Ahhh…the holidays. A time of family, food, presents and love in the form of Bravo’s resident celebrity brownnoser, Jersey’s own demure viola, Patti Stanger. Patti is a gift to us all – thank you, baby Jesus. She generously gave to us last week the not at all scripted “first time EVER” coupling of two millionaires, Courtney Kerr, and the tri-colored Swedish meatball, Stephan Dahlkvist. Jaws dropped, Patti gasped and gold-diggers wept. A Christmas miracle, if you will.
Today, we meet up with Patti in her office as a past “client” Omar Soliman, and his wife, Stacy, stop by for some camera time. Omar and his brother were featured on their episode with Omar memorably taking his date garbage hauling. The girl ends up dumping (geddit?) Omar after that date, Patti tells us. Quelle surprise! Patti is assured by Stacy that Omar did not request this of her so he either learned his lesson or his episode was completely scripted. A mystery for the ages. He has a baby now and Patti takes all the credit for creating life in Stacy’s womb. Another Christmas miracle! Anyway, his reason for stopping by was to ask Patti to set up his buddy, Joe. Joe’s local and Patti says she’ll see if he’s a right fit for the club. Requirements: Money, somewhat of a personality – good or bad – preferable bad, and a general fondness for famewhoring. I wonder if Patti will pick him? The suspense is killing me.
Mother Theresa and the Virgin Mary of Bravo
Back at the office, Justin sits down with Marisa and David. David is super stressed ghost writing Patti’s blog. He reads an entry from, ahem, one of his followers. Follower has a problem and needs advice on what to do since their boyfriend is too quick on the trigger, ifyouknowwhatimean. All three emit disgusted noises from their mouth holes. Patti enters, takes a seat and reads the entry out loud and says they have to tease and move.
Marisa’s potential Millionaire is an Italian guy named Frank Sirino, personal injury lawyer. David sasses that he’s an ambulance chaser so Marisa valley girls David and tells him at least he’s chasing, so whatEVER. They all laugh and pretend what a witty quip that was.
Marisa’s in there somewhere