Ugh, I must have been half asleep when I finished watching the first time because I erased this from my DVR. So I’m watching it online and my internet speed package is called Molasses because I’m cheap so I never stream stuff. I suppose if I’m going to watch an episode that jerks like Claymation this is a good one.
The show opens on Ich chopping firewood outside his cabin while Abbie rolls up. She asks him about Christmas trees so we know it’s been about a month since the most depressing Thanksgiving ever. Ich is offended by the very notion of celebrating the birth of Christ via “a titular display of lumber” because he is in a MOOD. Please note it’s Christmas time in upstate New York but the trees are full of leaves and Ich’s so warm he took off his coat.
Once again Abbie display her strong grasp of history by assuming Ich has heard of Scrooge, Santa Claus and snowmen. Someone needs to get her “The Idiot’s Guide to the Colonial Era” for Christmas. She assures Ich she understands why he’s so upset but she’s sure Katrina had a reason to keep their kid a secret. Ich just wants to know what happened to his son and to find that out he has to talk to Katrina. Abbie points out that Katrina lives in a gated community but Ich has a plan. The plan is Walter the Sin Eater who is arriving at that very moment. What a conveniently timed coincidence!
When Walter finds out what Ich wants he insists he can’t help. But Ich points out that he brought someone long dead to talk to Ich so he’s sure Walter can do this. Reluctantly Walter agrees but he warns them that it’s dangerous and will have consequences. Well, big fat duh, Walter. Crabbie can’t buy milk without releasing 14 demons into the world via a cursed checkout scanner. (He also tells them to call him Henry but we won’t be doing that.) Walter warns Abbie not to interfere no matter what happens, tells Ich to think hard about Katrina, and then just starts choking the life out of Ich. He calmly explains that Ich needs to be close to death to get to Katrina. Walter’s a bad ass.
Ich passes out and finds himself in a church. A baby is crying and its carriage is about to tumble down the stairs. Ich stops it but there’s no baby inside, just a really creepy doll.
Katrina appears behind him, lighting candles under a cross. There are churches and crosses in Moloch’s purgatory? Seems like he would be rather anti-everything in this scene. Once again our married lovers act like they met each other five minutes ago. Ich jumps right to the point – why didn’t she tell him about their son? Katrina’s weepy as she tells him she didn’t have time when he first awoke. She named the baby Jeremy, after Ich’s grandfather. We switch to flashback mode as she tells him she didn’t know she was pregnant when she put him in the cave. Neither did her coven, who went after her to punish her for that spell. She fled to Europe to find a way to break the tie between Ich and Spiro but failed. When she got back the coven was still after her so she fled to Lachlan and Grace via a puff a smoke.
She knew she was still in danger from the coven and didn’t want Jeremy to grow up on the run. Or worse not grow up at all. So she gave him up. But first she gave him a doll.
She gives the doll to the baby, explaining that now he will always have a friend, some to keep him safe, and he will never be alone.
Katrina left him with Grace and her husband, a pastor. Because the being the white adopted child of a black couple in Colonial times is much safer than staying with a powerful witch. The church in Purgatory is an echo of that church to remind her of her pain. Somehow this leads Ich to the conclusion that it was her coven that banished her to Purgatory. Katrina confirms this and apologizes for everything. This makes little to no sense. Previously Katrina claimed that Moloch trapped her there and she knew why. Later it was revealed that the “why” was because of Spiro. Now she’s saying the coven trapped her there? So is the coven in league with Moloch? Or is Katrina a liar who changes her story as it suits her? Or is it just bad writing? Katrina orders Ich to go as a giant creature with a stitched up face bursts into the church. Ich wakes up gasping then tells Abbie that Grace took in Jeremy but he still doesn’t know what his fate was. In the woods the scary stitched up thing from the church rises from the ground and cries out. CREDITS! This show packs a lot of stuff in before the credits.
After the credits Abbie suggests they hit the Historical Society Library’s archives. Is this the same Historical Society that ran the museum that gives out incorrect info about Paul Revere? Because Ich might have an aneurism correcting all their nonsense. Walter wants to leave but Ich asks him to stay and help. He refuses but Abbie knows his mother died when he was little and convinces him to stay with a little speech about saving families. No one on this show is allowed to have a happy childhood. They leave as Stitchy Dude watches.
Irving is at his old church asking his pastor what the Bible says about the Witnesses in Revelation and their followers. The pastor casually says they all die because he doesn’t know Irving is one of those followers. Irving says he joined the service to help people. Then after Macy was hit by the car he joined the police force but was never home so he lost his wife. He’s bummed that his life of helping others is going to lead to his death. The pastor tells him to have faith in God’s plan but Irving just laughs at that.
At the Historical Society Library the librarian says they have no records about Trinity church (where Grace’s husband was pastor) from Colonial times. Ich charms her with a little history lesson about the origins of “Sleeper’s Haven” andshe directs to them to the right area. They find Grace’s death record which also includes a really detailed back story. The townies were afraid of Jeremy because he started fires when he cried. Ich realizes Jeremy inherited Katrina’s powers. If Katrina was starting fires by crying how exactly did Ich not realize she was a witch?
