Hello Trash Talkers! Hope everyone is enjoying themselves and their hair. Summer weather turns mine into a miserable FRO and not even an exotic one at that. This Frizz Ease serum does not deliver! This is also true of the salon staff on our latest episode. First, let’s take a look at our last adventure before we move on to our latest and greatest mess at the Kim Kimble Salon.
Last episode Kim decided, with all of the brain cells in her home permed head , that she would do a Titanic inspired photo shoot to introduce her new line of wigs. They looked as crappy as the old ones but don’t tell her that. She was so desperate for praise she showed them to Malaka, who did not appreciate Kim speaking to her while she was busy doing nothing at the receptionist desk. No one really cared except when she said it would be on a cruise ship. May I add she yelled and screamed when she told them this news? No one thanked her for causing tinnitus. Terry was ready to get out of the freaking salon and the rest seemed a little excited. Could Kim actually be spending a little money on something that could actually benefit them as well as herself? Anthony pranced around, threw pixie dust everywhere until they found out that the ship would not be moving.
No Malaka, you are not worthy enough to come to this crap fest.
Usually I like my cruise ships to move. The fact that she thought they would be thrilled about the experience of standing on a cruise ship made me wonder if she had a clue on how much they made. Clueless Kim, please visit reality where other people are just as successful as you, if not more so. The photo shoot day arrived and she attempted to look fashionable as always and as always, she failed. Not only that, but she made a comment to Leah, who does more work in five minutes or less than Kim does in a week, about how SHE knew about fashion and Leah did not. Wrong! Neither one of you do. Scratch that. Leah might be a fashionista when she is not being worked like a dog by her sister. Kim was a complete bitch throughout the shoot, which was a complete nightmare. The makeup artists were clueless. Kim likes people who are no smarter than herself obviously. First she directed them to make a girl look frozen and they cover her with blue, blue and more blue. Kim was clearly not inspired by the Titanic, but the Smurfs.
Tell us how you really feel about Kim’s ideas China
Thankfully a decent makeup artist appeared and the model returned to her gorgeous self. Kim pretended to be entitled as she walked around the shoot giving bad directions. Nothing in the entire shoot resembled ANYTHING Titanic inspired but the cruise ship with no cruise. The wigs included Afros and cornrows that came out of somewhere but not the Titanic. Maybe she was inspired to portray how miserable and terrified the passengers looked on the Titanic, because that is how her models looked. Like when the people on the ship figured out they were about to die in 15 minutes or less. Except I am certain when anyone in the industry finds out they worked on this, they are going to wish they were dead already because their careers WILL be. When the shoot was over, Kim’s staff had the privilege of eating with Kim and all of her fried food glory. There was plenty of booze, which they earned from putting up with her all day long on a rickety boat.
Unfortunately booze does not bring out the best in all of us. Angela showed up and said she had no idea it was Kim’s celebratory dinner. Please. She claimed Anthony told her it was going to be her, Anthony and Dontay. Then Kim tried to stare her down with her token snooty expression while Angela gave her a smug smile. Kim, blinded by jealousy, fled, along with Jas and China. The bitch count lowered but did not disappear since Dontay, Anthony and Naja remained. Anthony casually shared that Angela was there because he needed a ride home. Who is writing this script?!!!! Make it a little believable people!
The always ratchet Naja ran her mouth as she had all night and Anthony splashed her with water. Always ready to show off exactly how stank she is, Naja threw a glass of red wine back. He did the same, splashed Dontay a little in the process and Dontay stood up and had a hissy fit. He said that he had WINE and WATER in his EYE. WE. UNDERSTAND. DONTAY. If the dumb ass didn’t know how to blink it wasn’t Anthony’s fault. Dontay left and on his way out said even the white people were trying to be ghetto. Oh my! That just might have been a tad racist. If that kind of comment left viewers ENRAGED then they may want to change the channel and leave the room. And the country. Otherwise they are going to live a life of misery. Naja turned to Anthony and said a word strong enough to be edited out. I bet it had to do with his sexuality but you might say he was called a WHORE. Or something entirely different. My vote goes to number one. Good one Naja. You are just as much of a ghetto/ratchet/stank bitch as I thought. Anthony left and once again it was Terry and Leah. Those two always get stuck with the mess and the check. Leah can’t even enjoy her buzz in peace.
Don’t even ask.
Finally! A new episode and a new pile of shizz. Anthony is in the salon bitching about the drama with the wine, Dontay and Naja. He forgets to bitch about the blue lipstick. Naja just sits squeezed into her laughable nail station and makes faces of denial and stupidity. Lisa comes in and Anthony decides he could use another friend to bitch to and spills to Lisa. It’s all about Anthony’s needs, of course. Lisa is not very surprised. Flashback to the first two episodes Lisa appeared in. Or any of the others. Naja’s edited word and wine tossing is in the same league as Lisa’s behavior up until now. No surprise that she isn’t disgusted. Lisa starts to give him some lecture and I start to tune her out before I fall asleep. I am not ready to hear some hypocritical bullish*t come out of her ashy face this early in the show. Meanwhile, Dontay gets a little airtime and I am happy to report he was not blinded by the single drop of wine he claimed hit his eye in the last episode during the wine fight. He is still sitting at his station with a ridiculous stick up his bum, however. Leah walks in and surprise! No Malaka.
