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The Millionaire Matchmaker: Fleeing Men and Double Dates | TrashTalkTV - Part 5

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The Millionaire Matchmaker: Fleeing Men and Double Dates

Patti gets Joe alone to decide on his mini-dates.  He liked Michelle, the fitness/football/wrestler and Natalie the law student who looks like she could be Joe’s daughter.  He seems to have a tough time to pick between the two but he ends up choosing Natalie because he thought they had good chemistry.  Patti says she was shy and a dark horse.  In her talking head, she said Natalie was her favorite.  She was SO NOT but whatever, Patti. 

Since Frank flaked out and we’re down one d-bag, Patti visits Teague Egan, entrepreneur, at a local restaurant to set him up with Yolibeth.  She calls him out on blowing off the girls she set him up with in the past and says he’s got to cut that out and start listening to Patti, the all-knowing.  She says Teague is a nightmare but she’s desperate she likes him and has a girl to train him right.  She tells Teague no more sexy times for three months and makes him shake on it.  He won’t be shaking anything else for a while since he agrees (on camera) to her terms.  She’s going to set up a cooking lesson date for them and this will be a chaperone situation.  Patti’s dragging her boyfriend along to critique Teague’s dating skills. 

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Marissa, Justin and David line up and show Patti their twerking skillz.  Patti calls out Marisa’s camel toe and dubs it “massive”.  She’s such a good friend.   

We next find Joe playing volleyball on the beach as Natalie skips up from her Barbie car to join the party.  Joe introduces Natalie to Rachel who is an AVP player (pro volleyball).  Natalie either has played before or is a natural.  Joe likey.  They invite another couple to join in for a game and get soundly thrashed until they decide to communicate.  Natalie says she’s having a great time and Joe says he has another surprise for her.  Is it in his pants? 

On to Teague, Yolibeth, Patti and David who are getting a cooking lesson at Cook LA.  The owner of the place says they’re going to learn how to make gluten-free pasta.  Patti says she’s going to keep the eagle eye on him since he doesn’t listen and is a lazy fuck.  They put their aprons on and Patti immediately starts acting like a bitch wanting Teague to talk to Yoli.  She’s screaming at him to ask questions as the chef is explaining what they’ll be doing.  RUDE.  Teague waits until the owner is done talking and then starts making conversation.  Patti is haranguing him in the background.  GAH.  She’s so annoying!   A little while later they all toast each other.   

Back to Joe and Natalie.  Joe set up a picnic on the beach with some Cristal which Natalie cannot pronounce since her braces came off last week.  Joe pops the cork and kills a gull.  They small talk for a while and have drinkies.  Joe calls Natalie hot. 

Over to Teague and the gang eating what they just cooked.  Patti admonishes Teague for pouring his wine before Yoli’s.  They small talk and Patti finds out that Teague’s going to run in the Boston Marathon.  Yoli liked that and is glad to know that he’s not the typical LA guy.  She should reserve judgment on that for a little while longer.  Teague states that he and Yoli will go out after dinner and they’re bringing their friends along.  Patti and David say a “hell, no” to that and make them go out just the two of them.  Teague says, “yes sensai” and all is right with the world. 

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7 comments on “The Millionaire Matchmaker: Fleeing Men and Double Dates

  1. JRMACEY says:

    MM is pure garbage and Patti should be off the air. Trashy show cancelled. Some of her pawns and prizes are Narcissists, while others are sycophants … either way, to her, everyone is an object to be used to acquire more wealth.

    Insulting, demeaning, belittling, and so on and on, of others is a classic symptom of NPD. Normal people don’t act like that and normal people wouldn’t do that in exchange for money.

    IMO there is a “Pot-Kettle” thing going on here, as Patti is also Narcissistic — a Narcissist calling others Narcissistic. Patti has every single trait of NPD — Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

    IMO, her and her show are pure trash.

  2. rachelkashmir says:

    The thing that amuses me the most is how Patti and the Bravo Editing Monkeys are still trying to fob this show off as being real and authentic, like Patti’s clients aren’t grifting slimebags who are trying to promote their ‘businesses’ and the women aren’t wannabe gold diggers, and Patti isn’t the most materialistic woman EVER. Oh well. Won’t stop me from hate watching.

  3. Aunt Dorsey says:

    Thank you for recapping another exciting episode of “The Patti Stanker Procurement Agency” — I can’t stomach that vapid bitch and her bloated ego. If her love life over the past 30 years is any indication of her “success” at making love matches, I think most of her clientele would be better off going to Christian Mingle… At least the no nooky rules are probably the same.

  4. Miss Annie says:

    Patti and her crew could do with some acting lessons. Hate watchers, unite!

  5. Miss Annie says:

    Patti is the worst, yet I just can’t quit this trainwreck.

  6. JRMACEY says:

    She has only been in this new relationship for a short period of time, which will eventually come to a screeching halt when they are done using each other. She’ll blame him, he’ll blame her. She’ll be secretive about what happened, rumors will fly, adding to Patti’s never-ending drama-fests.

    Narcissists make the worst girl/boyfriends and even worse spouses. With that said, she is like one of those know-it-all types who gives parenting advice when they never even raised a child.

    She doesn’t have clients, she has victims. Once she has their money she doesn’t care if it works out or not. If it works out she takes all the credit and engages in self-glorification. So narcissistic.

  7. Aunt Dorsey says:

    I’ve pencilled in this Thursday’s episode as appointment-must-see-TV, because the “Patti Stanker Procurement Agency” is going to hook up that well-known New Jersey millionaire, Rosie “I’ll cut yer fucking tongue out” Pierri and find her a lipstick lesbian. Since Patti is a third-generation yenta, I just know she’ll find her true love.

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