RHOBH Recap: New Year, Old Hags

Previously on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Brandi agreed to model for a kids cancer ward. Does Make a Wish know that leathery used vaginas are now making dying kids’ dreams come true? It’s called COMPETITION, bitches!

Try harder.

Also, Carlton designed a stripper room to convince us that her slow downhill transition into looking like Fred Willard doesn’t mean her vagina doesn’t work, …

If thehah weh a penis as lahge as this measuring tape, I would be sitting on it right nah cuz I’M TWENTY K?!?!? WRECKING BAAAALLLLLLL!!! I think I just peed.

… and Kingsleybal Lecter was sent to the California State Mental Hospital for the Crimially Insane.

Therapy tequniques include getting kicked by amateur gay dog trainers Kim found on the bulletin board at Starbucks.

Carlton is arriving at the Hustler store. Because she has a vagina. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but it still works. YAWN. It’s like watching a dried up fallen twig trying to squeeze out some sap. But more painful.

1 2 3 4 5 6Next