Meet Kim’s new customer service manager
Leah walks over to the waiting room and welcomes the customers. Then she does a talking head and bitches about how Malaka bailed out on her so now she gets to play receptionist all day. She has too much to do! We know you do because your sister sure as hell doesn’t do anything. I thought Leah was an intelligent person, but this Malaka fiasco is proving me wrong. You are the manager and over human resources Leah. If you decide to keep that stank girl’s ugly bum on your salon floor and PAY her for it, you have no one to blame but yourself. Off to Kim, who is driving with her permit and calls Leah. She tells her that Nick Cannon’s group, the Wonder Boyz, need help on their latest video and she wants China and Lisa to do it. WHAT? I do hope my allergies affected my ability to hear that statement. China is embarrassing enough in a prison cell. You not only let her work for you, but you want her to represent your salon for you? Well at least China is a true reflection of Kim and all of her “professionalism.” There will be no false hopes about the salon once they meet her. I am not even going to go there about Lisa. Lisa and China are friends now. I do not think we can bear both of them being the stars in an episode, but it looks like we have no choice. Sorry guys. Leah and Kim give Lisa the heads up before the shoot that China did had an incident occur when she worked with Vivica Fox. Meaning she did a shit job and was slug slow, pissed off Vivica and got her ass as well as Naja’s kicked out. Then WHY are you two letting her go? Send Terry. Send ANYONE other than China. Looks like Leah is morphing into a more attractive version of Kim. Say it isn’t so!
Meet Leah, the new Kim.
Not much is up at the salon except Anthony flounces around dressed crazier than usual and he and Terry are doing hair. They are both working. Take note Leah and Kim. This is how it should look EVERY DAY with your entire staff, not just Terry. They really are talented and I would go to either one for my crowning glory, if they would evacuate the rest of the staff before I got there. Anthony’s customer is happy with her weaves and Terry’s, as always, is singing a tune. Back to the Wonder Boyz video. China is moving VERYYYYY SLOWWWLLLYY and she and Lisa are way behind. So much so she calls Kim for help. No answer. Kim is somewhere pretending to be important. Everyone else it at the salon so she calls Angela. Burn! I cannot wait until Kim hears about this. It was a good call, because people who are waiting on China are looking extremely PISSED. Not that she cares.
China is still on head one and I have already read “Gone with the Wind” from beginning to end
Things are looking pretty grim until Angela shows up. She springs into action and starts styling hair at lightening speed. Yay Angela! Always the ungrateful bitch, China is livid and gives Lisa the nasty side eye. She is beyond angry that Lisa would DARE to call someone who will actually WORK. How dare she! After yanking someone’s hair for an hour or so, she walks out. This woman is what, 30? Since when is this not moronic behavior past the age of 10? She has to be the dumbest person alive next to Kim. Lisa, who has been acting very calm and professional throughout the entire gig, runs after her and hops in the car to talk to her. NEWS FLASH! You have a job to do Lisa. The person who dropped everything to help YOU out is now alone picking up not only China’s slack, but yours as well. China is having an anxiety attack. She has an AHA! moment and realizes what a stank bitch she is, which scares her to death. I wish. Instead she remains bitter and clueless. She zooms off in her car after the chat and Lisa and Angela are left behind.
During all of this we have a REAL celebrity hair session we get to see. Kim is styling singer Zendaya Coleman for her new album cover. Zendaya is an adorable former Disney star whose show was almost enjoyable. A Disney star allowing her to do her hair makes Kim feel famous, so she is genuinely nice. She also does a great job. Not bad Kim. If only you would at least keep your mouth shut and ditch those rancid jeans.
Congrats Kim. You finally have a real celeb on your show.
We have a new day at the salon and Kim and Leah see Lisa and give her some very suspicious looks. Give me an effin break here ladies. As much as I have dogged Lisa in the past and rightfully so, she did the right thing by calling Angela. She explains what happened with China. Angela saved YOUR ass Kim. Kim’s ego is destroyed and she is angry. She and Leah do not sound all that grateful. It is more about Kim’s jealously towards Angela, although she backs up her bullsh*t by telling Lisa she fired Angela for a reason. Finally they come to the end of the conversation and Kim does add in a sort of thanks for taking care of it that which sounds really insincere. I am so sick of her. It gets even worse when China arrives. Kim pulls her aside and has a chat with her in the back. I do not see Leah, the HR woman and manager. Why is that? Why it must mean that is because China is a FRIEND and not an employee. She gives her this long talk about her career and how she is ruining it with her behavior. I am trying not to hurl. They both get teary and I become nauseous. The episode ends with China rolling her little suitcase out the door and Kim acting shocked that China doesn’t understand where she is coming from. Does China understand ANYTHING besides how to master the art of being a ratchet bitch and not working? I cannot take another episode with her. Unfortunately, next episode is about Naja being an unprofessional fool so it should be rather shocking! Right.
Like what you read? Floshizzle also recaps “Untying the Knot” and “Dance Moms”
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