Catfish Recap: Solana and Elijah
Hello Trashtalkers! Max was correct this week when he said that hair would be a very important part of this episode. Overall I thought it was great; we had a VERY suspenseful meet up, a lot of Hot Topic inspired outfits and eye-shadows, big cat tattoos and a courthouse wedding! Let’s get right into it.
This week Max and Nev are helping Solana, an 18 year old girl from Ocean View, Delaware. Solana is really cute and sweet with a large wardrobe of funny print pants. You can tell she has been planning her Catfish outfits for weeks. She tells the guys that she has been talking to Elijah, a 20 year old emo kid in Minnesota off and on since she was 14 years old. They became boyfriend and girlfriend before his MySpace account was deleted and he completely disappeared for two years. Then, he messaged her on Facebook and they rekindled their romance. Obviously they don’t video chat or talk on the phone. If they did then we wouldn’t be here. To complicate things, Solana has a great boyfriend in Delaware named Danny. She wants to know if she should move on with her life or move forward with Elijah.
The guys video chat with Solana and recap what they know already. She says that Elijah doesn’t have a phone and Max immediately questions if she really believes that. Everybody has a phone Solana, even Antwane had his Obama phone. Solana’s boyfriend Danny says that he supports Solana and understands that she needs answers before committing fully… sad face. Max sees this as trouble and says this cyber courtship needs to end, and Solana pipes in, “Or start!”. Ohhh no. The guys are off to Delaware.
Solana works at a salon and I get the feeling she would get along really well with Chelsea Houska from Teen Mom 2. Max and Nev are off to investigate Elijah while Solana is “scared excited”. Investigation time! Who’s the guy in the pictures? The phone number that she once had for Elijah is registered to a woman named Denise. They immediately grasp on to the idea that Solana has been talking to a girl pretending to be the Elijah. When they look up Elijah’s Facebook profile, there are like 100 Facebook profiles with “(Elijah Prok)” after their name. Nev thinks that name and mop combo may just be the embodiment of all emo dudes on the Internet. Yes and no. They find his YouTube videos as well. He makes lots of scary screaming noises and then says to hit him up on Skype, yo! That’s pretty Gizmodo for someone who told Solana he doesn’t have a cell phone and can’t video chat. Red flags.
Nev and Max meet up with Solana to tell her that she has probably been talking to a girl this whole time. Oh, and Elijah Prok has a bunch of YouTube videos so that whole no video chatting thing he told you is a lie. Right at that moment Elijah sends her a text and Solana gets him to agree to meet up with her and the Catfish crew. Then he texts her “What if I am not what you imagined?”…Eek.
Solana puts on her galaxy pants and the crew is off the Minneapolis to meet up with Elijah! The next day in Savage, MN Solana can’t tell if she is having a heart attack or dying on the inside. Could be both. But now she is wearing Beetlejuice pants. They knock on Elijah’s door and a really creepy guy answers the door. He says that he’s Joshua, Elijah’s brother. This is his mothers house and invites the group in to meet Elijah. There is no apparent reason why Elijah would have not answered the door himself and everyone is put off.
Joshua says he’ll go get Elijah and heads into the basement. There is a very long pause and Max asks if that same guy is just going to come back up with stairs?? There is a lot of suspense and confusion about where everyone should stand and wait. All of a sudden Catfish is beginning to feel like Fatal Encounters on the Investigation Discovery channel. Solana knows what I am talking about.
Finally Elijah heads up from the basement. I REALLY thought that it was the exact same guy, Joshua, with a new flannel shirt, wig, and fake Claire’s piercings. That would have been awesome. But I guess this really is Elijah! Nev asks him if his hair is real, which is a legit question. Then they grill him on the videos and not having a cell phone and the Facebook profiles and it all checks out. And he just made that comment about not being what she imagined because some people think he looks taller in his YouTube videos than in real life LOL.
Solana and Elijah have some alone bonding time and compliment each other. They seem genuinely smitten. Later they all head to the skate park to watch Elijah. He approaches Solana with a GREAT idea; matching lion and lioness tattoos on their shoulders. Cause you know she’s independent and he’s attentive. I understand wanting to be a good sport, and I am a huge Big Cat Diary fan, but this sounds like such an awful idea. She could have counter idea’d him with like a Catfish tattoo on their ankles or stick figures hidden away somewhere. But she is down and they both end up ruining their skin forever with half of a shitty Lion King mural.
Back in the hotel room Solana says that while this meet up was great and all, she journaled until she realized that Danny, the boy back home, is the one that has taught her about true love. She heads back to Delaware with tears in her eyes and fake flowers in her hair. Two months later the guys video chat with Elijah and Solana. Solana and Elijah still talk daily but she MARRIED Danny. So if the point of this excursion was “to know if she should move on with her life or move forward with Elijah”, the answer was both? Always keep the door open for Elijah? What did you think about this episode? Was I the only person that thought Joshua and Elijah were the same person and the wig idea would have been brilliant??
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