Catfish Recap: 'Lauren and Derek' | TrashTalkTV

Catfish Recap: ‘Lauren and Derek’

Howdy again, TrashTalkers. Before we dive into this week’s Catfish I wanted to share with you something you can never unsee:

Nev's chest hair holy crap
Wowza

Apparently Nev is known for his furry chest but I would have never expected he was hiding all that in there. MiniPoor’s dad is similarly hairy and I’m sporting some hairy arms myself. We used to joke while I was pregnant that we were having Chewbacca, but MiniPoor doesn’t show any signs of looking like Nev. Which is especially good since she’s a girl.

This week we open with Max and Nev in a hotel room in Deltona, Florida, which just so happens to be where last episode’s catfish lives. I guess they send the last sucker home on their own and jump right into their next couple. That must be a lonely flight for those who have been catfished.

Nev has received an e-mail from Lauren. Lauren met Derek through MySpace eight long years ago when Lauren was 14 and Derek was 16. Lauren, now 21, lives in Texas with her young son Mason. It seems that Lauren and Derek have dated other people throughout the years and one of these relationships turned Lauren into a single mom. Well, that and the lack of birth control.

Lauren freaking out in the carMeet Lauren

Derek from myspace
Meet Derek, circa 2005 MySpace

Mason
Meet Mason – Cutie!

Derek has been really accepting of Mason and talks about them all being a family, but alas Derek and Lauren have never met. Lauren has tried to video chat with Derek but he always finds an excuse, leading Max to opine “He’s ready to take care of her kid but he’s not ready to video chat.” Good point, Max.

You Mason MeYou — Mason — Me…but I won’t video chat

Lauren was engaged to another guy after Mason’s birth. Derek was so upset by this news that he unfriended her on Facebook and they stopped talking. Eventually Lauren called off her engagement and set out to reconnect with Derek, who she feels is the love of her life. I imagine the ex-fiance and the baby daddy are thrilled this is all on MTV.

Max is convinced Lauren is batshit, given that she broke off her engagement because a guy who wouldn’t video chat with her deleted her from FB. They video chat with Lauren and she actually seems fairly sane and really sincere in her love for Derek. She wants a marriage with her best friend. Her family knows Derek exists, but they don’t know she’s never met him. Please don’t be a catfish, Derek. Be a trout. Or any other random sea creature.

Nev and Max head off to Texas to meet Lauren and Mason. Max is convinced this will end in heartache, while Nev thinks it may be okay. Lauren answers the door with Mason, who is adorable and really curious about the crew and all the cameras. We learn that Lauren’s mom died when Lauren had just turned 6 and her father was in the Navy so they moved around a lot. After all that, she really craves stability and permanence.

We also learn that once Lauren was within about five hours of Derek’s home in Maryland, but when she called and suggested they meet Derek said it wasn’t a good time. Yikes. The boys try and prep Lauren that he has to be hiding something and she needs to be prepared that this isn’t going to have a happy ending.

It looks like Max and Nev are staying at a quaint little bed and breakfast, instead of the usual nondescript motel. They begin their stalking/investigation with Derek’s FB page where they find a post talking about a $39 birdbath he bought (instead of a webcam). Their reverse image search turns up…nothing. They check out his friends who are all around his age and live in Maryland or went to high school in Maryland with him. Nev thinks Derek might be for real, but Max is still really pissed that he’s never tried to meet her.

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18 comments on “Catfish Recap: ‘Lauren and Derek’

  1. SuzieZee says:

    Honestly, that was great.

  2. Jay says:

    After we found out that Derek wasn’t the black dude, I fell into a deep sleep. I don’t watch catfish for happy endings

  3. CynTV CynTV says:

    Now you and I know this should have been a mess of nuclear proportions. I was so relieved when Derek actually walked out of his home.
    I also watched an interview on MTV where Niev asked them if they had sex yet. I would have punched him in his face. How tacky. And that boy needs some laser treatment.

