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RHOC Recap: Lydia Shows Some Teeth... get it? | TrashTalkTV

RHOC Recap: Lydia Shows Some Teeth… get it?

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OMG, so much has happened, this week, Y’all!  First – no more Gasm!!!  I say fuck’em.  If they can’t recognize genius (GENIUS!) when they see it, they can have their webspace and their little dog, too.  I know this Wicked Witch was only ever in it for Flipit and you guys, so where those two things go, I shall follow.  And in OC!  My goodness!  There are fakeups all over the damn place.  Heather started to pretend to like Alexis, Tamra is still pretending to like Alexis, and Lydia is… not pretending to like anyone.  Which is weird for this franchise, but I’m sure she’ll stop by the time her next season rolls around and we’ll get to see the crazy we all know is rolling around somewhere in that ball of teeth and eyes she calls a head.

Oh, and according to her blog, Alexis apparently rolled out some new Maxi dresses from Alexis couture, but damned if I couldn’t find them on her website.   In all fairness, I may have been distracted by this…

alexis_couture

Buy now! Let’s get going!  We open this week with Lydia playing party elf and getting everyone together for a salsa dance.  I predict there will be exactly 45 seconds of actual dancing shown in that segment.  Confirmation to follow.  But, Party Elf has hit a snag on her way to the Caliente Kingdom – Heather doesn’t want to come if Alexis is going to be there.  To be fair, that’s not what Heather said.  She weaves herself an impressive web of passive aggression by basically saying that SHE doesn’t mind going if Alexis is going to be there, but she’s fairly certain her presence WILL cause something to happen.  I.e.  I can control myself, but Mrs. Trampoline Store is going to start pointing fingers at me and them I’m gonna have to glaze, and it’s just not gonna be good.

But, Lydia calls her and will not be deterred in her impossible and fruitless mission of making everyone on this show friends, so she bully-whines Heather into having lunch with Alexis to sort things out or whatever fakery is needed for these two women to be civil to each other for one night at a party with enough people in attendance for them to avoid each other completely.  I love that Lydia’s totally making her own bed right now.  She interviews that she loves being the friendship whisperer and that she’s a “GENIUUUS!”  Please.  In a few months, she’s going to get as sick of Alexis as we all did in two minutes, but she’ll have to be a massive hypocrite if she wants anyone to listen to her vent.  Misery, here she comes.

LYDIA_CHEESEBURGER Just shut your mouth and let them hate her.  Trust, it’s the right decision for everyone involved. Poor Heather begrudgingly agrees to the meet, I’m betting because Terry made a joke about her “career” that week and she needs an ego pick me up.  Hey, that’s the only reason I pay any attention to Alexis.  Hell, that’s the only reason I pay any attention to ANY of this.  Except Lisa Vanderpump.  Lisa Vanderpump makes me want to be a better woman.

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29 comments on “RHOC Recap: Lydia Shows Some Teeth… get it?

  1. LAC says:

    Thank you for the funny recap!

    I swear, Vicki’s taint reaches everyone, doesn’t it? C’mon Lydia! Do not start down that path or you will find yourself sitting alone in your keebler elf house, wondering why no one will call you. That cheeseburgergate shit really did not need to go that far. Slade is an ass, but by the way Vicki Leno’s face was perked up while pretending not to listen, some of this is about Vicki’s yapping.

    Speaking of yapping, ole Lauri is becoming the Faye Resnik of this season. And what quality friends her daughters have. “She does questionable things for money” – unlike, latching your hooves onto the first rich guy you can find and pretending that you are the Brady Bunch within a week. Vicki deserves some karma, but Lauri delivering it is real rich.

    Alexis and Heather’s “agree to disagree” moment was the best passive aggressive argument I have heard in a while. But if it gets more of Alexis without Chimbo, then tight smiles and dead eyes, it is!

    I’m sorry but Gretchen doesn’t bother me – she is a dummy, but I would rather hang out with her then Piddle and Feral – their idea of fun, after several bottles of wine, is “lord of flies” type – where you would wake up tied to the signpost over a freeway and Vicki would be telling you to “get over it already”.

  2. honeybunny says:

    Brooks probably used the Viagra that Vicki paid for when he had coitous with the “stripper slash porn star”.

    hb

  3. misskris4 says:

    Besides the “cheeseburgergate” I mentioned in the minicap, my biggest takeaway from this episode is how manipulative Tamra is. I mean, I knew before, but this episode really showed her machinations to keep everyone blowing smoke up her ass while kissing it. Her only redeeming quality is she actually looks slightly uncomfortable while pulling her strings. But that’s probably just her trying to keep up with her own game and making sure every bit of drama works out in her favor.

