Last week, NeNe confronted Gregg’s kids about their feelings towards her. We also uncovered Diana’s disdain for Marlo and her opportunistic ways. Let’s catch up with Gregg’s oldest, Damian/fifth member of Jodeci and see if there’s a resolution.
Damian is still throwing a long overdue tantrum while NeNe is inside and insists that their damn daddy is to damn blame for all their damn problems. I like when Southerners use “damn” instead of other curse words. It’s very biblical. NeNe says that she’s tried to make him have a relationship but Gregg is the one who doesn’t want one. Both of them are estranged from a lot of their own family so it’s probably a little of both. Apparently, Gregg told his daughter Katrina not to call NeNe anymore. They finally get Damian back into the house and Dr. Jeff starts loudly preaching things that were only effective in 1993 on a very special Richard Bey: I’m a Woman Trapped in a Man’s Body but I’ll get Over it for a Chance to Grab Hundreds of Dollars in that Money Vacuum Thingy.
Dr. Jeff keeps pushing them and peppering them with questions until one son, Dexter, says he doesn’t care that his dad didn’t call or eat chicken wings with him. I like him. He has his priorities straight.
Gregg doesn’t like the fact that he’s being blamed for dropping the ball on chicken time so he profoundly says that NeNe felt the kids didn’t like her and he knew it wasn’t true. Unfortunately, she embedded those feelings so deeply inside herself that even he, Gregg the NeNe Whisperer, couldn’t draw them out of her. After a beat, NeNe goes in on Gregg and says he f%$ked up and needs to accept that it’s his fault. Why is this woman trying to marry this fool again?! Seriously. That rich pizza dude from RHOA was creepy but at least she could have these arguments on helicopters.
NeNe wants to talk to Katrina who’s appeared to have taken a vow of silence. Katrina asks him where he’s been and says that she had no issue with NeNe. She wanted her father to be around emotionally but the only way she could get in touch with him was if she asked for money. He always came through but it was like a business relationship. I can relate, besides getting money from mine, so I actually feel for this girl. Absentee fathers are directly linked to sexual deviance.
Everyone ends up kissing and making up with Gregg resolving to be a better communicator. I think. I took a nap.
Next, NeNe meets with her realtor to see the wedding site. Her bridesmaids Machella and Lexis show up to take a look at the place. NeNe needs a wedding planner so she decides to meet with Tiffany who did Porsha and Kordell’s wedding. Didn’t we all see how that marriage turned out? NeNe wants an old Hollywood theme so basically she’ll enter through the back, sit in the balcony and watch all of her White guests eat up all her food and drink all her wine whilst she and Gregg jump over a broom to the sound of Sammy Davis Jr. sobbing.
NeNe wants all of her bridesmaids to wear white because it’s like their wedding since they’ll never get married. They laugh good-naturedly because they’re about to be famous enough to get a table right away at Gladys Knight’s Chicken & Waffles. Lexis tells NeNe that she isn’t too thrilled about Diana being in the wedding because she can kill the atmosphere. NeNe promises to soothe her concerns with a prime rib. The girls stress that they love Gregg and are happy to see them together because NeNe is much happier with him. I think they’d be happy to see NeNe with a scarecrow if it meant they’d be on her spinoff.
NeNe and Gregg meet with Tiffany, the wedding planner. NeNe hasn’t seen any sketches, plans or evidence that this woman is actually Tiffany Cook. Tiffany wants to discuss food but NeNe wants to talk about her vision for the whole wedding. She wants a wedding like “grown ups” minus Adam Sandler. The scene seems heavily edited but the point is NeNe isn’t feeling her. There are no sketches and then Tiffany starts drawing on a legal pad while saying that she had an idea for a circular or a square bar. That’s like saying you can have white or black flowers. I have to say, I’m not impressed either but why would she pick her?
Tiffany says that she’s been hired by lots of athletes because she’s over the top. NeNe explains that athlete wives aren’t fabulous, known women. They’re young girls on the come up; NeNe doesn’t slam dunk nor does she wear “cleaks”. I guess those are cleats that Gleeks wear? Tiffany says that everyone knows her and she’s damn good at what she does. These two just need to kiss and get it over with. Am I right?
Later for that, NeNe and her bridesmaids go to L.A. to get her dress. Most women include their mom and sisters she says but NeNe, who never holds grudges, is going with her ride or die chicks instead. Just as a heads up, she’s already threatened to drop a ride or die chick or two already. Marlo vows to have a good day and then go at it tomorrow. I wonder if it pains Andy to see Marlo on one of his shows since f-word gate.
