August’s Best Comments
Christmas is now a memory, along with the wine stains on the carpet. Only the weekend to think about, and that will be a trifle anticlimactic with festivities past and yet to come.
That’s why we have the Comment of the Month. It’s a party on your ‘puter screen, so sit back and have a giggle or two at the expense of those oh so inflated egos on our tv screens.
Now if those packages from Amazon would only arrive….
NotWithoutMyTV on Tre and Joe: Are there any backward, third-world client states of the U.S. that have capital punishment for tax crimes? And might one of those banana republics be interested in accepting extradition of two faux mafia reprobates? We might be able to rustle up a few pre-owned F-16s and throw them into the bargain… c’mon, Pakistan. You know you’ve got a nice, dank hole you could throw these two down. We can do better than this. Vicki’s face is a slow-pitch softball right across the plate. It’s gotten too easy.
Lindaw205 on Tre and Joe: She needs to take that face back and demand a full refund. Hope she kept her receipt.
NotWithoutMyTV on Tre and Joe: Has anyone been able to verify that slutty headshrinker’s credentials? Because from the amount of posing and preening she does, she seems more suited to a backroom gangbang than a counseling session. Maybe if she smoked one of those electronic cigarettes I’d have more confidence in her.
Cattyfan on Comment Showcase: Hey! I as the example of how to do it right! What a nice change of pace. My husband, The Pastor, usually uses me in his sermons as the “what not to do”…
Itchy on the Bachelorette: I hope he comes back and she says, “Well, thanks. But that was before I got a look at Chris’s dick. Buh-bye!”
Ionatrailer on Princesses: It’s offical…Ashlee has taken the Most Useless Human Being On The Planet Crown away from Deena Cortese of Jersey Shore. Even Snooki thinks she’s a schmuck. Even The situation wouldn’t even dare think about getting it in her.
Ashlee is going to wind up a spinster yenta after this. Who would marry her let alone date her other than her father?
Merry2349 on SisterWives: And Kody worries that if he even talks to women, they’ll swoon at his feet. Imagine that opening line: “Hey, I’m a disheveled, unemployed, middle-aged douche with a bad reality show, four miserable wives, and a gaggle of kids who don’t respect me.” Who could resist?
Chicken Lips on Sister Wives: Because what kind of father would ignore that horseshit going down? Wait – I think I just answered my own question.
Itchy on Bachelorette: Only reason I’m tuning in next week is because I have no choice, my mind has been brainwashed. After the season is over, I’m shaving my head, getting a set of finger-cymbals and I’m going dancing in the streets dressed in an orange sheet and handing out audition signup sheets for the next Bachelor season. Om Hari-hari-son. Om Hari-hari-son. Om Hari-hari-son. Chrisna Chrisna Hari-son.
Itchy on BB Plutonium: I found Jessie to be kind of condescending. Like a little rich girl trying to comfort a starving puppy (who she’s not going to adopt or anything, just pat him on the head a bit before shoving him off her lap so she doesn’t get fleas).
Dipwad on Sister Wives: I spend my time watching this show yelling GET A JOB! at the TV.
I don’t feel this is a productive use of my time.
Aunt Dorsey on BB Float: Mike Boogie…oooffffff, there’s an appetite suppressant, well more like a lunch launcher, if I ever saw one.
Sarcasatire on Not News, Amanda: I had No IDEA she was this horrible… she’s gotten a pretty amazing edit on the show. Clearly, she’s much worse than Baboon Teeth Barbie who’s getting the only villain edit this season.
Followed by Waffleboy: You have a great mind. I’m fascinated by string and shiny objects for hours at a time. That video is something though, isn’t it?
PollyPocket on Kardashians’ Shady Stunt: The next time Kris whores her offspring out for real, none of the villiagers will believe her and the whole lot of them will be eaten by wolves. That’ll teach ‘em.
What What on Video BB in 2 Minutes: I seriously think the most memorable thing about the season is going to be Ronnie screaming “AMERICAAAAA”
begonia skies on Hold the Ketchup: I would get much more satisfaction out of knowing that it was a bruise she received from Cara Maria just for being an obnoxious waste of space who’s stuck up Johnny Bananas ass.
Gary Warren on TLC’s Cheer Perfection: This is the best show on tv. Like in the history of tv ever. There was Lost and then there was Cheer Perfection. Breaking Bad is awesome too. So Breaking Bad, Lost, and then Cheer Perfection. Except I loved the Shield. The Shield, Breaking Bad Lost and then…oh wait. Sons of Anarchy is great. So Sons of Anarchy, The Shield, Breaking Bad, Lost and Cheer Perfection. The best ever.
Itchy on Comment Showcase Voting: Ha! I voted for myself. I’m just like Sarah Palin now.
CattyFn on BB Contestant gets a Little…:Is using WD-40 during personal pleasure a new thing?
Aunt Dorsey on BB Double Eviction: I was so touched when the household cried as they all voted out their bestest friend Judd. What a bunch of enema nozzles.
