Big Brother House: Urban is the New Black
Pictures of this year’s house have been spreading around the net this morning. Let’s let production designer Scott Storey explain it for us: “This year’s theme is urban treehouse.” The network “wanted it to feel urban, young and playful, and urban treehouse seemed like a perfect place to start.”
Um, Scott. You said “urban” three times. I think that means CBS is cool with black people, so get off their urban backs m’kay? THEY’RE NOT RACIST! We get it, guys. You should have just re-created the set of the Cosby Show and called it a day.
In all seriousness, though, let’s hope a new house will clear out that nasty Aryan, Gina Marie and Amanda energy. The mattresses are probably bolted to the bed frames this year. Let’s check out some pics, stolen from The Hollywood Reporter‘s page!
Pretty confusing. If this Big Brother cast has as many brain cells as most, they will have trouble figuring out which are the trees they can pee on. Expect a lot of flies.
We’re dealing with the elements this season, hence the fire room. Representing the painful scabs passed around on the shared toilet seat. Consider this bedroom a warning, HouseGuests.
The cave room: making the Neanderthals feel at home. AW! Watch out for clubs, ladies!
They’re calling this the Hive Room, because it’s where people talk strategy. I call it the “Plywood from Home Depot and Pillows From Ikea Because This Show Has a Budget of Five Dollars Room.” Admittedly, my name’s not as catchy as CBS’.
The Blue Bathroom: also known as a different version of the place Lane masturbated I mean cleaned his ears on the internet.
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Want more RonnieK? In addition to co-hosting the Watch What Crappens Bravo Podcast, I’m gearing up for a new season of Big Brother in 2 Minutes Video Re-Enactments and will be recapping Game of Crowns later this summer. You can also find me on Twitter, Vine (@RonnieKaram) and Instagram.