It’s true. They’re back. Seriously, MTV and Morgan Freeman thought it was in the public’s best interest that we continue our voyeuristic journey into the lives of these fked up gals and their questionable uteri. (Is that plural for uterus?)
Years ago, who of us would have thought that Chelsea would pull through as the stand out single mom? Not I, said the little red hen.
Anyway, this is late because in my excitement of the first episode, I watched it several times without typing a word; I just enjoyed Jainelle, Nathan (renamed Corky… please research if necessary), Slo Jo, Kail and her tears, Javi, Leah, Goggles/Wheels, Corey, Jeremy, Chelsea, Adam, Car Fires…. Just so much to remember and even more to learn. Lervvvvv.
We start with Chelsea would has bought a house that looks exactly like Hubba Hubba Houskabucks. It also appears that Chels is experimenting with a new lipstick color and me no likely. We head to her dad’s house and see that he owns 343 cars. Inside they both work hard on an Oscar nod to make sure we believe that he is NOT paying for her house. (We know, MTV is.)
Aubree is still insanely perfect and wants to go play with Grandma Rita, who I LOVE. As such, I will NOT make a comment about her on the swing. (We all know that I will. But I do love her.)
Chels and dad review all the reasons why Adam is the first man that I will call a dumb twat. He is so completely worthless. Some men need to accept the fact that kids are better off without them.
Over in whatever state that Kail moved to… (because she was determined to buy a house, move, get pregnant, get more custody, get married, etc), it appears that she’s “tired” and alone with the baby a lot because Isaac (Egghead) is in preschool and Javi works. Oh the fking horror of her life. She managed to whine and whine to get exactly what she wanted, and now she’s tired. I’m tried too. I barely got 12 hours of sleep last night. Cry for me!
Slo Jo even picks Egghead up at Javi’s parents’ house. That’s fairly cool. Egghead whines that he doesn’t want to leave his mom. Really? I would be like, “peace out”. Slo Jo offers to put Kail in the trunk. I’m not sure why we didn’t explore this in further detail. Javi doesn’t say much, so this allows Kail to yell at him after they all leave. Kail is spiraling team… it’s time to take bets… Kail, Jailnelle, and Leah… Sht’s gonna be fun.
Let me start by addressing Leah’s new hair. It’s like really old, Dolly Parton/squirrel with a Hawaiian flower. Good news, Leah is working at a local tanning salon to help with Goggles’ bills. I’m sure this $84 bi-weekly check is really making a dent. Why couldn’t she just let Jeremy go bust ass in New Mexico? Why does everyone want to spend time with their family. I love me some alone time.
Corey has the twins, so Leah and Jerm climb into Adalynn’s crib. Is that a thing? I never did that. They talk about money and Corey. Go sit on the couch you hillbillies. Leah constantly scratches her extensions. Jerm leaves for a couple days. I think he’s bringing a case of bed bugs with him. Some Motel 8 is going to be upset.
Jailnelle starts by telling us that being a teen mom has never been easy. I’m assuming she read this in a book while in jail, detoxing. She says since her mom has custody of Jace it’s really hard for her to raise him. Plus, she’s still married to Courtland, so it’s difficult for her to marry Corky and have his steroid demon spawn… or son… Whatever.