    Are we halfway through this season yet? At this point I’m really looking forward more to the reunion than anymore episodes. But the 100th next week might be fun.

  4. Southern Twang says:

    Cheeseburgergate has the potential to make for some great reunion material.

  5. I don’t feel sorry for Gretchen, because she becamce “besties” (or at least in her mind she thinks they are besties) with someone that talked shiz about her from the first time they met. So pot meet kettle!

  6. Honeybee says:

    I missed this episode, but the recap is more than enough.

    Old Tamara is resurfacing and I am beginning to remember why I disliked her. I love her snark, but she is sneaking around and planting little drama bombs everywhere. Like becoming friends with Gretchen behind Vicki’s back (last season). I now believe that she wanted someone to bitch to about Brooks…and she knew she would find a willing ally in Gretchen. It was also a way to hurt Vicki in a passive-aggressive way. It allowed her to look like the “bigger person” in terms of letting shit go and making Vicki look like a child (which she is).

    Now that she is bored with Gretchen, she is slowly making up with Alexis and not telling Gretchen…and now talking about Gretchen to Vicki, a person Tamara KNOWS doesn’t like her…just like she did to Vicki previously. Also there were pics of Tam’s wedding recently and if you look, it’s obvious that Vicki is the Maid of Honor and it looks like Heather is a Bridesmaid too. But Gretchen, Alexis and Lydia are guests.

    It seems that Tammy Sue can’t have lots of girlfriends at the same time.

  7. yummy says:

    YES to Slicki! The name is perfect, and what a train wreck it would be.

  8. carla says:

    So funny! Hilarious!

    Seeing the reruns this week, I kinda miss the old RHOC. There was more realness and comedy in their interactions, as opposed to trashiness and meanness.

    What about the little aside at the salsa party between Slade and Terry about how Lauri and Gretchen are in bed???

    And why are the snobby and superior Heather and Terry so interested in sleazy Brooks, of all people? The getting drinks together, the last minute plea to come to the party…?? That is an odd dynamic.

  9. labowner says:

    Ugh me and my stupidity.

    Agree a recast is definitely necessary or leave the OC behind and slide on down the coast towards San Diego.

    Heather – What is this “you don’t know the history” crap. You have been around one season longer than Lydia and all you did was form an opinion based on what Tamra told you. You are just as trashy, bitchy, back stabby, and gabby as Tamra. Only difference is the size of the bank account of the men you screw.

    I was speaking to a transient man when I lived in Chicago and we were discussing the differences between living around Chicago and living in the south. He preferred the south to the north because in the south you knew who the racists were. At least I know what I am getting from Tamra. Heather is a rat.

    Gretchen, sorry I am not rooting for you to have children unless you find another man. Slade has proven time and again what a horrible excuse for a father he is. Oh and Vicki and Slade dancing is what most people called being mature adults. You should try it instead of keeping tabs without a pen and pad. Your brain won’t hurt so much. Oh and the straining of your neck to listen in on Tamra and Alexis (or editing) oh goodness how sad.

    Tamra, yikes. Was that Eddie’s outfit you squeezed into? I hope you are not an advertisement for your gym. Hard to be around someone that wants to make it all about them. You and Gretchen are good to keep at arms length.

    Lydia good for you. Although I wish there was more “meat” behind the issue. Amandalee27 I think Lydia was trying to point out Slade wouldn’t have said something to an overweight person.

    Alexis you seemed to have fun without Jim. See, it is possible.

    Have to ask – did we lose Chickbomb? No Jersey nothing?

  10. Annie says:

    Holy shit, that picture of Alexis “Couture” looks more like Alexis “Count Dracula meets Stevie Nicks”. Who the hell would want to wear that thing? I’m serious…WHO?

    Gretchen is looking more and more like Carol Channing everyday…

    Also, YES the Brooks entrance was freakin’ weird. He’s either stalking Vicki, or she invited him then played the “Ohhh what are you doing here?” thing. How else would he know when or where the party was? And he shows up with flowers and champagne like Vicki’s competing for the “Miss Salsa Queen of Orange County” pageant?! WEIRD. Also, is it just me or is he extra douchy and creepy this season? I mean before he was a douche, but now he’s off the charts, like he’s trying to prove something, or these are his TRUE colors. I’m getting an abusive vibe from him.

  11. thisbuggs4u says:

    Annie, I believe that Terry called and invited Broooks.

