Last week, NeNe’s bridesmaids had it out with Diana, Gregg failed at fatherhood and the wedding planner was on the brink of a bloop bloop.
NeNe brings Marlo, Lexis and Diana together for a lunch. Marlo begins their already awkward gathering by asking why Diana’s eyebrows are up so high. Whenever I’m not getting along with someone, I always try to critique their personal appearance in an effort to break the ice. I’m shocked it didn’t work.
NeNe tells them that they acted like fools in L.A. NeNe wants to know what their issue is with Diana. Lexis wants them to be left alone; they can share NeNe without Diana being on their back. Diana was upset that Lexis accused Diana of wanting NeNe to herself and being happy when they divorced. NeNe defends Diana as being happy that NeNe was trying to find happiness when she was dating; it wasn’t that she wanted to get rid of Gregg. Lexis and Diana agree to get along for NeNe’s sake. Marlo says that Diana never did anything to her but she’s not friendly. Marlo says that in school they had Officer Friendly who always smiled. NeNe says that she is not an officer so Marlo agrees and says that she’s more of a security guard – especially when it comes to NeNe. Ok. That was funny. Diana is definitely the fun police. She’s so intense that it’s hard to believe NeNe’s 15 carat diamond didn’t come shooting out of her ass. They agree to get along for the sake of the wedding. Marlo and Diana hug and move on from this…until the show needs more drama.
NeNe meets Porsha. Funny how NeNe seems to be embracing Porsha when she admitted that she was the housewife she wanted recast for next season. I think that NeNe grew fond of her as the result of the divorce. NeNe can take her under her wings and show her how to turn her life around…by marrying the same man all over again.
NeNe is pissed that Tiffany hasn’t sent sketches that were promised to her. Porsha is shocked that Tiffany is dropping the ball because she was so excited about getting NeNe as a client. I know that not all marriages work out but I don’t know that I’d want the same planner as one who orchestrated Porsha’s collapsed situation. Porsha says that Tiffany probably wasn’t expecting someone so hands on and she needs to have a serious talk with her. NeNe says she may call off the wedding but Porsha stops her from doing that. After all, there’s only room for one divorced housewife on ATL and Sheree finally gave up that crown. NeNe agrees to get married and hopes for a fairytale wedding. It’s just like those stories I heard as a kid. Once Upon a Time, a stripper met an old dude who bought his way into her heart and vagina. Together they produced seven dwarves that were alienated from their parents and had abandonment issues.
NeNe and Gregg try yet again to reach Tiffany but it goes to her voicemail. By the way, did you know NeNe’s wedding date of June 22nd was symbolic? It took them 22 calls to get Tiffany on the phone. She leaves a message confirming their next meeting but NeNe is growing more and more concerned about the lack of planning so she recruits Marlo to go invitation shopping. NeNe doesn’t know how many invitations she’ll need, where the wedding will be, why she hired a wedding planner or why all of these cameras are following her. I know NeNe’s a big star but I don’t think any shows were taping during this time. Granted, she has a planner but if she’s not going to fire the chick at least start making a guest list. How hard is it to write “Anyone but Sheree, Lisa, DeShawn, Dwight, my aunt, my sisters, Curtis, my real father, Bryson, Phaedra, Kandi and everyone else I’ve ever met except the people who keep giving me TV jobs.” Scratch Sheree off the list; she may need to have the wedding at her chateau. Preferably it’ll take place inside the ice skating rink.
They begin picking out invitations and the invitation lady thinks Marlo is the planner which annoys NeNe because Tiffany is getting those New Normal checks. NeNe finds out that Tiffany has been sick. I’m guessing she’s been using this wedding as a reason to attend food tastings at fine White Castle restaurants and is paying the price. Marlo is getting fed up as well because the longer it takes the invitations to go out, there’s less of a chance that rich, White, bald men will show up. She tells NeNe to find a new planner.
Peter has Gregg and some guys over to promote Bar One. Peter immediately dismisses the extras so he can have a totally unprompted and unscripted conversation with Gregg. Gregg feels that God gave him a second chance since he wasn’t there for NeNe and proceeded to hurt her. Because he was unemployed and broke, he was devastated that NeNe had to carry him so he acted a fool. Although he says that their relationship is not about money, he says they do need to get more. Peter sees where this is going and says that he signed his prenup ASAP because the only thing he wanted was Cynthia – not her stuff. Gregg starts rambling about legislation.
NeNe wants to sign it now while they still like each other. The only thing I don’t get is that they barely seem to like each other. Their love/connection just doesn’t radiate through my screen. Maybe I need HD. Or beer goggles. Or HD beer goggles!