RHOC Recap: Poor Little Beador... | TrashTalkTV

RHOC Recap: Poor little Beador…

Jeez, you guys, I think I got vicarious therapy this week just from watching.  So much with the talking and the resolving and the not resolving and the blah, blah, blah.  Thank goodness it looks like things are getting good next week, because this week was a bit of a snoozefest.  Let’s get started, now that you’re all excited.

First to the couch – Vicki and Heather.  I think it’s really telling that Vicki is so rational when she’s not sitting next to Tamra.  Think about it, in this fifteen minutes, she didn’t scream, she didn’t snore, and she didn’t pee herself.  She was almost likable.  I feel a little sick saying it, but I think it’s worth mentioning.  Anywho, Heather mentions that her holidays were great aside from the terrible start they got at Shannon’s party when Tamra ambushed Heather AFTER being offered a spot on Good Day LA.  Vicki points out that Tamra has a nasty habit of throwing away good relationships through the time-honored tradition of being a bitch at the worst possible times.  Vicki doesn’t really understand why, but I think it’s because Tamra is incredibly self-centered, and when she’s bored, she likes to invent reasons to hate people.

Heather’s a total sad monkey about this whole thing, because she’d been excited to offer the “Good Day LA” segment to Tamra and Eddie, but now she’s not even excited to go.  Vicki points out that it’s hard for Tamra to get really close to people, and reveals that Tamra often feels as though Heather makes her feel “less than,” sometimes.  Then Vicki does something that totally shocks me and apologizes for joining in when Tamra’s been shit-talking Heather this season.  WUT?  Since when does Vicki admit she’s wrong?  Since when does Vicki act SANE?  This is so weird.  Vicki admits that Heather’s high-falutin’ lifestyle intimidates her sometimes, but Heather doesn’t really understand why since she claims she’s not materialistic when it comes to friends.  Rly?  Heather, it’s all well and good to think you’re not materilistic because you have friends from different income groups, but when you spend all your time breaking ground on your new palace and talking about how your rental manse is a five bedroom shack, it can be off-putting to others.

HEATHER VICKI Something to think about.

In any case, Heather thinks Vicki’s insecurities are really her own and not something Heather can or will control, but they manage to achieve some sort of resolution all the same.  Vicki decides to stop snoring in Heather’s presence and Heather decides to maybe make the effort to shut the fuck up every once in awhile.  Good luck with that.

Elsewhere, Lizzie heads up to Santa Monica to judge the Miss Santa Monica USA pageant.  Oh, GOD.  I can only imagine.  Everyone I see associated with this segment looks like full-grown castmembers of “Toddlers and Tiaras.”  I like Lizzie, but none of this engendered her to me at all, regardless of how much she says that pageant girls nowadays are smart, accomplished career women.  It does seem that that’s the case, but if that’s really true, can we maybe eliminate the swimsuit competition and insert some earning statements?  Also, the only conclusion Lizzie reaches at the end of this segment is that she wants another baby.  Color me confused.  Supposedly she wants it “all,” and that includes judging pageants, running her company and raising a bunch of babies.  Good for her, I suppose…  I still don’t really know what to think of Lizzie.  Time will tell.

At Tamra’s, it’s time for “Good Day LA”!  Buuuuut, Tamra hasn’t spoken to Heather in almost a month, so, according to Eddie and the rest of the country, shit’s gonna be awkward.  Things don’t improve when Team Cu*t Fitness arrives at the studio.  Heather doesn’t come to say “hello,” so Tamra’s mortally offended, of course.  When it comes time for the actual segment, Heather has to do a quick change, but she doesn’t make back in time to put her mic on.  So, the first part of the segment is Heather tying her shoe, figuring out her mic and in general making it hard for Tamra to get across her very important talking points (one free week in January – NO one offers THAT!).  Tamra’s PISSED that Heather would show up and not pay their friendship it’s appropriate due.  Heather doesn’t really feel like she owed Tamra any of that since Tamra hadn’t reached out at all over the holidays to apologize.  Tamra vents to Eddie how rude she thought Heather was on set, but Eddie, being sane, understands what a great opportunity this was, says that there could have been a million reasons Heather wasn’t so available, and that the appropriate course of action would be a one-on-one conversation where both sides are presented in an unbiased and non-emotional fashion.