Grace and her husband died in a house fire Jeremy started but he was found alive the next morning in the ashes. The townies wouldn’t help Jeremy so he was sent to a home for war orphans. There’s no more information and Abbie doubts the librarian will help. Walter says lying is a sin and he can tell she knows more than she was telling. Ich looks for her but she’s gone. She’s in her car and is attacked by Stitchy Guy. Okay, that’s getting annoying, we all know that Stitchy Guy is Jeremy’s doll come to life so let’s call him Chucky. They rush outside but Chucky crushed the top of the car and killed the librarian.
Irving picks up Macy and takes the chance to apologize to Cynthia for being gone so much. She tearfully says if he’d said that a year ago they’d still be together. Macy overhears it and it seems to make her like her dad a bit more.
The world’s most inefficient police force has already gathered all the librarian’s personal things from her office and delivered them in evidence boxes to the Room of Requirement. Even when they are quick they are stupid. The police don’t know about Chucky and they just hand over their murder investigation evidence right away. Abbie unpacks a box that Walter says is full of pain. On top is the symbol of Katrina’s coven which Ich somehow knows even though he didn’t know she was a witch. The writer’s do know that when someone tells a story we see as a flashback the characters don’t see it? The librarian was in the coven and inside the box Ich finds a drawing of Chucky.
Abbie recognizes it as the doll she saw when she spoke to Katrina. Walter realizes the pain in the box is Jeremy’s and picks up the book. His eyes go black and he sees a vision of the horribly mean priest who ran the orphanage. He tried to get rid of Jeremy’s powers by beating him. Until the day a drop of Jeremy’s blood fell on the doll and brought it to life.
Chucky killed the priest with a quick snap of the neck then tenderly consoled the boy.
Ich realizes that Chucky was in Purgatory and hitched a ride back with Ich. Abbie doesn’t understand why Chucky killed the librarian. Ich explains that as a member of the coven Chucky would blame her for separating Jeremy from Katrina. Well that’s a bit of misplaced anger, Katrina was the one who made that decision.
Irving and Macy are walking in the park while she tries to explain Vine. Irving and I are of an age, kid, and I can guarantee you neither of us gets the point of a six second video. They have a nice moment as she explains that when he gets a certain tone in his voice she feels helpless. But she’s a fighter like he always said and she needs hot chocolate to fight. She goes to see a dog while he gets the drink. Oh, right, dude is selling hot chocolate, not ice cream like I said in the minicap. This is what happens when you minicap from memory after 4 hours of sleep. Hot chocolate guy seems friendly, remarking that Macy seems strong. But then he wonders if she’s strong enough to fight for her soul. His voice multiples and his eyes go all white as he tells Irving that while God may have a plan they do too. Irving grabs him and starts shouting “What are you?” As he roughs the guy up he knocks him into a middle aged lady and the demon possession jumps. Now the dude is scared and the police comes over. Irving shows them his badge, apologizes and walks away. Macy saw it all and is angry at him again. As they leave the lady’s eyes go white and she smiles after them. But not a nice smile. A Grinch smile.
Walter finds Ich in the tunnels and tells him the only thing in the librarian’s safe were tickets to traveling carnivals for the past century. He realizes Ich is brooding and asks him what’s wrong. Ich tells him is father said that a son follows his father’s actions more than his advice. He knows it’s not his fault he wasn’t there for Jeremy but he also knows Jeremy’s rage and pain unleashed Chucky into the world. Walter is very kind and tells him that he’s sure Jeremy was a good man because he was molded from Ich’s clay. Ich gets his “aha!” face and rushes off to find Washington’s Bible. He reads a Psalm about being seen as “unformed clay.” Abbie remembers this from Sunday school, a creature called a golem that acts like a “magical attack dog.” Bzzzzz, wrong answer. She didn’t learn about it in Sunday school unless this is our hint she’s Jewish. Golems are part of Jewish folklore, it’s highly unlikely a Christian Sunday school would teach about golems. But some Jewish people call Hebrew school Sunday school. They realize it was Jeremy’s golem that killed the librarian.
Abbie sees a poster for “The Four Who Speak as One” and tells them she saw these women in the same house with Katrina and the doll. Ich tells them they were the ones that sent Katrina to Purgatory. Walter warns them that the golem is probably after them too. Ich thinks they can bring Katrina back from Purgatory and they head off to where the carnival was two days ago outside of town.
At the carnival Ich insists on going in alone to confront the people that condemned his wife to Purgatory. Inside the women are all spooky and veiled, speaking in growly whispers, sometimes together but most not. One takes Ich’s palm and gets flashes of his life. They tell him they’ve been waiting centuries for him because prophecy said his arrival means their death.
