Last week, they went to Chicago… This week, they go to Chicago. I know, it’s so clever I can hardly stand it.
As an aside, Torrann isn’t in this episode much, but the few flashes I saw, she was smiling and working hard and talking… so I just wanted to mention that because I know I go hard on the kids when they piss me off.
TLC has decided not to post the full episodes on their website. I guess me and the two other people that were watching them overloaded their website.
Cambree’s crying. Again. (Yeah, so this one is getting on my nerves. She might be cute, but a crying cutie isn’t a cutie to me.) Alisha tells Youth Silver that they need to go to Chicago with their chins held high. I wonder if she means all three of each moms’ chins. She tells the team that there is another team that wants to beat them. Kylie can’t practice yet because of her knees. James is there to help Alisha out. They are going to focus on getting every count right and tight. Sadly they are struggling and Alisha and some girl get into it and start crying. James says they are really lazy.
Time for Weigh In #4. Ann goes first, but claims she ate three chocolate cream eggs and tacos. She gained. Andrea lost again. Chris didn’t do too well. He and Ann say Mandy’s scale is off. Andrea says she signed up for a 5k Mud Run. The Pork Chop Hillbilly Mud Run. Perfect. Ann says she doesn’t like mud, but she does like pork chops.
Over at Michelle’s mom’s house, Michelle is stopping by to get a protein shake. Michelle is not a fan. Her mom is gorgeous. Michelle says she just wants to beat Ann. She’s speaking for me too. Michelle then says she wants to have a heart-to-heart with Ann. What crap. Save the therapy for people that matter.
4 days to competition and Chanlee looks better than Youth Silver, so I’m opting to show pictures of her. Kylie still can’t practice, but she’s trying to learn it from the floor. The pyramids still looks like sht. Apparently Alisha and James changed them a little bit, so that may explain why the kids all look so fking confused.
Mandy, Ann, Andrea, and Chris are heading to the Mud Run. Ann is putting on her make-up and then needs to “take a pill” because she’s nervous about the dirt. She doesn’t like dirt. (Yep, dirt is bad, but she’s willing to fill her gullet with trash.) Ann has a fanny pack filled with her “anxiety medication” and her lip-gloss. Chris is totally excited. Mandy might want to kill some people. Ann stepped in her own sht. She called it a cow patty, but I’m assuming her toilet has seen worse.
Let the race begin… It does, everyone takes off, except for Ann… who is struggling with a “mountain of mud”. She can’t make it up and she starts crying because her friends left her with bloody knees. She is the ugliest crier ever. Andrea is laughing at her. I wish I were laughing, because that would mean I found this entertaining… but I don’t. I hate these moms. I respect them doing a 5k Mud Run… but they don’t really run it… they basically just ruin it. Ann manages to whine the entire rest of the way. And when she’s not whining, she’s crying… and then Andrea pees in the mud pit. That’s just vile. Seriously, that’s disgusting. I hope a flesh eating bacteria crawled up her hoo-haa. Next up is a big wall and it takes a village to get Ann up and over it. Truth be told, I was impressed that Ann stuck with it and got over the wall. Chris says he’s surprised that Ann finished the race. I love that he talks like he’s some specimen of physical health. Mandy is proud of them all and hoses Ann down.