Howdy, Trashmii! Let’s get right into our ep, “Four Wives in Two RVs”. Spoiler alert: it’s a lie, there’s also a van.
We open with the Browns getting ready to make their road trip to Springfield, MO. Kody says the kids reacted positively when he announced the trip. The little kids, sure. They don’t know any better. The teens have been through this before, and are a tad less enthusiastic. Kody complains it’s hard for him to pack because his “stuff” is spread out among 4 homes. Ew! Oh, that’s not a euphemism? Well then, how’s about keeping an inventory? Oh, what am I saying? That’s just crazy talk.
Before they leave, Kody feels it’s imperative there be an MSWC business meeting, which Christine doesn’t attend. This isn’t so much a business meeting as a bitch session. Turns out Stan had said they’d be funded in 4-6 weeks, and it’s now 8 weeks. Kody says Stan’s group doesn’t have the money to hand to them. Probably because they can’t get any investors interested in this thrilling business opportunity. Robyn says perhaps they should go to another VC firm. None of them seem to realize if MSWC was seen as viable, they’d already have the money in hand. Sure, go ahead and make your super amateurish pitch somewhere else! I’d love to see that.
Back to trip planning. Kody pretends he learned lessons from the Nauvoo trip, and we see a montage of his uber-bitchiness on that trip. He thinks the answer is to make more “fun stops”. I think the answer is to not take this trip.
We see the RVs, and although they’re a decent size, why are there not 3 of them, instead of the van? Wouldn’t it – oh, the hell with it.
Kody informs the wives they’re going to be “hard out at 9” the next day. HAHAHAHAH Has any Brown, ever, been “hard out” at any specified time? Then we see scenes of the wives packing what looks like every item of food they own, into the RVs. It’s only a 4-day trip, and I’m pretty sure there are supermarkets in Springfield for the return trip. But no, they’re packing like they’re going on an old-timey cross-country wagon train expedition. With Pringles.
We “meet” Mindy, who is described as “Kody and Robyn’s niece”. So wouldn’t that make her Robyn’s niece, since Kody and Robyn aren’t related? Anyhoo, Mindy is going to drive the van. We see her a few times in the ep, and she never speaks. Is she a mime? Mindy doesn’t look all that old, either. I wonder if she has enough driving experience to go 1400 miles cross-country. Of course, Safety is Job Last over at the Brown compound.
It’s 8 AM, and the QM is ready to go. Well, whoop de doo. In interview, Kody and Christine talk about the older (college) kids not going, and that’s a shame because they’re a
“great resource” indentured servants. Kody says the attitudes of the teens can make or break the trip. How’s about modeling that attitude for them then, Mr. Cranky? Instead, we see Kody telling Garrison that Kody is the general and Garrison is the sergeant, so Garrison has to do what Kody says. Kody, under no circumstances do you ever answer a want ad for “Inspirational Speaker”, okay?
It’s now 25 minutes to go, and Christine is not ready. Now we see Kody yelling it’s “potty stop” time, and they’re leaving in 5 minutes. He then tells us “of course they’re [the sister wives] stressed. They have to travel with each other”. So much for the joys of polygamy! Then we see Kody bitching at the kids, QM saying hey, it’s “only” 9:40, and Christine moaning because without the college-age teens, she apparently can’t control her own children.
Day 1. Robyn says they have to go 348 miles that day. Their first “fun stop” is going to be a street corner in Winslow, Arizona. Kody says he and Janelle like the Eagles, and there’s a reference to Winslow in the song Take It Easy. Kody starts to quote the lyrics. I’m sure you remember them: “I’ve got 7 women on my mind. 4 that want to own me, 2 that want to stone me, one says she’s a friend of mine”. He says he has 14 women on his mind and when the wives protest, says he means his wives and daughters. Sure . . . Christine asks who wants to own him and stone him. Well, let’s see: QM = own, Robyn = own, Janelle = stone, Christine = probably stone (depends on her mood).