Big Brother House: Urban is the New Black

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Pictures of this year’s house have been spreading around the net this morning. Let’s let production designer Scott Storey explain it for us: “This year’s theme is urban treehouse.” The network “wanted it to feel urban, young and playful, and urban treehouse seemed like a perfect place to start.”

Um, Scott. You said “urban” three times. I think that means CBS is cool with black people, so get off their urban backs m’kay? THEY’RE NOT RACIST! We get it, guys. You should have just re-created the set of the Cosby Show and called it a day.

In all seriousness, though, let’s hope a new house will clear out that nasty Aryan, Gina Marie and Amanda energy. The mattresses are probably bolted to the bed frames this year. Let’s check out some pics, stolen from The Hollywood Reporter‘s page!

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Pretty confusing. If this Big Brother cast has as many brain cells as most, they will have trouble figuring out which are the trees they can pee on. Expect a lot of flies.

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We’re dealing with the elements this season, hence the fire room. Representing the painful scabs passed around on the shared toilet seat. Consider this bedroom a warning, HouseGuests.

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The cave room: making the Neanderthals feel at home. AW! Watch out for clubs, ladies!

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They’re calling this the Hive Room, because it’s where people talk strategy. I call it the “Plywood from Home Depot and Pillows From Ikea Because This Show Has a Budget of Five Dollars Room.” Admittedly, my name’s not as catchy as CBS’.

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The Blue Bathroom: also known as a different version of the place Lane masturbated I mean cleaned his ears on the internet.


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The “deconstructed” kitchen. I’m betting those herbs are plastic, as the only things served in this house besides slop are cheetos and Little Caesars.
 
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New Memory Wall!
 

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The Treehouse. And yes, there is still a chess board. Will someone actually understand how to play it this season? If so, casting won’t have done their jobs.
 
Check out the full gallery over at The Hollywood Reporter! TrashTalkTV will be back with nonstop Big Brother coverage this season. TheMiki, JalleytoCali and RonnieK will be providing same night recaps of the show, and RonnieK will be doing another season of weekly Big Brother in 2 Minutes videos.

Want more TrashTalk? Follow us on Twitter for updates of recaps as they publish, like us onFacebook for a daily update, watch our TV parody vids on YouTube, or for funny TV pics, heart us on Instagram, follow our TV parody boards on Pinterest, and get our daily microblogs on Tumblr!

Want more RonnieK? In addition to co-hosting the Watch What Crappens Bravo Podcast, I’m gearing up for a new season of Big Brother in 2 Minutes Video Re-Enactments and will be recapping Game of Crowns later this summer. You can also find me on Twitter, Vine (@RonnieKaram) and Instagram.

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About RonnieK

RonnieK

Ronnie Karam runs TrashTalkTV, co-hosts the Watch What Crappens Podcast, and performs comedy around Los Angeles before going home to record Taylor Swift songs alone in his tiny closet. It sounds like a much sadder life than it is! Current Shows: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (written recaps), Big Brother (Big Brother in 2 Minutes Videos) Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/ronniekaram Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/ronniekaram YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee

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  • RonnieK

    Having a Live Feed Recapper audition!

  • RonnieK

    I have put the forums back up after some debugging and tweaking. We need live feed recappers though! Just wrote an article about it. Don’t you think it’s time you got down to writing, itchy?? Have you ever done yoga without a yoga mat?

  • http://misterdangerous.wordpress.com misterdangerous

    That thing in the first picture looks like a rocket or something that should be at Disneyland next to Space Mountain. Does anybody know if there’s a “jack shack?” If not, I would wear flip flops in the shower.

    AWWWW, a picture of Lane. Thanks. The memories are just squirting back into my memory.

    The reason I like you RonnieK is because you’re klassy like me.

  • HandyManda

    I think we should have a pre-emptive prayer before the season even starts…couldn’t hurt right?

  • Classy Drunk

    Geezz! Have we ever needed your prayers this early in the game spike22?

  • MissKris

    I’m really hoping we get away from the house vote thing and hopefully there’ll be room for individual thought and votes. For me the unanimous house vote is the major boredom contributor to the show.

  • spike22

    2 teams picked from the beginning? America voting weekly? 2 Hoh’s? Battle of the Block? I’m starting off very skeptical about this season but I’ll give it a try for old times sake. Maybe we’ll be able to get away from the whole “house vote” thing. *shrugs*

  • Chicken Lips

    Shut. Up. AMERICUUUUUH!

    Just to tide you over.

  • itchy

    With any luck, they’ll bring back Duckface Elissa, so we’ll have Ronnie’s awesome imitation to look forward to all summer.

  • MissKris

    Please tell me there will be forums. There’s no way I’m watching BB16 without the forums, if it’s not happening this year I wont even bother tuning in to the show, and will catch the recaps from time to time. BB is just not the same without my forums and spoilers!

  • itchy

    Even better : Sanford and Son.

    What about the feed forums? Are those happening this year?

  • Chooch

    There are 2 memory walls because there will be 2 HOH’s each week who will each nominate 2 people for eviction. That is part of this season’s new “twist” that Julie announced today on The Talk. Both HOH’s will not be immune from eviction either. There are other things that will change the game from week to week. Check it out here:
    http://www.cbs.com/shows/big_brother/news/1002652/
    For other news and gossip be sure to stop by Trash Talk Big Brother Fan Page on Facebook. The new cast will be revealed tomorrow and I will have the scoop on who the returning BB vets will be. https://www.facebook.com/bigbrotherfansite?ref=hl&ref_type=bookmark

  • blazergirl

    Ah man, the Big Brother house as the set of The Cosby Show would have been the best ever!!! Ronnie, why the hell aren’t they consulting with you about this first?