    Lydia looks like she eats a cheeseburger once a month! I know I have no room to talk, but dayum, it was kind of a joke, and it was kind of funny…But Slade needs to stfu when he is around these hoes. I am glad that Gretchen doesn’t put up with that shit from Slade. We did see how mad she was at open mic night…

  12. ememe says:

    1. The pictures of Alexis Couture are Ahh-mazing. In the first photo she looks as though she’s about to throw up. Hilarious!

    2. Lydia’s drama seems forced. Obviously a note was received from Andy that a sane, rational cast mate does NOT work for this show. However, as a nursing mother I can understand where Lydia is coming from about her insecurities around her weight/body, and the changes in hormones from stopping breastfeeding. Kind of a hard thing to understand, but I’m weaning my baby and I know I’m a complete crazy person because of the hormones. Lydia receives a pass from me regarding the cheeseburger comment. She didn’t really need to get on Slade about the Vicki/Miss Piggy thing, and that seemed to take it too far.

    Great recap! I’ve been a long time reader, but this is my first comment for RHOC!

  13. classy drunk classy drunk says:

    I get it Lydia. As a naturally slim girl it does hurt when people say things like you need to eat a cheeseburger. But as I slim girl I’ve just learned to let that roll off my back. Now you only get one pass, the second time you do it I’ll have to rip you a new one.

    • Gypsy Gypsy says:

      Cosign on this Classy. I don’t like when people sabotage my efforts either. It’s almost just as bad. I work out hard and I don’t pass judgement on others who chose not to do what I do so…back off.

  14. Gypsy Gypsy says:

    Has anyone else noticed that Brooks seems to wear the exact same outfit in every episode? Its like he’s homeless and they recycle his uniform when he appears on the show.

    I don’t hate Gretchen either but DAYM can she ruin a the English language like none other.

    Also her new lips look even worse than last years. Someone needs a plastic surgery intervention.

    Oh and FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Vicki!

    I miss my Avatar of Joanna Station III, sad horns.

    • Gypsy Gypsy says:

      Oh and the blingy flowers have been a ‘thing’ in New England at least since ’09. I guess it finally. made its way west?

  15. Annie says:

    I did miss that part!!!! Grrrr, I need to pay more attention :) Thanks for clearing that up, guys!

  16. SayWhat says:

    I don’t think Lydia went too overboard being offended… I mean Slade oozes slime and then Lydia doesn’t even like Gretchen and she’s the one bringing a douche who can’t read any body language and or care when he hurts someone’s feelings. Like I know when I get around creepy people (I attract them!!! I have bad karma or something!!) and they go overboard with a compliment I shut them down harder than I would with other people. And add on top of all that horrible chemistry his whispering “we should call her cheeseburger” about Ms. Why Are You Talking About Me Behind My Back When I Am A Foot Away And Can Hear You. Or maybe I just hate Slade. GAH! Sorry for the rambling! I just hate how condescending Slade was about it. Like just because that’s his personality it should be okay. Okay, so you’re naturally a jerk! And it’s STILL offensive!

  17. SayWhat – I agree with every single thing you just said. ….

    Great recap!

  18. Southern Twang says:

    While I am no fan of Slade, Icky VIcki and Lydia are fixing to be on my last nerve. Lydia is a shit stirrer in disguise. Vicki used to be fun to be around, so it appears.

    I’ve been watching the marathon these past few days, Tamra really brings out the mean girl in everybody. She and Vicki are in a co-dependent mean girl relationship. Vicki and Tamra bash the hell out of everyone else for doing the same things they are doing.

    • classy drunk classy drunk says:

      “fixing to be on my last nerve” definitely a southerner with that phrase. :)

    • reedeeda says:

      I agree about Vicki. Gawd, I seriously can NOT stand her. I was never a fan – she always rubbed me the wrong way, but now I consider her one of the most repulsive human beings on television. She makes my skin crawl. I wish someone would take her down. I want to punch my tv every time her crap mug pops up on it. Uuuuugggggggggghhhh.

  19. sarah says:

    Slade is such a jerk. If you hurt someone’s feelings…even without meaning to, just apologize. It’s so easy. and if you didn’t mean to hurt their feelings, why be such an argumentative ass about it?

    And it makes me laugh out loud that this is all coming from a guy who almost cried on camera when Gretchen called him Tubba Wubba. What a dick.

  20. baffled1 says:

    They’re all awful. I can’t remember the exact wording Heather used with Alexis, but it was so pretentious I laughed out loud. Something about “elegantly” declining the salsa party so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable for Alexis. Who talks like that?? And I agree that Lydia is a pot stirrer. I say that every week? “So how are you? The last time you two were together you called her a bitch.”. Really?? And y’all can call Gretchen self-centered (and it’s true!) but there isn’t a sponge in the world that could rival the self-absorption of Vicki.

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