Ok, all of these episodes are running together. Kind of like when I binged watched “Breaking Bad” except that show was good, and it taught me how to make Meth. This show just makes me want to TAKE Meth. Last time, Jackie and Meghan were both asked to leave and Kimberley was asked to the Crown Suite. Rose, Kimberley, Krazy Kelley and Karina remain. So far they all believe that Not Harry is Prince Harry.
It’s raining in England. Hmmm, that’s weird, that almost never happens every
other day. Not Harry awakens in his suite and the girls wake up and start getting their faces on. Not Harry has invited the ladies to a Country Spa and each of them will have some private time with him throughout the day.
Kimberley will have a private dinner with Sir in his luxury tree house. The girls go to their own luxury tree house (that they appear to be sharing) and it’s lovely and MisRed is jealous.
Karina is first up for private time with Not Harry. She says she is completely falling in love with him. They meet up in a pool and kiss, like full on make out.
He is very attracted to her, but he worries that she might not like him for him. She thinks she would do anything for him- and she’s happy she feels that. He is starting to feel the pressure because clearly he’s not a Prince in real life and he can’t sustain the lifestyle she would like. Plus there’s that pesky bit about how she’s still in love with her ex, but MisRed digresses.
Kelley joins Not Harry in his tree house for a talk. She really wants to kiss him and it would be the final signoff as to whether or not they could be together. ???? Has this girl every HAD a relationship? Honey, check out his bathroom… if you can stomach the swampery, THAT’S the final signoff of whether or not you could be together. Jesus, why is MisRed the brains behind this operation? Not Harry asks if she could ask him any question, what would it be? She says she want to know if she can keep his blood in a vial around her neck. I joke, I kid. She says she wants to know if he’s “good at kissing?” Ok, that’s something a fifth grader would say.
Not Harry says, on paper, Kelley is everything she wants, but he’s not sure is there is a romantic connection.
Plus on those papers it probably says she is an escaped mental patient and there is an APB out for her… They hug.
It’s the least romantic hug I’ve ever seen.
Rose meets up with Not Harry next, she thinks it might be her last opportunity to show her feelings for him.
Harry says, since their first date she has faded into the background a little. Not Harry says he feels like he should have paid more attention to her after their date, and she wants to get back in his good graces. He thinks maybe he overlooked her, he asks if she thinks she could handle the pressures that come with his lifestyle. She has felt lost in her past -7 year-relationship, like no one ever knew the real her and she doesn’t want to feel that way again. Not Harry worries that she might be pissed if he finds out the truth. Right because we all know Kate Middleton personally, her personal diaries are published in the Sunday Sport every week, along with topless photos of the Queen.
Kimberley is the last to spend time with Not Harry and she joins him for dinner. Not Harry thinks Kimberly might not have completely let herself go with him yet. He wants her to open up. He asks if she’s ever had a bad breakup- she has. She was closed off and it takes her awhile to open up. She has hoped she would find someone to treat her the ways she should be treated. They retreat to the hot tub. Hot Tubs gross MisRed out.
Not Harry feels so badly that he’s lying to her. They make out in the hot tub. Harry was very surprised by his date with Kimberley and he doesn’t want to hurt her.
Back at the Manor, Kingsley tells them that in honor of Sir’s birthday they are going to have a Toga Party. Oh good. Nothing cliché about a Toga Party.
Sir comes out in his bright red toga.
Karina is excited to party the way Prince Harry parties. Rose says “This is a classy toga party and I love classy.”
They are going to play “toga twister.” It’s creepy. Kelley is determined to show him her sexy side and she, basically, finds a way to shove her beaver in his face.
They play suck and blow like any typical 13 year olds at a Bar Mitzvah in rural New Jersey.
Next they will play a kissing game. And then they will play “I Never” and “Spin the Bottle.” Not Harry is blind folded and he has to kiss each girl. Karina is first.
They make out. Kelley is second and jams her tongue in her mouth… ew.
This, I may remind you is, their FIRST KISS. The girls think it was a very aggressive first kiss. Kimberley is up next… Kelley thinks Kimberley’s kiss is boring.
Rose is last … Kelley thinks that she sucks at kissing.
Kingsley asks his opinion as to who was the best kisser. A B C or D? He chooses A. Karina.