Hello again, Trashmiiators! Before we begin, I’d like to apologize for not being very responsive in the comments section. I’m still incredibly new to the site, and I’m not entirely sure how to comment using my official TTTV profile (I’m also pretty sure I posted a reply to the wrong comment for last week’s episode because I’m a GENIUS!). I promise to actually respond to you guys in the future and participate in a dialogue about this gloriously trashy show. With all of that out of the way, let’s begin!
Five Years Ago
Olivia greets Crazy Homeless Huck as she gets off the train. She’s going to dinner with her father and promises to bring Huck a doggy bag.
“Be a dear and bring me some caviar this time, would you, Olivia?”
Dinner with her dad is awkward because he’s pure evil and she hates him. They made an agreement that he’d pay off her student loans if she had dinner with him every week. Aww, how sweet! Despite the creepiness, her dad is actually trying. He asks her to try too and she’s like “Whateva pig, I can’t be bothered,”” but then she opens up when she realizes it means a lot to him. They go into some boring small talk, but it’s kind of sweet because Kerry Washington is a good actress.
After dinner, Olivia’s at the train station talking to Edison on the phone. He really wants to marry her, but we all know how she is: she can only love men-children who treat her like garbage. Suddenly Olivia’s getting mugged and gets thrown. Whoa! I didn’t see that coming. Crazy Homeless Huck comes to the rescue, and he’s beating the bejeezus out of those muggers while Olivia runs away.
“Give us the doggy bag, lady!”
Olivia’s running with Main Secret Service guy through a montage of what’s going on in the news with Janine. She gets her phone from MSSG and guess who she calls? Yeah, it’s Fitz.
They can’t come clean with the whole Janine thing now, so Fitz just does his whole freaky manipulation thing instead. He tells her he shot hoops with the Dali Lama and it made him horny for some Liv-Lovin’. He says she’s the only person he wants to talk to whenever anything happens, which I think is supposed to be romantic but is instead incredibly disturbing. Do you not have friends or family, Fitz?
“Olivia is my friends and family.”
Olivia tells Fitz that she’s going to defend Janine and he doesn’t really care because he never cares about anything that’s actually important. He tells her about his bizarre theory that there’s an alternate universe where he and Olivia are married with kids. Olivia sarcastically suggests that she makes jam in this fantasy and Fitz is completely on board with Jam-Making-Alterna-Olivia. Olivia tells him one last time that she’s going to attack him and the White House, but I think he just gets aroused.