Howdy again, TrashTalkers. Before we dive into this week’s Catfish I wanted to share with you something you can never unsee:
Apparently Nev is known for his furry chest but I would have never expected he was hiding all that in there. MiniPoor’s dad is similarly hairy and I’m sporting some hairy arms myself. We used to joke while I was pregnant that we were having Chewbacca, but MiniPoor doesn’t show any signs of looking like Nev. Which is especially good since she’s a girl.
This week we open with Max and Nev in a hotel room in Deltona, Florida, which just so happens to be where last episode’s catfish lives. I guess they send the last sucker home on their own and jump right into their next couple. That must be a lonely flight for those who have been catfished.
Nev has received an e-mail from Lauren. Lauren met Derek through MySpace eight long years ago when Lauren was 14 and Derek was 16. Lauren, now 21, lives in Texas with her young son Mason. It seems that Lauren and Derek have dated other people throughout the years and one of these relationships turned Lauren into a single mom. Well, that and the lack of birth control.
Derek has been really accepting of Mason and talks about them all being a family, but alas Derek and Lauren have never met. Lauren has tried to video chat with Derek but he always finds an excuse, leading Max to opine “He’s ready to take care of her kid but he’s not ready to video chat.” Good point, Max.
You — Mason — Me…but I won’t video chat
Lauren was engaged to another guy after Mason’s birth. Derek was so upset by this news that he unfriended her on Facebook and they stopped talking. Eventually Lauren called off her engagement and set out to reconnect with Derek, who she feels is the love of her life. I imagine the ex-fiance and the baby daddy are thrilled this is all on MTV.
Max is convinced Lauren is batshit, given that she broke off her engagement because a guy who wouldn’t video chat with her deleted her from FB. They video chat with Lauren and she actually seems fairly sane and really sincere in her love for Derek. She wants a marriage with her best friend. Her family knows Derek exists, but they don’t know she’s never met him. Please don’t be a catfish, Derek. Be a trout. Or any other random sea creature.
Nev and Max head off to Texas to meet Lauren and Mason. Max is convinced this will end in heartache, while Nev thinks it may be okay. Lauren answers the door with Mason, who is adorable and really curious about the crew and all the cameras. We learn that Lauren’s mom died when Lauren had just turned 6 and her father was in the Navy so they moved around a lot. After all that, she really craves stability and permanence.
We also learn that once Lauren was within about five hours of Derek’s home in Maryland, but when she called and suggested they meet Derek said it wasn’t a good time. Yikes. The boys try and prep Lauren that he has to be hiding something and she needs to be prepared that this isn’t going to have a happy ending.
It looks like Max and Nev are staying at a quaint little bed and breakfast, instead of the usual nondescript motel. They begin their stalking/investigation with Derek’s FB page where they find a post talking about a $39 birdbath he bought (instead of a webcam). Their reverse image search turns up…nothing. They check out his friends who are all around his age and live in Maryland or went to high school in Maryland with him. Nev thinks Derek might be for real, but Max is still really pissed that he’s never tried to meet her.
Then they reverse search Derek’s phone number and find it belongs to one R. Levourne. Mr. Levourne is married and has pictures of himself with kids. They also find a picture of Mr. Levourne on what may or may not be a “trike,” which is what “Derek” told Lauren he’d like to ride off into the sunset with her on, so that’s alarming. Also alarming? Mr. Levourne looks like this:
So everything looks legit except for “Derek”‘s phone number, which is apparently owned by Mr. Levourne. Nev still has hope that Derek is for real and just has a really big secret they need to ferret out, while Max is convinced Mr. Levourne has been masquerading as Derek this whole time. (Wouldn’t their voices sound a lot different?) They head to a park to meet Lauren and Mason and give her the news. Lauren tells them that Derek’s had the same phone number the whole time she’s known him and she doesn’t know Mr. Levourne.