Courtney Loves Dallas Recap - Could Someone Order A Wambulance, Please? | TrashTalkTV

Courtney Loves Dallas Recap – Parts 1 and 2: Could Someone Order A Wahmbulance, Please?

Hey, y’all!! It’s CynTV, back to recap a new Bravo train wreck called Courtney Does Dallas. And let me tell you, Bravo is getting desperate. It “stars” Courtney Kerr, who was on a previous Bravo train wreck called Most Eligible Dallas. I’m sure you all watched that. Not. She’s a thirty-year old  fashion blogger who spends most of her time whining about her romantic life. Y’all, I think I lost a few brain cells watching this idiot. And if SHE had any brain cells, she should be embarrassed as hell.  The most titillating thing about this show so far is the tongue in cheek reference to an iconic 70’s porn flick called “Debbie Does Dallas”.  Let me tell you – there are more things wrong with Courtney than the Obamacare website! So, snap on your examination gloves as we dissect this bad boy, shall we?

 

According to the kiss-ass bio on Bravo, she has a well-known website called “What Courtney Wore”. (Never heard of it.) She eats, sleeps and breathes fashion! (Yawn.)  And look for her much-anticipated collaboration with Bauble Bar “that fashionistas couldn’t wait to get their hands on”.   Oh, please. And I’ll believe the “thirty-something” reference if you mean 38 and not 30.  She’s also a big fan of the Snooki school of North Jersey high hair.  Perhaps you shouldn’t wear a hairstyle that emphasizes your six-head.

 

PoofPonyTail

 Although it is mesmerizing…

 

Poor, poor Courtney does not have the best luck with men, as she gleefully tells us. One of her boyfriends broke up with her in the middle of a New Year’s countdown!  Now, would you be willing to admit that?  I’ll bet the guy gave her about a million breakup hints. She says she’s a douche bag magnet. I say she doesn’t have a fucking clue.  More proof she’s clueless: she quits a “cushy corporate job” to write a fashion blog because a few women complimented on her clothes.  What, you couldn’t do both? I’ll bet you can’t chew gum and pat your head, either…

 

Courtney and her BFF Tory (or Tori) are in Court’s kitchen birching when a shitload of boxes arrive.  They’re from designers who send her clothes to feature on her blog. Court tells us that her “thing” is to pair high-end items with low-end items. Like – from Walmart? I’m sure she’s driven past a Walmart.  And I bet those designers are THRILLED to see a $300 dollar blouse slumming with a $5 wife beater.

CDD04biggercloset

Someone needs a bigger closet.

 

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35 comments on “Courtney Loves Dallas Recap – Parts 1 and 2: Could Someone Order A Wahmbulance, Please?

  1. Gypsy Gypsy says:

    Auntie, this fishwives thing, pardon my ignorance but can you elaborate? It’s not just for the “Real” ones?

  2. LynnB says:

    Yes, how was that her cushy corporate job? LMAO

  3. LynnB says:

    Courtney had no trouble when Matt was using women and being a dick to them while they were “besties” until he did it to her…and now he’s the douche. That’s a surprise? He just stopped calling? She watched him do it for years. And if she is 30 I am a virgin with 2 kids.

  4. Gypsy Gypsy says:

    LynnB! YOU WIN ALL THE THINGS! She looks older than Kyle Twitchards!

  5. Aunt Dorsey says:

    Just my little joke. When I was a sweet young thing, one was constantly admonished not to act like a fishwife. None of them are really hausfraus in the traditional sense. A fishwife was a fish monger and most of these “housewives” are hawking some crap or other, but the other pejorative meaning fishwife took on was that of a vulgar, verbally abusive, foul mouthed, low rent woman, a shit-stirrer and drama queen….and I just believe in truth in advertising. Watch one of the reunions and it’s like the damn annual convocation of fishwives.

    After a while all of Andy’s shows just blur together but I guess technically this lady doesn’t qualify, she’s a fashionista, no?

  6. Gypsy Gypsy says:

    Thank you. So who would you consider the worst Fish wife, in your opinion that is?

  7. CynTV CynTV says:

    OMG – When I watched the mess I thought NO ONE was going to watch this! So THANKS, guys! (You too, CortFan.) My favorite part of this show is Courtney confronting Matt in a Gymboree outfit at some random party wanting to have a “serious” conversation. And I’m sure they’ll be more OMG moments when Matt “accidentally” runs into Courtney.

  8. fury13 says:

    Manager can be a subjective term, as well. Does it mean she was in charge of pulling down the metal door and locking it at closing time? And I maaaaay have worked an ‘event’ (not implying any sort of exclusiveness whatsoever) where, alas, her guest for the seated part failed to show. She was NOT happy. At least her inability to find male companionship is (so far) being accurately represented! In fairness I must reveal that she was VERY polite to the staff…disappointing, I know.

  9. labowner says:

    Who has the larger forehead? Courtney or Tre?

  10. TN Gal says:

    *raises hand and makes Arnold Horseshack “oooh, oooh” noise*
    Tammy Sue Barney Judge! She’s taking Simin to court so the kids can appear on OC next season. I guess she’s ran out of people/situations to exploit and old Rapey Eyes Ryan is too busy. Time to send the next generation into therapy!

  11. TN Gal says:

    Cort. Tre has a low hairline. Cort’s looks like it’s trying to run away from her face.

  12. Aunt Dorsey says:

    Ding, ding, ding, dinggggg and we have a winnah! TN Gal takes home the slimy mackerel trophy. Of course, the entire cast of New Jersey is nipping at Tammy Sue’s round heels.

  13. jennbug says:

    Put the two together and it’d all equal out….. like a math equation neither can understand!

  14. aubreyj says:

    Courtney is acting really shallow and clueless, agreed!

  15. aubreyj says:

    Exactly.

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