Hello Trashiis! We open right where we left off last week with Paul on April’s doorstep. Paul duhs that he faked his death. Before April can even process this, she gets a call saying that Lucy is on her way back home. April kicks Paul out before Lucy sees him. Good mom, April! Paul says he’ll text April his number. Kthnx, Paul, bai.
Back at Harry and Savvy’s place, Savvy is trying out yet another barrette. Is the costume designer for this show trying to bring the barrette back? Not that I have anything against a well-placed hair ornament. I’m wondering if it’s more of an attempt to juvenalize Savvy. Savvy invites Harry to her 6-week baby checkup. Is she really just six weeks along? Why this rush to tell everyone? I know plenty of women who don’t tell anyone they’re pregnant until they’re past the first trimester. Not-So-Savvy apparently has a problem keeping her mouth shut.
Joss and Alex are out to decorate Alex’s new apartment and have fundamental differences in their financial philosophies. Alex says she’s going for minimalistic, but Joss counters that she’s going for cheap. Alex says that she’s broke, to which Joss responds “that’s why God invented credit cards.” Methinks we’re getting a hint of why high-end realtor Joss is homeless. All of a sudden, they run into Sally and her new girl, the unfortunately named Story (“like a bedtime story.”) Blech. Story Like A Bedtime Story sizes up Joss before putting her arm possessively around Sally. Get over yourselves, ladies. Neither of you are that cute.
April has followed Paul to his motel (by magic? Or did she text him?). It seriously looks like the exact same motel that Miranda and Scotty have been staying at. Are they staying there together? Guess we’ll find out later, because April slaps Paul in face! Well, serves you right for pretending to be dead.
Savvy has a doctor’s appointment with her original doctor, but I don’t really care. Basically, “it’s starting to feel pretty real.” Moving on and back to April and Paul. Paul asks about Lucy and April wins my heart a bit by saying he has no right to ask how Lucy is doing. When he says he doesn’t know where to begin, she snaps “you faked your death, how about there?” Lol. Apparently, Paul had lost his job right before their last Christmas together. That really sucks. Unfortunately, Paul is an asshole who didn’t tell April that they were out of money and just let her spend their savings away. I do not understand why men on tv do this. Gentlemen, if you are reading this and you lose your job, show your wife some respect and tell her!
April is totally my girl by demanding he tell her about Miranda. He said it was a stupid fling that he tried to break off once he lost his job. Oh, I’m sure that’s comforting. Then he gives her the biggest pile of BS we’ve heard yet on this show. Apparently he cheated because April was too perfect and he was surprised she hadn’t left him already. Wow. What a complete and total douchenozzle. He said that Miranda threatened to tell April about the affair (too late), and he wanted to be able to leave April something. “So you left TWO women to mourn you and raise your children?” Oh, no. He’s been living with Miranda and Scotty this whole time!
Back at the boring Savvy storyline, everyone at Savvy’s office is treating her like she has leprosy. Probably because she wears daily barrettes. Possibly because her husband punched her co-worker in the face. Most likely it’s because she is horrible at her job. Moving on.