Shut! Up! Trashmeeeee! Previously on Big Brother, Elissa won HOH and had an epiphany, which is also the name of one of her children. Not sure on the spelling of said meat sack. The other epiphany, however was to move against Amanda and finally eliminate her terrible existence from the game before she is rewarded and validated for her actions. Too bad she read “The Tortoise and the Hare” and won her first ever competition to save herself. Therefore Aaryn was the casualty of the week and was evicted to meet Julie Chen. After the Chenbot burned her, she understood what it was like for all the black people in her community on those crosses and took a vow to change Texas because that’s what they do on Wednesdays? Right? I have no idea I just drove through it once and only stopped at Cowboys Stadium and Southfork Ranch from Dallas because my dad is a Giants fan nicknamed J.R. The problem with Julie’s interview is I stopped caring about Aaryn being a racist weeks ago. Crucifying Aaryn won’t change anything. You’re more likely to rally supporters for her. Just shun her as best you can as a society and let it be her problem now.
That was a longer previously than I wanted it to be. So let’s move on to the HOH competition. We have a riveting competition where the contestants move eggs along a chicken wire fence. Once someone gets 12 eggs through the fence, they win and the two people in last place have to wear chicken costumes. Because Chicken George has multiple Twitter accounts now I guess. Oh, and they all have to hop throughout the competition.
Basically, this competition is to see who best works the balls. Surprise, it’s VM and Andy. The problem for Amanda is she has man hands. She’s part woman, part horrible beast.
Andy says this competition is tailor made for him because he worked with chickens on a farm. He goes on to tell a terrible joke that for the sake of the advancement of comedy as a respected medium I will not repeat. Andy has been blacklisted and will no longer be appearing in my recaps. It will be like the Zero Dark Thirty briefs.
Andy are close until the end but VM pulls it out and wins HOH. Judd and Spencer come in last and have to wear the chicken suits. Elissa is excited and bouncing with VM and Amanda takes this opportunity to squawk at Elissa telling her she shouldn’t be so happy since she just sent VM’s best friend home. Technically, you had a hand in that as well Amanda. Just saying.
Amanda then goes in for a hug with VM to drive her point home. And she plans on doing it all week.
After the competition, Amanda and VM talk in the bathroom. I’m starting to sense that VM has a weird thing about bunnies because of her excitement for the competition and that she calls Aaryn a bunny as well. For her own good, she better stay away from the real life Lennie Small.
Amanda keeps telling VM that she needs to nominate Elissa and if she does, she won’t have any targets on her and will be able to escape the week. VM at least is showing some backbone internally because she knows she can’t trust McManda and needs to take them out.