What’s good, Trashgasmii! This week’s episode of Law & Order & Politics & Adultery concerns matters of national
sanctimony scrutiny security, specifically telephone communication of Lockhart/Gardner.
A room full of veal-penned slackers, including Awful Gabe from The Office, is now listening to every gripe and bellyache of the people at the firm, and tallying up how often they use incendiary phrases like “dirty bomb” and “socialized health care.” Basically, Lockhart/Gardner is wired for sound by the National Security Agency because they once defended a Middle Eastern guy.
The first voice we recognize is that of David Lee, lamenting that the 4th years are not talking or texting, so he can’t catch them poaching clients. Diane and Will blow him off, because when is he not complaining?
Alicia, Cary, Other Cary, and the rest of our not-important-enough-to-give-names-to 4th years are in their fancy new office digs distributing burner phones and talking about how excited they are to be playing grownup. Will interrupts via phone, asking Alicia to babysit Cary on a case for one of their computer-mogul clients, Neil Gross. Doesn’t wearing a sport coat over his hoodie defeat the purpose of the hoodie, which is to be relaxed?
Hoodie-coat is the CEO of ChumHum, which is like Google, but spunkier. And he’s not going to feel cared for if there’s not a partner at his meeting, so Alicia has to go. Yeah, he really sounds like a client who’s gonna throw in with a new splinter firm. He’s angry because the NSA subpoenaed him for user info – which he didn’t give them – but he can’t convince his users of that now because the NSA has him under a gag order. A gag order so he doesn’t tell anyone about the information that he may or may not have told the NSA. Got it? Oh, law, is there anything you can’t do?
So Alicia suggests he sue the NSA! Other Cary adds some stuff about expression of ideas, and Original Cary suggests that they go get Google and Yahoo to sign on to an amicus brief, which excites Hoodie-coat greatly.
So then the NSA slack-flunky who isn’t Gabe from The Office hears that L/G is suing them. “You and me?” Gabe asks, like the pick of the litter he is. And then Gabe forwards a clip of goats bleating, and he and his friend baaa back and forth.
In another glass-walled room, David Lee and Veronica Cavanaugh, Alicia’s mom, are “estate planning.” Is that what the older folks call it now? She calls him a carnivore and a jungle cat, and they purr at each other.
Alicia’s red jacket, GET IN MY CLOSET. So Alicia interrupts these two arthritic cougars, and then she is interrupted by the ringing of her burner phone, and she juggles both her phones right there in front of David. He looks both vindicated and constipated.