Pages: 1 2

PopePhilly

Pope Philly

  • notwithoutmyTV

    Farmers… our new National Heros. The work 28 hours a day. The never take a vacation. They can’t, BY LAW, live anywhere near a Starbucks. Every shovelful of manure they sling feeds 16 people.

    Farmers make 911 first responders look like slothful, apathetic slackers.

  • l.e.boe

    Also, I never quite understood the ‘secret’ part. I mean, the guy is on the show trying to woo Andi, so it wasn’t going to be a huge surprise regardless of which idiot it turned out to be. Unless it was Chris Harrison, which was my bet. I was so let down.

  • l.e.boe

    Fabio wig!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!! Can’t get that image out of my head now Aunt Dorsey! Some people call them ‘secret admirers’ others refer to them as creepy stalkers. I’m with the latter, those letters were just disturbing and vomit inducing.

  • Aunt Dorsey

    They better get a batch of Susie Cream Cheese aspiring homemakers who hate vacations because farmers don’t get to take them. I second Itchy’s nomination for Chris as the next Bachelor, because letters from “Secret Admirers” are soooooooo gosh darn romantical. I just kept picturing him wearing an awesome Fabio wig while he penned them in his best Palmer method cursive.

  • itchy

    There’s nothing nice at all about Chris. He has obvious rage issues. Everytime he confronts anyone about anything he looks like he’s set to explode and go all ‘Hulk Smash.’

    So yes! Chris for next Bachelor!

  • Bookish

    L.e.boe: I agree with Marquel being the next Bachelor! If he were to bring cookies the first night, even better, but regardless, I’d volunteer for that season either way! Chris seems nice enough (but hen again, producers can make the public believe anything), but I don’t think it would be anything special with a season of farming and general rural-Americaness. I could only imagine the dunce-brained women that would sign up for that season and then possibly end up with their foot in their mouths or saying something equally dim-witted.

  • l.e.boe

    What happened to the ‘Night After we Boned’ videos that we are always forced to watch with the final three, where they declare their undying love?? Not that I really missed it much since they are always so freaking lame.. Just curious. Maybe the obvious budget cuts of this season meant they were axed. I agree with Itchy’s previous comment about Chris’s lack of attractiveness. I just don’t see it and don’t think he is Bachelor material. My vote is for Marquel and his plate of cookies. The only plus I see with Chris as bachelor is that whatever woman is willing to move to the arm pit of the USA by choice, has got to be over the top cray! I can say that because I was raised in Saskatchewan and it looks very similar to Iowa and I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

  • itchy

    Damn you, Reality Steve. And your spoilers.

  • notwithoutmyTV

    >>>Andi and Nick land on a private island where they will be spending the day. Nothing really exciting happens. There’s some swimming and heavy petting for a while.

    And then a tribe of headhunting warriors paddle up in outriggers made of stretched human hide and try to massacre Andi and Nick. Nick pathetically holds up his “Princess Andi and Her Magical Fake Love Journey” book as a defense, but the headhunters’ spears stab right through it. Andi is trussed up and carried back to the headhunters camp, where they do unspeakable things to her before snacking on her flesh, and adorning the chief headhunters’ door with her shrunken noggin.

    Then ABC takes the headhunters for a ride over their island in a helicopter. And Chris Harrison tries a piece of roasted Bachelorette.

    The end.

  • PopePhilly

    @itchy: I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but I think you’re right about why this season is so boring. There are moments where you can tell that Andi thinks this whole thing is just silly. Chris as The Bachelor is either going to be even more boring than this or the greatest thing ever (because of the ladies that he’s bound to attract).

    @Bookish: I wouldn’t be surprised if ABC gave Nick the book and just said, “Here, read this.” He’s really been their willing puppet this whole time. He was the one to “sneak off” for extra alone time with Andi and now the book.

    @Aunt Dorsey: Chris’ season of “The Bachelor” will simply be known as the “Merica!” season.

  • Aunt Dorsey

    I’m praying for a sister-wives twist on the “farming’ fer ‘merica” version of the Bachelor.

  • Bookish

    Nick’s “fairy tale” was the most ridiculous piece of BS I think I’ve ever seen on this show. I couldn’t decide if his younger sister Bella illustrated or if ABC had something to do with it.

  • itchy

    I hope you disinfected your friend’s computer before giving it back. It probably got pretty sticky with this season’s recap juice. Ick.

    For me, Josh has “blandly normal Jewish accountant type” written all over him. In permanent black magic marker. He probably has a menorah as his tramp stamp. No way he’s going to lose.

    I can only imagine the women who’ll sign up for a Chris the Farmer season of the Bachelor. They better be stout n’ sturdy lasses! And I can’t think of more boring Bachelor than he’ll be. Although it’s going to be hard to top how boring this season was. It was a HUGE mistake bringing on someone as intelligent as Andi is. Not saying she’s an Einstein, of course. But she’s a few notches up above the usual gene pool.