Hola Trasherinos!! Another week, another accent-fueled round of arguments! Last week, on the season premiere, everyone found out that Adriana has actually been married for five years, but she doesn’t feel married, so she doesn’t know why everyone is making such a big deal.
We begin this week in Joanna and Romain’s humble abode, where Romain is making Jo breakfast in bed. Well, he’s actually just cutting up some fruit, but beggars can’t be choosers, I guess.
Turns out he has an agenda. Last week, he surprised her with a brand new car, and this morning, he tells her he’s going to buy them a house! Fancy!! The conversation turns to their impending nuptials, most importantly, where they will get married. Joanna is pulling for LA, while Romain is wanting Miami.
Do I have to stop emailing the bartender if we get married?
Since Romain is in such a generous mood, Jo mentions that she asked her tagalong sister Marta to be the Maid of Honor. Her role is still up in the air, though, because she’s very busy “living with her boyfriend.” Really? How does that work? Well, hell. I’m busy living with my husband. I guess I should quit my job.
Well hell, if she does the laundry, she can be busy living with me.
Romain isn’t really thrilled with this development, because he thinks she wants to cut his babymaker off. In fact, he doesn’t even want her to attend the wedding. Jo smartly changes the subject to her dress. She doesn’t just want any dress (and since the wedding already happened, we know she looked like the lead flamenco dancer in a cheap Vegas show), and only plans on getting married once, so she wants it to be special.
Speaking of only getting married once, remember when Jo hacked into Romain’s email last season, and found a slew of elicit exchanges between him and a bartender? Jo does, and reminds him, pointedly. Man, these two. This whole exchange is a sleazy ‘I love you so much, remember how you fucked me over, and remember that time I was so pissed at you, I was ready to leave your ass for a lowly barkeep?” All while cooing and smooching and smiling.
In fact, after she reminds him of his foray into cheating territory, he chuckles and just blurts out, “Prenup.” I actually had to rewind it to make sure that’s what he said. It was a total non-sequitur, and wasn’t even included in a sentence. He just blurted it out. He’s a clever little minx, that Romain.
You can almost see the lightbulb go off over her head as she puts everything together. New car, new house, breakfast in bed… Unfortunately for Romain, Joanna isn’t as stupid as she looks. She launches at him, reminding him once again that he was the one who cheated via email, and she was the one who always wants to have sex, so if anyone is going to get a prenup, its going to be her! Romain doesn’t really give a shit, because he doesn’t want her money anyway.
We hop over to Marysol and Alexia, who are jogging in perfectly coordinated outfits. They take a break to give Marysol a reason to be relevant for a few minutes. They hem and haw about Mama Elsa and Frankie, and what wonderful caregivers they have been to their two loved ones. Alexia interviews that, of course, she is the closer to the front of the line for sainthood, because Frankie was much, much worse than Mama Elsa.