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Toddlers & Tiaras | TrashTalkTV

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Toddlers & Tiaras MiniCap

Fun fact: we should probably start waving the white flags in front of China, because Trashmiis, it’s over for the American public if this episode of Toddlers & Tiaras is any indication of our idiocy. God knows we’ve already lost the one thing we’re good at – obesity – to MEXICO! Man, we really do like to outsource our best jobs!

It was cooch central for both kids and parents this week, and I was horrified – HORRIFIED that super-brat and head kid cooch Brenna has rejoined us as a bigger bitch than she was when she was first on this show. This kid is freakin’ horrible – what a complete waste of a sperm and egg. I am shocked her parents find this behavior acceptable – she screams, yells, demands things, calls them names and is just a horrible person. If only we could find some way to make her an organ donor so kids who deserved to live could.  Wait – I know! We could put a bag over her head! Something thick and plastic! But kudos to the camera operator who chased her down the hall as she was freaking out fearing that someone on the crew might have said something to the effect that she was not beautiful. Which is not in any way, shape or form what was said. Stupid kid.

Brenna is a brat

Bag her!

Next up is the stupidly named Sophia-Rayne whose mom says they are part Cherokee – NOBODY IS, you moron! Man, I cannot take it when someone is like, “I’m 1/32nd Navajo.” No, you are not. So the mom continues to be stupid through her interviews, saying S-R is dressing like a “Native American Indian” for the pageant – pick one, it’s either Native American or Indian. Otherwise you’re mixing dots with feathers and that just doesn’t work. But S-R is pretty cute despite her dumb mom.

The hilarious thing? The show does these “Fun Fact” pop-ups that show us mom clearly knows nothing about her “Native American” heritage. She’s just making shit up about Cherokees that she basically got off of Looney Tunes back in the 50s. And S-R’s costume is kind of Aztec meets Sante Fe style circa 1985. So smooooooooth.

And finally…crap! It’s Coach Cooch again, talking smack and being ripped on all over Facebook, boo hoo. Turns out that lemon-headed, klassless Pageant Should Die-rector Chasity has been trashing on her to the pageant world. Go figure. Hope someone finally smacks Chasity down…I mean, don’t shit where you eat, sister. She’s coaching some kid named Madison who has her own klassless mom who doesn’t mind a large amount of swearing around her kid. So it’s awesome all around this evening!

No spoiler alerts except that Brenna is even uglier on the inside and out than she was years ago. Like we didn’t see this coming. This kid is going to be a nightmare adult, assuming someone doesn’t accidentally push her off a bridge or she runs head first into a brick over and over and over again. But given her parents’ ages, she’ll probably just inherit a lot of money and be a monster until she drops dead and her 32 cats eat her face off and they have to identify her by her black soul.

Too much? Because I really hate this kid, she is horrible. Nothing a set of jumper cables, a wet towel and a group of Trashmiis couldn’t fix. I bet she could see us next Tuesday about that too.

Coach Cooch thinks because she’s young she can do whatever she wants…sadly, she also thinks she can because she’s “smart.” As if. But hey, if you stay in your little corner of the world, that might work for you. For a few more years. However, Madison gets pissy because she doesn’t know her routine, and ends up kicking Coach Cooch, who gets pissed and walks off. Serves her right.

Coach Cambrie makes a showing and I swear to God, every time she’s on Stacy and Clinton are in New York shuddering for reasons unknown. Please stop shopping at the strip club, it’s really aging you. But at least she’s smiling – guess the meds have finally kicked in.

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320 comments on “Toddlers & Tiaras MiniCap

  1. Kiwi_Bel says:

    I’m a little scared to voice my opinion on here now, but I’m going to anyway :-p. I kind of got the feeling that Brenna was play acting a lot of the time. She has this (warped) idea that she is a celebrity and an even more warped idea of how celebrities “should” behave and was just acting it out. I definitely thing she is spoilt and bratty, but I think most of it was part of a game she was playing in her head. I used to want to be famous when I was about her age and whenever we went on a boat I used to pretend I was being chased by the paparazzi and would go into full “diva” mode as part of the game. I got the same sense from her a few times. I’m not condoning the bad behaviour, but I think maybe she’s not as awful as she looked (and no, I’m not talking about editing!).

  2. DearCrabby says:

    HOLY SHITBALLS! 300 comments…recap will be up soon, waiting to be published!

    And let me assure you, it was NOT HEAVILY EDITED. Hugs!