The girls stay in a penthouse suite and Diana picks the chaise lounge in the corner like a pampered princess but then feels lonely when all the girls gather in the remaining seats on the other side. When she begins to complain and pout, Marlo tells her to stay there. I’ve got ten bucks on Diana; she looks like she could snap Marlo’s neck between her thighs.
Next up is Barracci for NeNe’s gown fitting. Marlo jumps into ho overdrive and begins flirting with him. He’s her type NeNe muses. He’s old, bald, rich and White. Marlo compliments his Ferragamo shoes, Burberry suit and what she hopes is a lack of critical judgment. Baracci’s dressed Mariah, Paula Abdul, and Beyonce. NeNe’s friend, Dawn, says that he designed one for Kim but he clarifies that it wasn’t “designed “for her. He refers to it as vintage but Marlo clarifies that it’s not over ten years old so it’s just used. I don’t know that it’s wise to kinda sorta insult a wealthy designer you’re trying to bang.
Baracci says he starts gowns at $15,000 but they can go for a lot more than that. NeNe, tactful as ever, says that her gown will cost a lot more; $58,000 to be exact. I don’t care what she does with her money but that seems a bit much for a gown that you’ll only wear once and the groom won’t even be able to see due to the blinding pain of having his genitals figuratively ripped off the moment he says “I do” to Very Rich NeNe. Anyway, NeNe debuts her gown…but it’s just a shell.
Brentt is playing basketball at the house, Gregg tries to play and fails miserably. It’s like the ball is his love & affection and the basket is his children.
Meanwhile, Gregg asks Brentt some scripted questions and Brentt gives some heartbreaking real answers. He misses NeNe when she goes away, she doesn’t cook anymore and he wants her at home. On the one hand, it’s great that NeNe is finally having success but you never get back these years as a parent. The fact that a teenage boy actually wants his mother around is remarkable so it’s kind of sad that she’s missing this. Gregg fixes things by offering to burn down the house together via cooking. Somebody please make sure Gregg has his MedicAlert anklet.
NeNe is getting her makeup done and Lexis takes the opportunity to ask why Diana has a problem with Marlo. At one point there was speculation about the extent of Diana and NeNe’s relationship because of how defensive Diana was when she crashed the Miami trip. I think it’s just all the HGH she’s been taking.
It’s time for din din and on the way out of the car, a photographer asks NeNe about her sister. NeNe, who never holds grudges, says that she doesn’t have any sisters and her bridesmaids are her sisters. They start dinner with a prayer which I find funny because NeNe has never come off as religious. I’m pretty sure she has a problem acknowledging that someone else created the universe and the phrase “bloop bloop”.
Lexis falls victim to reality TV when NeNe broadcasts her privately shared concerns about Diana not really being happy for NeNe and Gregg and Diana feeling a little too attached to NeNe if you know what I mean. Diana says that’s not true and she’s strictly dickly. Oh come on! Tell me that every episode doesn’t sound like a Jenny Jones episode.
Diana stupidly calls Marlo easy, accuses her of riding NeNe’s coattails and says that she’s always tweeting pictures of she and NeNe as soon as they sit down. She also takes all the green M&Ms out of the bag and never picks Diana during Duck, Duck, Goose. She also ends each slanderous statement with a terse “ok”. It’s giving me a nervous tic. So, I say it’s stupid for Diana to say that about Marlo because Diana had twins with a married, prominent attorney. She then used child support on tummy tucks etc…and as a result had her funds reduced. Marlo calls her out on treating NeNe like her man, accuses her of wanting to be with NeNe and sleeping with a married man. We never hear a response from Diana because next thing you know Diana sets her sights on arguing with Lexis again. NeNe is losing her mind and telling them to stop yelling at Mr. Chow’s because she has to go there to eat! I love that NeNe’s teeth were designed to only masticate fine restaurant foods.
Lexis calls Diana irrelevant, Diana accuses Lexis of showing up at she and NeNe’s job (they worked?) and Lexis says that NeNe doesn’t need her anymore. Lexis starts yelling that they’re all there for NeNe and it’s not just Diana that’s here for her. Things calm down as Dawn tells them that they won’t have these problems on her wedding day and they all toast to NeNe. Then, Lexis points at NeNe and says that she started it and should have never said anything. NeNe tells her not to “do it bitch”. It’s slightly sad to see Lexis lose steam when she realizes that her spot in the wedding may be at risk if she doesn’t bow down to Queen NeNe. I vote we refer to her as QueeNeNe.
Next week, Gregg is in pajamas (hurl!), NeNe wants a prenup and the wedding planner may be getting the old heave ho which is not to be confused with the old weave ho, Kim Zolciak. What’d you guys think? This show isn’t as horrendous as it could be, right? Right?