Hey, Trahsies! I hope you had as merry a Christmas as I did. After eating too much, drinking too much, and talking too much, I am totally ready to simply snark on some bitches. The problem is that I feel like Renee has a VERY real mental health issue and I have a hard time snarking on that. So, this recap may be filled with outrage on her behalf, but everyone else is fair game.
We start with last week’s drama, and Renee’s outrage over Natalie saying that Renee’s Rent-a-date smelled delicious. That one comment is not only the entire storyline for the episode, it is the excuse Renee uses for her behavior.
Renee is with her son, AJ, and his girlfriend. Did his girlfriend dye her hair? Or is this a different girlfriend?
They are meeting Renee’s Rent-a-date, and he is running late. Renee is very sure that Natalie’s behavior at their last get together has made Rent-a-date have second thoughts. She orders wine, and tells us that her issue was with pills, not alcohol.
I don’t know if you guys have ever met your own personal Kim Richards, but I know for a fact that you can’t trade out one addiction for another. That is exactly what Renee is doing here. Well, if you actually believe that pills were her only problem, then that is what she is doing. Most likely, the booze was a problem first and then she started mixing the two and thought that if she just got off pills, everything else would be fine. That never works!
Rent-a-date joins them and AJ is so over this entire scene. He looks so uncomfortable and embarrassed and his poor girlfriend is trying to be supportive while being hyper aware of the cameras. It is just so AWKWARD.
Rent-a-date talks about his connections in the rap industry and mortifies everyone watching the show on his behalf. Then, he tells them that he actually has a previous engagement (except, I don’t think he knows how to say those exact words), and needs to jet very soon. I wonder if this guy is working for just camera time and booze?
If there is an award for being the best at exploiting a family member, I think that Jennifer G. would be top dog.
I’ve never watched a single episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians, but I can bet that even those vapid bitches gasp in horror at someone exploiting a family member so recklessly for profit. Even Kyle Richards has nothing on Jennifer G. And while I do mean that Jennifer G. is exploiting her sister, I also mean that she is exploiting her nephew.
Natalie and her (allegedly) gay boyfriend, London, are having date night. She tells London about Renee’s reaction to delicious-gate and he says something about the lifestyle that Renee lives. It’s comedically ridiculous and I don’t know if I am supposed to think it’s funny, or if they are being serious and I just think it is funny.
Big Ang (Yay!) and Drita meet up with Alicia to watch golf, and Renee meets up with them (if that doesn’t tell you how scripted this show is, nothing else ever will – seriously? Golf?). What we have here is two women who know they don’t belong, and Big Ang (yay!) who knows she belongs anywhere she wants to go. Drita talks to us about how they don’t belong on golf courses because their guys don’t play golf – they carry the clubs. Renee says some shit about sticks and balls. Alicia says that she feels weird being there. Big Ang makes it known from the beginning that her husband plays golf, so it’s not a big deal for her.
The women talk about the assholes to whom they are now attached. Alicia, channeling BRAVO, suggests a girl’s trip. The only problem is that she has to make sure the trip doesn’t jeopardize her parole.
So, they are going to Vegas!
I hope no one goes on a bender if I say that I find these women DELICIOUS! Granted, their lifestyle is just so foreign to me, that I have a hard time figuring out what is just funny producer hi-jinx versus serious stuff that I should care about. I just love these women together and I wish that Jennifer G. would allow them to be more natural with each other.
Everyone is excited, and Alicia starts talking about invites. She (just like every reality host of a trip ever) wants to invite the person production told her to invite – which means Alicia is inviting Natalie no matter what everyone else says.
Renee is all on her high horse about Natalie complimenting Rent-a-date and is simply not having it. She even breaks out the fake tears while she tells us that Rent-a-date hasn’t been returning her calls.