  4. queensmove queensmove says:

    Kind of disappointed that it was actually Derek and not an old black guy.

    I say this episode was fake to give us at least one no lies happy ending. I mean for they met on myspace for cripes sake.

  5. NouveauPoor NouveauPoor says:

    These comments are so great, almost mirroring what I found to be the general internet response. It seems like almost 50/50 between people who thought this was awesome and people who thought that if there is no catfish it shouldn’t be on Catfish. Love!

    Side note: I just totally had a panic attack because I thought I’d misspelled Chewbacca. Thankfully my good child-of-the-80s name is still intact. Love you Chewie!

  6. Chicken Lips Chicken Lips says:

    My favorite part was when Max was all Debbie Downer to Nev’s Optimistic Ollie. God that Max is such a dick. I love it!

  7. NouveauPoor NouveauPoor says:

    Omg he so is, and I can’t get enough of it either! He so seems like he’d rather be any other place than where they are all the time and it cracks me up.

    Also, why does he still carry around that camera?!? It’s so silly, especially when you can see him with his camera and then the show cameras right behind him. Other people are filming, Max. You can stick to…well, being a dick.

  8. Chaosbutterfly says:

    Man, my grinchy heart was torn apart by this episode.
    On one hand, I thought Lauren was adorable (if slightly infantile) and I wasn’t looking forward to her getting hurt. Or not that much anyway. Less than I look forward to seeing other catfish get hurt. Slightly less.I also liked that she told Max to shut the fuck up in the car. He’s a dick and I like that, but it was just funny to see him be all taken aback.
    So when Derek turned out to be an good-looking honest dude with just a bad case of she’s so high above me, I was kind of happy for her.

    But then the happy music started playing and everyone was smiling and laughing and kissing and there was so much joy and deep inside, my soul began to scream for blood. Because as nice as a happy ending is, I’m not here for that.
    It’s much more fun when people get their feelings and hearts smashed into itty bitty pieces, and that’s what I feel Catfish is all about. Anything less is a lie.

    In a way, I guess we all were catfished. By Catfish. :(

  9. NouveauPoor NouveauPoor says:

    Yeah, there was no catfish. It’s not Catfish? it’s Catfish.

    Also, I knew going into watching that they ended up together so I think maybe it kind of ruined it for me? I thought they were darned cute myself. But still no catfishery.

  10. Kari says:

    After we found out Derek was who he said he was, all I kept thinking was WHO IS LAVOURNE!!! That was all I cared about!! I was not satisfied, either, with the “he’s trying to have the registration changed.”

  11. Chicken Lips Chicken Lips says:

    He probably carries that camera around so he can get himself a nice set of prints so he can put together the scrapbook of “I knew it was all lies – I TOLD YOU SO!” to give to Nev at the season wrap party.

    I’ll bet he was big pissy when it turned out Derek was real and R. LeVourne was an unexplained mystery…unless Derek is catfishing someone else using the fake profile R. LeVourne.

    Maybe next week Nev and Max will start the show in Baltimore, MD and go to the woman that is in an online relationship with R. LeVourne and then we’ll find out it is really Derek.

    Can you imagine how awesome that would be?!?!?!

  12. Moli says:

    They were too cute for words. Sigh I was catfished by the show.

  13. My question is: how old is Derek??? That might explain things! She is 22…hence only been “legal” for 4 years… Derek looks mid/late 20s! 18 year old chatting with a 14 year old? What if he is 30!? I’m curious!!

  14. How old was Derek when they started talking? She was 14….

  15. NouveauPoor NouveauPoor says:

    Derek is supposedly two years older than Lauren. He was 16 when they met.

  16. labowner says:

    Every now and then it is nice to have a happy ending.

  17. labowner says:

    Curious, can they just say Mr. Levourne’s name on TV or did they get his permission?

  18. DelusionsOfCandor says:

    I’m assuming they got his permission since we saw a photo too. Must have been a legit mistake and he thought it was funny?

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