Hey Trashmii! How are things!? Let’s get to it. We open on a close-up of Diane, looking like she just swallowed something painful. She gets up like she also sat on something painful and walks into Will’s office.
I talked about you, she tells him. And instead of defending you like I usually do, I was like, I would rather have Walter White as a law partner, because at least he wouldn’t sleep with Alicia. I told them you’re a money-stealing, judge-bribing, law bender.
Will is understandably angry and leaves with few words. As Diane’s walking back to her office, a secretary comes up and says she doesn’t have to trash Will, Eli has found another way, which I guess was having Big glare at the Chief Justice the way Diane is glaring at this poor lady now. Diane looks at the message slip like it’s going to talk to her.
Segue via the squeal of flash bulbs. Goobernatorial photos. Blowsy Journalista has come by to
poke at Mr. Big’s sore spots interview the First Couple of Illinois. He’s been “pre-innoculated” by his prison stay in S1, so he doesn’t need to go again, like those 4 predecessors of his. Journalady scribbles down how clever he is, and how “pre-innoculated” is actually redundant. She asks Peter and Alicia to kiss, like a big perv. No thank you, says Alicia.
Why did Mr. Big fire Pillow Lips and put in his Yes Man, Journalady wants to know. So Pillow Lips waited one whole episode before coming back to undo things and people. Alicia is interrupted by a call from her clients of the week, who (of course) have a major issue. She gets ready to leave, and she can’t find Grace because the only person sitting in the front office is this hot girl in the bodycon dress that Stockard bought her last week. Ha.
Will is running his angries off on
green screen North Avenue Beach when Diane’s rumor journalist calls him to “fact check” if he’s stolen any more money. Will stomps back to the office and asks Kalinda to use her crack investigative skillz to catch Diane with her pants down, retroactively. Why, Kalinda asks. We’re kicking her out, and we need dirt in case it gets contentious, says Will. Well, you can guarantee contention by looking for dirt, says Kalinda. But, she adds. I’m happy to get some screen time so it’s cool with me.
Alicia’s clients’ house. Two parents-to-be and a youthful surrogate mom who likes Twizzlers. They just found out that surrogate baby has an 85% of having T’Pau Syndrome, which means he will be born with a little bit of heart and soul, but not enough of either to survive for very long. Or something. Yes, I’m making light of this because I don’t think it’s fair for the show to throw birth defects and firm breakup into the same ep with so little comic relief.
Super Secret Partner Meeting on the empty 16th floor, where the firm had offices in its former glory. The L/G partners need a quorum to oust Diane. David Lee asks Alicia if she arrived by bicycle. Then they appoint an Ousting Committee consisting of Will, David Lee, Hesh from the Sopranos (originally dragged out of retirement to oust Bond, and then not ousted himself because it wasn’t a compelling subplot)… oh, and Alicia to round out the team and provide a dissenting opinion. She’s always being invited onto committees and asked to defend unpopular opinions.
So she walks out of there and then (awesomely) into her living room, where Cary and Other Cary are debating the better looking font for the Agos & Egos website or letterhead or temporary tattoos. That’s what qualifies for the top of their agenda. The conversation sounds just like the partners’, except pointless. Grace walks by in some fitted little number and Cary watches admiringly.