NotWithoutMyTV on Project Runway Let’s Tie: Other peoples’ happiness makes me puke.
Tally on ANTM recrap: Goin’ to tha Chapel: This weekend, I watched this episode of ANTM and decided to learn Morse Code. One of these things is outdated and has no place in modern society. The other is Morse Code.
Classy Drunk on The incredible whiny:The aftershow summed it up also. He wanted him out because he was snoring loudly and singing in the morning. Yeah right. You were mad b/c he was banging your ex.
Gypsy on RHOC Snitches(Reply to Honeybee):Its like you have ESPN or something.
Begonia Skies on Sister Wives Minicap: I can’t wait for the start of Janelle’s eventual spinoff, Breaking Polygamy: Janelle Gives Zero Fucks.
Gypsy on Bad Girls’ Club: Don’t touch my .99$ shit is way more bearable than my $99.00 shit. I would smack a ho on principle too.
DarkStar on BB It’s Sticky…: Also, where did they get most of these people? Did they go to the local KKK office and ask them who would be a good fit on a reality show?
PollyPocket on Brooks Ayres lives…: Does hallmark make a “beat her ass” greeting card? Why haven’t I seen that one?
NotWithoutMyTV on Sister Wives: Mariah gets more unfortunate looking every week. I hope she can make really good biscuits or darn the be-Jesus out of a sock, because otherwise ….
Tally on Comment Showcase: – …. .- -. -.- -.– — ..- (That’s “thank you” in Morse Code. I wasn’t kidding. I really need to gain employment. I have my sights set on Braille next…well, my fingers.)
Merry on Sister Wives: Aw, you mean men don’t want a frumpy, whiny, jealous, pouty, possibly homicidal chick with no useful skills for a first (or second, fourth, or eighth) wife? Damn, everything I thought I knew is wrong.
Gypsy on RHONJ Melania…: I’ll have you all know Bret Michael’s weave is pretty insulted you keep using it as a reference when speaking about Kim D. I mean,it’s Bret Michael’s Rock of Love Weave FFS!
Have some respect!
Froggy on RHOC Twatshots…: Really,Vicki? You couldn’t get a chemical straightening appointment during the entire season? Don’t those people KNOW WHO YOU ARE? You’re on TV, for goodness sake!
Lola del Rio on Brain Rot: Dear Madonna: we already have a miley Cyrus. Thanksssssssss but No Thankssssss, Every-Fucking-Body
Pope Philly on Million Dollar Listing: I’m glad to see Madison happy. He really has grown on me. Granted, a lot of that is because Josh A. makes everyone look like a wonderful person.
Chaosbutterfly on ANTM (could choose only one out of seven winners!): Unless you were married and divorced by 18, your pain and personal struggles ain’t shit.
Your house burned down? At least you weren’t married and divorced by 18.
You’re homeless? Well, do you know what it’s like to be married and divorced by 18?!
You have a brain tumor and less than three months to live? That’s not so bad. Let me tell you the tale of when I was married and divorced by 18.
JalleytoCali, description of the RHONJ from Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Monday August 26th:I treat reunion shows the same way my father treats sneezes. I’ll allow the first two but on the third one I’m going to tell you to go fuck yourself.
Mister__Dangerous BB Shut. Up. Americah: That’s MY dream situation! Except the McCrae being gay part. McCrae isn’t man enough to be gay.
NotWithoutMyTV on Sister Wives: This show is like sitting through an entire baseball game. Exactly fuck-all squared happens, over an interminable length of time, and you’re better off just watching the highlights on the 11 o’clock news.
classy drunk on All You Need to Know about the VMAs: Miley can’t twerk. That’s really all there is too it. She needs to stick with dances that she can perform well instead of looking like a flopping fish out of water.
Polly Pocket on Sister Wives: That’s right girls, your most prized possession is your pure, untouched VAGINA. Mommy and daddy could care less about interests, talents, and abilities.
TRose on RHOC Briana?: @MK-That was amazing! I didn’t think the stairs led anywhere and then Brooks came sweeping down like his name is Scarlett.
Rachelkashmir on All You Need to Know about the VMAs: The thing I find most obnoxious is she’s not doing anything that hasn’t been done a 1000 times before. The Who, Alice Cooper, Kiss, Iggy Pop, David Bowie, Ozzy Osborne, hell even Madonna have long since paved that road to controversy. She can’t walk down that paved road and call herself a pioneer.
Gypsy on RHONJ Healing…: Yeah but who knows what that pill popping philandering floozy brought with her. Did I just make that up?
Aunt Dorsey on BB Zingbot Party: Well, I’m going to watch BB tonight in hopes that they manage to flush that little floating turd, but his ears will probably catch on the rim, so goodbye Arayan nation, get those roots seen to.
Gypsy on Brain Rot 8/31: I will gladly hear all about Bieber, Lindsay, Miley, any random child star drug addict and the who panel of The View 100x if you will stop posting about the Trashians.