  3. Clair Clair says:

    I can see that, Kiwi, but only at the beginning when her (grand)parents were bowing down to her. Later in the episode when she was running, screaming and throwing a shit-fit because of the “are you beautiful” question, I think her true colors were shining through.

  4. BedHeadJen BedHeadJen says:

    Lenny’s ;)

  5. ellemenop says:

    haha, do I know you off this forum?!

  6. Catty Noir says:

    As a perpetrator or a victim? Cause it can go either way, easily, at this point …

  7. Catty Noir says:

    Raise your hand if you have been personally victimized by Brenna. *raises hand*

  8. Catty Noir says:

    I’m with you – I thought it was odd. Unusual and not in a good way.

  9. nic says:

    Watching this show is the form of birth control. Who in their right mind would think this kind of behavior is appropriate. I don’t believe that child abuse is appropriate but in these cases these kids need a good kick in the ass as well as the parents!

  10. Lo says:

    Not sure who needs to be spanked first, Brenna or her parents! What a complete brat. 1 week in my house and she would think twice about popping off that smart mouth…. And her parents: complete idiots!

  11. melanie adams says:

    thank god i found this site!! i got kicked off of one site because the things i said about the children contestants was too cruel and over the top!! LMAO! apparently, they’ve never seen the parade horrid inbred trailer trash that shows up for these pageants! what i would like to know is WHAT pageant did that coach nikki ever win?? the hog wallow pig and cow feed pageant? what a conceited bitch with absolutely nothing to back it up! and that spawn of satan, brenna! i absolutely LOVE how she starts screaming at the top of her lungs when she doesn’t get her way, fantastic parenting! i NEVER ONCE heard her parents chastise her for any of the horrible embarrasing things that she did.sometimes i get so disgusted at the way these ppl behave, i have to watch something else. to use your children to fulfill something you are lacking is horrendous! CHILDREN ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE BORN WITH A JOB!!! oh yes, i get so SICK of people claiming to be part native american! you can bet that your ignorant racist ancestors were killing native americans, not sleeping with them. and wasn’t that native american costume(???) lovely? nothing like dressing your kid like a prostitot! that’s what we call the the children who’s parents dress them like they’re going to be working a pole for tips. though her costume wasn’t as bad as the mom who actually dressed her child like julia roberts in pretty woman! thanks for this awesome site! i just hope that at least some of the parents find their way here!

  12. melanie adams says:

    i think there may be a little truth to what you say. she did seem to be faking being demanding sometimes, like she thought she is supposed to act that way because she’s a STAR!! but it doesn’t take away from the fact that she is a total BRAT! her parents never once told her not to act a certain way or to stop SCREAMING. i was appalled at how they do whatever she says, even if she is calling them names! yeah, she’s gonna be a fun adult!

  13. katie says:

    my dad works with kids like that little bitch breena. and I mean ive seen some bad shit. I remember as a child about 2 or 3rd grade I went to the same school he taught at. I remember waslking into his class with kids punching him in the face, trying to stab him in the face with pencils, breaking his glasses. It was called the focus program. maybe this spoiled piece of shit needs to be in there. there are parents are typical parents of “focus” kids.

  14. dee says:

    Brennas poor dad is headed for an early grave. Obviously Brenna has taken cues from her whiney mom. (I could tell by her road rage driving incident) Dad, I know some really good matchmaker websites that would net you a caring, compassionate woman so u can leave those trash hound women behind you.

  15. citizens says:

    It’s All Fun And Cute. But, Honestly As A Mother, I CanNot Possibly See How A Mother Can Be Proud Of Her ChildS Obnoxious Behavior. Like Brenna, Im Embarrassed For Her And Her Mothers Stupidity!!!!!

  16. MarketingWiz says:

    Coach Cooch calling herself “smart” in the pageant world is like being the least retarded in special ed…kinda like head of the slow class.

  17. MarketingWiz says:

    There are a bunch of Melissa Gaskin results on Facebook search. Which one is she? Don’t see her or Bitchenna’s photo.

  18. Mary says:

    hey Brenna’s mom jsy wait and you eill find out what you did wrong with this child. Yiu have to have drespect your daughter does not have this.. She will fall hard when someone younger prettier than your daughter wins.. No one in Hollywood will his=re her because she is a ugly meanspirted , demanding child.. I really feel sorry for your family as this child will make your days full of hell. I am not jealious I feel very sorry for you.

  19. Mary says:

    she will also have no friends because no one is as beautiful as her

  20. Mary says:

    As much as i dislike this little girl I would never wish that on her

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