After the commercial the four ladies are smoking a hookah. Not because Colonial witches were known for their hookah habits. Merely because it’s a cool affect to have one inhale and a second exhale. Ich tells them he will take them to safety if they release Katrina. The witches are very que sara sara about it, resigned to accept their death if that’s their destiny. So Ich tries threats this time, warning them that if they don’t help him Chucky’s going to kick the rotting teeth out of their heads. (But in a more civilized way of course.) They want to know how Chucky returned so Ich tells them about the Purgatory hitch hiking. That does not endear him to them. He’s broken the same rules as Katrina and sealed his fate. But Ich doesn’t believe in preordained fate. They tell him Katrina broke the rules and endangered herself and Jeremy when she didn’t let Ich die. He yells at them that it wasn’t their decision and they look shocked. Ladies, you haven’t seen anything yet. Just ask the Ent.
Ich tells them the coven should be a source of good but instead they gave Katrina to the enemy. They tell him that necessity breeds strange alliances. Ah, so it is Moloch’s Purgatory but the coven sent Katrina there as punishment. Hey, the witches get their own flashback, that’s nice. Jeremy was hunted and Chucky killed the people after him. Looks like Jeremy made it to his teen years. When the coven realized who he was they invited Jeremy to join them. But he refused and stayed with Chucky. They couldn’t destroy Chucky so they sent him to Purgatory. Ah, that’s how Chucky knew about them. They again invited Jeremy to join them but he turned them down. He was too powerful for them to kill. But they managed to stop his heart and then they buried him. It’s worth noting that he flinches when the dirt hits him. So either the kid is a bad actor or stopping his heart didn’t actually kill him. Ich calls them murders and they agree. Death begs death and that’s why they are fated to die now. Literally now because Chucky has arrived. They tell him that since Jeremy’s blood made it only his blood can kill it then tell him to run.
Outside people are running and screaming as Chucky rampages through the Carnival. Why there is a Carnival at Christmas time in New York and why they aren’t running through two feet of snow is unclear. Ich runs out and meets up with Abbie and Walter. They watch as Chucky destroys the witches’ tent and assume they are dead. Chucky continues to rampage through the carnival apparently planning to kill everyone. Ich and Walter hide behind a couple of Funhouse mirrors but Chucky just bursts through them like the Kool-Aid pitcher. They run behind a car and Ich is totally fine. Until Walter points out that a big ole piece of mirror is stuck in his chest. Then he collapses and starts panting. Man up, Crane, this is no time for your histrionics. He pulls it out and sees the blood on it. Both of them realize that his blood can stop Chucky.
Which is fortuitous timing because Chucky’s about to kill Abbie. Ich yells for him to stop and tells him he’s Jeremy’s father. Chucky stops and listens but makes sad moaning noises. Ich tells him he owes Chucky his life for acting as Jeremy’s protector and father figure. But Jeremy is gone and they both have to let him go. Ich is very sad and Chucky seems to agree to stop for a moment. But then he rages again and Ich stabs him with the bloody mirror. He collapses immediately, moaning and in pain. Ich kneels down and takes his hand, telling him softly that he’s had enough pain. He sadly says, “My son, be at peace. Be at peace.” Chucky dies and Ich is teary. Chucky turns back into a doll as Abbie tells him it’s over.
Back at the station Ich thanks Walter for his help. Walter has realized he is involved in their battle because if he hadn’t separated Ich and Spiro the blood wouldn’t have stopped Chucky. He kindly tells Ich that we never really bury the dead, we carry them with us, and leaves. Abbie gives Ich his Christmas present early to cheer him up. He opens it and holds it up with a smile. “Oh! You embroidered my name on some over-sized hosiery.” Best line of the night. Abbie tells him it’s a tradition and wishes him a merry Christmas. She fails to explain though so now he thinks we all give each other giant personalized socks for Christmas.
Abbie leaves to get some food without asking him to join or offering to bring him anything. That girl needs a lesson in manners. As soon as she is gone the decorative mirror that hangs in every police station cracks into pieces. Ich walks over and it repairs itself but is now showing a forest. Ich enters the forest and challenges Moloch to come out and face him. Moloch gives him a warning. “A saint’s name is a sign. When you know my meaning war will take form. Then the End of Days begins.” Ich yells that won’t happen and again tells Moloch to come out. Moloch tells him that his and Abbie’s deaths are assured. Ich is still taunting him so he reveals himself and backhands Ich across the forest. He tells Ich that he touched Abbie’s soul once and he’ll soon have it. Because Ich will give it to him. Ich wakes up in the office on the floor. Abbie comes in and he tells her what Moloch just said, his face full of fear. Well that’s a down note to end on.
No new episode for at least two weeks. Probably not until the new year. But I’ll be recapping this week’s Almost Human so watch for that. Plus I’ll be recapping a certain period soap opera for the intellectual set when it returns in January. In the meantime get more TrashTalk on Facebook, Twitter, and our YouTube page!