Princesses Long Island Recap: Hot Ass Messes
Last week, we met damaged Casey who couldn’t get over having her high school boyfriend stolen by Erica. Ashlee freaked out over a stain on her bed and Chanel tried and failed to give these girls some religion. Oh, Amanda and Jeff continued to be weirdos and Joey was pretty normal.
This week, we pick up at the Casey and Erica fight. Casey decides to go outside and ruin what’s left of Erica’s sanity. Casey tells her that she lives with what Erica did every day. After all, Erica is known for boyfriend stealing sluttery but Erica says that she is not. Last week, I meant to mention that I suspected some abuse or molestation but it was in the comments. It’s possible that she drinks, smokes, does drugs and bangs like a sailor as a result of some genetic disposition but it’s not out of the question to think that some of this destructive behavior is linked to something deeper. Casey doesn’t want to be phony because deep down inside she wants to punch her in the effin’ face. Her desire is actually closer to the surface than she thinks. Erica apologizes for not buying the last Delorean on eBay and for making Casey waste her Fashion Bug prom dress but she has changed in so many ways.
“Now I learn a guy’s last name before I go down on him.” Casey says that she still sees erratic, irresponsible behavior. Guess what y’all? Erica breaks it down and says that Casey isn’t her best friend and doesn’t know what she’s been through. OMG, why can’t these two just pinky swear to get along, trade Tamagotchi and move on with their lives. Best friend? Don’t know what I’ve been through? This whole thing sounds like a 1994 episode of Jenny Jones. Casey doesn’t want to know what she’s been through and doesn’t care. After all, Casey’s parents are divorced and after Erica stole her man, it made her question if every man leaves the woman. Erica realizes that sorry isn’t good enough. Casey acknowledges as much and is done with the conversation.
“Congratulations. You’ve finally made a decision we can both get behind.” Did you notice that Casey took her headband off as she walked into the kitchen? I think it’s some kind of Jewish super power source or maybe it’s what keeps Casey and Chanel’s hair blonde. Either way, I’m buying one this weekend.
Casey struts back into the house now that she has the comfort of knowing Erica is one English class away from composing a thorough suicide note. Erica ambles in apologizing for being a dickhead in high school or even now and for who she was or is. I hope they don”t let her take a bath alone tonight.