Hello Trash Talkers! Hope your hair is surviving Summer weather along with the many bugs that are overtaking our world as we know it. About the bugs, can you guess which stylist reminds me of a mosquito? Hint: ugly, annoying and useless to we humans.
That’s right. That would be Malaka, China’s ratchet sister. Her lazy ass was still hanging out at the salon and getting paid for it last week. This is the norm for Kim’s employees so it seemed like no big deal. Or is it?
Let’s try to remember last week’s episode and the name of this show first.
Kim can’t remember the show’s name so why should we?
Fresh off glamour of the “Titanic” shoot, Kim called Leah and screamed into her ear that one of the musical groups managed by Nick Cannon needed stylists for their video shoot. Kim bragged to Leah that Lisa and China would be doing it. Leah did not think China being involved was a good one. She did, however, decide to keep China on the payroll so she had no pass to bitch about it. Of course Leah would not agree! In her glazed eyes she is always right.
Yes, Leah. China is STILL your employee.
The good news was announced and China wasn’t so surprised. She was the laziest and skankiest so of course Kim would pick her. Lisa was actually gracious and planned to be as prepared as possible so she could kick ass along with her new “friend” China. “China” and “friend” should not be used in the same sentence. Why would I not be surprised if she had a very friendless Facebook page?
China at her best behavior.
They went to the shoot. China felt like styling one lonely head the entire day would be more than enough. The various scrawny coke heads, also known as actors, in the video did not. Lisa saw the writing on the wall that said “Wake up your career is going down the tubes thanks to this lazy bitch!” She called Kim. Kim was styling actual celebrity hair as opposed to the usual “guest appearance from ’90’s show only” client and would not get the phone.
Lisa called Angela to save the situation. Thanks to those two the job was completed, China had an anxiety attack and then pretended to quit.
Now to the latest episode!
China is still at the salon. Big surprise. She tells Terry today is a new day, hinting she may act like a NEW China. Here’s to hoping the new one isn’t worse than the old one.
Anything is an improvement over this, right?
Kim is taking conceit to a whole new level. Yep, Kim is super excited because she is ANTTBM (America’s Next Tabletop Book Model). She is bragging to anyone unfortunate enough to be found by Her Hairness that she is modeling for a tabletop book. Or something like that. It does involve photos of her. That must be the modeling gig, what else would she be posing for? Terry is the unfortunate soul who takes one for the team. Not only does he listen but he acts interested. The more she talks, the sleepier I get. Kim decides to get her possibly talented yet worn down mother style her. Hasn’t this woman suffered enough? She at least had Leah before, but now that she’s boarded the Crazyville train Jas has only her talent. She’s supposed to waste it on her dopish daughter? I’m hoping she shreds the few pieces of real hair that exist on Kim’s head. Then the weave. Instead she back combs and curls and voilà! Kim became a darker version of the women on Jerseylicious from neck up. Ridiculous as it looks it is still an improvement from the usual. Kim whines to Terry as he prays for sudden deafness. She finally leaves for the shoot.
Back at the salon it’s business as usual. Stylists lay around while hired pretend customers are waiting in the salon. The lucky customers who chose Terry and Anthony are actually being styled.
Naja is working on a special project of her own. She is trying to set the Guinness World’s record for the most manicures completed in 8 hours and has to do 50. A very big deal and should bring in lots of moolah for Naja and publicity for this hopeless salon. What kind of publicity remains unseen. Leah expresses some concerns that Naja planned this without her permission beforehand earlier in the week, then says how fabulous it will be for the salon. Now Naja is off her hit list and on her way to stardom.
Leah is off for the day and a very interesting looking man, who could be Buckwheat’s great grandson, has come to see China. This part is so clearly scripted but so amusing. The first tip off is that China is being extremely nice. Malaka comes over and asks Buckwheat’s ancestor where he is from. She is snickering in his face because she decides his ashy skin, gapped teeth and stank hair make him less attractive and fashionable than herself. Wrong!