than players getting a second chance to return to the game is non-elimination legs/episodes. You’re telling me I’m not getting that time back. Then Aaryn won HOH for a fourth time because unless they are having a one piece competition Amanda can get fucked (and has).

So we jump in at Jessie’s eviction. Three seconds into the show and Amanda is already being her arrogant self, smirk not sold separately. Helen hopes people will take her word over Jessie’s despite the fact that Jessie was telling the truth and Helen is lying. I guess she is in politics. Spencer thinks he may have survived the floater burnoff and that everyone will go after big threats now.

As Jessie walks out, Aaryn and VM comment that the crowd’s cheers “were super loud”. It’s called being a decent human being. It’s often accompanied with praise. Also, Jessie probably shares some characteristics that are required for Bachelorette contestants, mainly that she’s attractive enough for television, but not too attractive that the female audience is threatened by her and won’t want to root for her. That may sound sexist, but you can’t deny it.

So after Aaryn wins HOH, of course, it’s time for Amanda to make it about her. She cries to McCrae again about not being able to win anything. Ugh, done.

Well, not quite. Because Amanda decides that she needs some alone time and so she hides behind a garbage can. You’d think if anyone was going to hide in cover of an inanimate object this season it would’ve been Elissa.  I just hope it’s trash day because this may be the best chance to eliminate Amanda.

Amanda TrashWhy is Amanda sitting in front of, I mean, behind that trash can?

Spencer and VM talk about how selfish Amanda is in the kitchen. They both agree that she will ruin McCrae’s life and if he were to win, she would spend all his money in a second. When these two start making sense, you know something needs to change.

More complaining, yay! Elissa thinks she’s leaving because Aaryn is HOH. Helen tries to comfort her, which is hilarious because Helen is probably screwed this week.

Helen decides to work Aaryn at the moment. Quick, let’s check in on Amanda.

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Big Brother Recap: A Passive-Aggressive Chenbot is the Best Chenbot

Hey Trashmies! I’m Dashley, and I’ve joined the team recapping Big Brother for you all. A quick plug for those that don’t mind spoilers: the TrashTalkTV live feed forum is up and running faster than GinaMarie and Aryan to the unemployment office. Come join the dark side if you haven’t already, because we’re having as much fun over there as Jeremy and Spencer every time they get together for another edition of the He-man Woman Haters’ Club.

Previously, Elissa nominated Jeremy for the chopping block with her not-as-secret-as-she-would-like MVP power, and he saved himself in the Veto competition. Candice sniffed out a super-alliance of guys in the house, and convinced Elissa that if she nominated Nick in Jeremy’s place, she would be cutting off the head of the snake. So that’s just what Elissa did, earning Nick a place alongside her and Helen on the Nominee Loveseat. (Except maybe it’s actually a Nominee Hateseat?)

Julie Chen greets us, dressed and ready for a disco-era key party, which makes me wonder what she and her 20-years-older husband do in their free time. She tells us that the house is divided, and we cut to the aftermath of the Veto ceremony: Jeremy says it doesn’t matter if he’s on the block or if it’s Nick, because Elissa is going home. Elissa thinks her nomination took the target off of her. Nick feels safe because of the Moving Company association. Helen is determined to campaign to send Nick home.

Amanda and Candice gather for a bathroom confab to reassert loyalty to the laydeez in the house. Candice goes to Elissa and Helen to explain her plan. It will be an uphill battle, but she thinks they can get the votes. Jessie’s vote is questionable, because she just wants to hang with the popular crowd. And then there’s Spencer, whose loyalty is in question, because he seems to be playing all sides of the house.

stop trying to make fetch happen jessie bb15Stop trying to make “fetch” happen, Jessie. It’s never going to happen.

Andy and Helen are bouncing ideas off of each other, and she attempts to convince him that they’ve lost all hope if they send Elissa home over Nick. The selling point is that even though it’s a little early to go after Nick, Elissa will still be a bigger target than either of them if Jeremy or Aryan is in power. Meanwhile, Elissa cozies up to Jessie, and Jessie is so thrilled that anyone is bothering to worry about her opinion, she starts to consider actually flipping her vote. Jessie talks to Helen, the Godmother, who promises her safety.

The He-Man Woman Haters’ Club meets, with Nick telling Howard and then Spencer about how Amanda is “infecting” the other side. They’re all afraid McCrae is getting too influenced by her and won’t vote the way they want him to vote. Spencer goes to Pizza Boy to try to convince him that Amanda is going to figure out the alliance, and he needs to cut her loose. Here’s the thing: nominations are set. What dumb jerk needs to tell a guy to “cut loose” a woman that is making him happy when it’s not even currently a possibility to do so? McCrae tells us in the Diary Room that he considers Amanda his closest ally, and he’s trying to deflect any Moving Company doubt. Meanwhile, poor McCrae is torn because Amanda wants to keep Elissa, and she’s starting to think there’s something he’s not telling her. McCrae realizes that he’ll either lose his alliance of double-talking misogynist jerks, or he’ll lose Amanda.

amanda vs spencer which will mccrae choose bb15Ummm… wonder which is the better option here?

Oh, good. It’s Totally Awkward Live Interview time. Julie Chen asks Jeremy why he wasn’t worried about getting nominated. He says he came to play, and he was ready. You came to play the game, so you were ready to be put in a position where you wouldn’t be able to play the game anymore? Okay then. Julie asks Jessie why love is running rampant in the BB house. Jessie thinks it’s easier to have a companion in the house. At least she’s being honest: she has tried (and failed) to make a “companion” out of Jeremy, Nick, and Judd, in that order. Julie wanted to know from the group if they ever forget that they’re always on camera, being broadcast to the internet [EVEN WHEN YOU’RE BEING RACIST AND STUPID AND HAVING SEX HINT HINT JEREMY KAITLIN AARYN SPENCER GINAMARIE AHEM] and Amanda answers for the group that she forgets about the cameras a lot, because there’s a certain level of comfort. Aryan answers that she doesn’t forget, she’s just an open person, so she doesn’t mind, and now America knows her. Julie gives a slightly passive-aggressive “yes, we do,” and moves on.

julie chen looking hot and stern bb15How awesome would it be if Julie flipped the script and said “Ah, Aryan, we hate you long time!” But she’s a lot classier than I am.

Julie tells us that Aryan’s racism is starting to get noticed inside the house. We open with a group of houseguests (Pizza Boy, Candice, Andy, Helen, Howard, Judd, and Amanda) having an open discussion in the backyard about racist things they’ve heard Aryan say, including the incident that was the proverbial straw on the camel’s dumbbell-carrying back: Blackfishgate. Howard feels that there’s a personal vendetta that could be informing gameplay. Amanda thinks that Aryan should know what’s happening, and goes to the HoH room to tell her about it. Amanda gives Aryan the benefit of the doubt that she’s joking, but advises her to be mindful. Aryan rolls her eyes and calls the accusations stupid and immature, and equates the racism spewing out of her mouth with the other houseguests calling her “Barbie.”

aryan has a dream bb15“I have a dream… that someday… my children will not be judged by the blondness of their hair, but by the blueness of their eyes.”

Time for the vote! Happily for all of us, while giving her speech, Elissa avoids the derpy Rachel imitation that she did last week, and points to Nick as a bigger threat. For Nick’s speech, he alludes to a lot of inside jokes that I laughed at as a live feed viewer, but probably didn’t do much for people that watch just the broadcast episodes. Helen pays homage to her co-nominees, knowing that there’s no threat of her going home.

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