Halloween notwithstanding, October was a scary month with body parts and functions providing more than their share of the…um…humor. We even had limericks involving, guess what?
So let’s get reading the responses to what the reality and the unreality shows provided, shall we?
classy drunk on DM Hurricane…: So basically I had to read 60+ posts to find out who kdance is?!?!?! These LT people are crazy. We are a different breed over here at the Trash. You don’t have to provide clues and riddles, we aren’t smart enough for that. (refer to our choices in television shows). We want our gossip, straight up, no filters.
PageantKidGrownUp on T&T Poo…: Pregnancy =/= two Christmas Turduckens stuffed in pants.
Sheesh on Comment Showcase winners responding to Aunt Dorsey’s win: (Itchy took) Second place to shark fucking
Sheesh on Toddlers and Tiaras minicap: Screw me once shame on me, screw me twice DON’T PUT YOUR KIDS IN PAGEANTS ANYMORE YOU SILLY TWAT!”
Aunt Dorsey on RHONJ: I’ve been enjoying the hell out of those for a week now. I highly recommend the one over at dlisted. Her idea of marriage seems to pieced together from years of the garden gnome’s having the letters of the Playboy Forum read to him. I know he didn’t read them himself, because his lips move when he reads something on his twitter.
Clare s on RHONJ Blaze: Is it just me or does Penny look like a really strung out Kim Richards with a bad dye job?
Itchy on Survivor, Return of the Jackass (on the possibly retouched, but def not photoshopped picture): Probst is paying you for giving him such a huge dong, isn’t he? I’d imagine something more noodly than that.
Parry by Aunt Dorsey: See there, you imagined noodles, I envisioned a wee, tiny something the size of a golf pencil.
Reposte by Itchy: What can I say? I’m generous.
Chick 110 chimed in with: Um, no. There’s actually a pic that’s been around for a while showing that Probst is very well endowed. And with the way he acts, I’m fairly sure he knows it.
Aunt Dorsey added: The bastard! He murdered a poor embryonic elephant and grafted it to his crotch. Wait until PETA hears about this. Seriously, those balls look like Dumbo’s ears. I wonder if he can fly….
Merry on Project Runway Crazy: Not one comment on Helen’s antique-y Betsy Ross bares her midriff thing? It grew on me (some) as I looked at it (like a fungus) but overall it looked dull and aged.
NotWithoutMyTV on Project Runway: My ideas are very innovative. Actually, they’re so innovative, most people refuse to comprehend them! Why aren’t I the inspiration for an “innovator” challenge?
Okay designers! Your inspiration is this car. Your time starts… now.
Okay designers! Your inspiration is adjectives that describe frozen yougurt. Your time starts… now.
Okay designers! Your inspiration is notwithoutmytv. There he is. Take it all in! Your time starts… now.
Is one of those challenges REALLY less feasible than the others?
NotWithoutMyTV on RHONJ Bad Penny: Radar online is reporting that “a source close to the Lauritas” says baby Nick heard Melissa latest song on the radio and now they can’t get him to stop crying. Apparently the troubled child “won’t stop hitting his little forehead on the kitchen floor,” and “Chris and Jacquie are just frantic.”
Aunt Dorsey on DWTS Hollywood: Tristan as Freddy Mercury? Not on your Nelly. More like a lame impersonation by Harvey P. Milquetoast with that anemic caterpillar mustache. Not to mention the fact he seriously needed a prosthetic lunchbox and tighter pants. (Snooki’s glow-in-the-dark teef veneers would have helped too.)
Aunt Dorsey on Sleepy Hollow: If Ich changed to modern dress, with that coiffure and facial hair thing going on, he’d look like a homeless dude. Soooo, he should probably stick with the ones that brang him.
NWMTV on RHONJ Blaze: Are Tiny and her learning-disabled, underachieving brood ACTUALLY getting a spin-off, or is that just scuttlebutt? I don’t know which I’d NOT watch in a bigger hurry: The Tiny Manzo Show, or I Dream of NeNe. TV would be a smarter, classier place if either or both of them were drawn, quartered, and the remains flown into the sun. Aboard disposable rockets, paid for by the proceeds of fines levied on Bravo by the FCC.
Itchy on Survivor Mini: Between Hayden’s troglodytic haircut and his complete lack of an upper lip exposing teeth that would put Alvin the Chipmunk to shame, what’s not to love?
Aunt Dorsey on RHOM: I want Lenny to get a set of matching duck lips and a huge set of bawl implants. Maybe some more hair plugs. They have those nuticals for dawgs. Why not. Then he and his wife would be the perfect set of bots.