EDDIE REALITYDo you even know you’re on a reality show?  Do you?

At Shannon’s, it’s just another typical night at the Beador household, filled with passive aggressive “banter” with the children present.  Shannon went up to LA and got a stash of her party-smart pills, but she jokes that she’ll have to use them with a friend because her husband doesn’t rage, DAVID.  David points out that they could spend more time together if the kids weren’t sucking up a bunch of money with their “perks.”  These perks include Cotillion, (understandable), voice lessons (understandable), and massages… (WHAT?).  Shannon doesn’t consider those things perks, but part of a child’s life, but David grew up in the dirt in Michigan, and he’s not accustomed to rich kids and all their accoutrements.  Then they fight about whether or not he’s taking a glass of water to bed with him and it’s becoming clear that things are as bad in the Beador household as we thought.  David heads to bed at 8:30pm every night, so after their little spat, he goes to sleep and Shannon stays up by herself.  She reveals that this arrangement makes it so they spend only a few hours a day with each other, and it’s wearing on her.  It does seem pretty lonely.

Commercial!

Thankfully we return to a slightly happier household, or at least a more repressed one, as we head to Vicki’s for dinner.  Briana, Ryan, Troy and Michael arrive, and Briana comes bearing a box of balloons – once the box is open, the color of balloons will reveal the genitalia of the baby!  Hooray!  It is pretty cute, especially when bookended by opposing interviews of Vicki and Briana stating what sex Briana wants.  Vicki is adamant she wants a girl, and Briana, as well she should be after years on this show, is adamant that she is terrified of girls.  Guess what?

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13 comments on “RHOC Recap: Poor little Beador…

  1. Tamra’s appearance on tv to promote her gym was a disaster. Heather would have helped tremendously if Tamra had called her prior to her appearance. Tamra is too dumb to be a good business person. Her gym has no identity, theme, or brand. The various services, Tamra doesn’t know why the gym offers them. She was confusing and inarticulate. Tamra should have really done her homework. But, she didn’t and she is stupid. Eddie looked mortified. It is not Heather’s obligation to enthuse or tutor Tamra. Tamra should have called Heather and fine-tuned her appearance to the max. Why does Shannon harass her husband over a glass of water? And then the crazy woman wonders why her husband wants to move out…..DUH!

  2. Stevie W. says:

    I actually got to watch this episode in its entirey last night, which almost never happens and GOOD LAWD could Tammy Sue BE more of a conniving bitch. I was totally irritated with her constantly trying to agree with her Eddie that Heather was being frosty to the point I kept yelling at the TV she doing her job get over yourself you beady eyed hamster! Geez!!! No wonder your child said that you were a fame monster consumed with the show. Also you are making me feel things for Heather like sympathy and Vicki is making sense… JUST STOP. Oh wait you didn’t and now poor Shannon (who I agree 1st season they are all pretty like able plus she was on WWHL last night and she seemed really cool) will feel the wrath of your inability to feel joy and have friends. Congrats!

  3. AuntieEm says:

    Did Shannon really pour herself a water glass full of vodka and sit down to drink it after putting the kids to bed? Girlfriend needs to slow down a bit or her insides will be so pickled even Dr. Moon’s finger up her bum won’t be able to unclog her. Seriously, she doesn’t want cell phone rays in her home but she will drink lighter fluid. Makes perfect sense to me…

  4. monchichi says:

    It seemed like Lizzie is getting a little of the “irony edit.” She was going on and on about how, if she has another baby, her husband has to help her, etc etc, but every time they show him, he’s dealing with the kids while she’s out of the house or “cooking.” This season’s theme appears to be lack of self-awareness for everyone.
    Tammie and Heather looked like they were wearing halloween masks in the restaurant. Heather’s face is starting to make her look like a really sophisticated puppet.

  5. e-milt714 says:

    Holy crap can someone put a g d muzzle on that hag tamra?!?! Making me feel sympathy for satan dubrow calls for immediate termination. Her time needs to be UP ALREADY! I feel bad for bad for Shannon esp on WWHL when she was obliv to heather mocking her. That was painful to watch. Only reason I’m still watching is for that little cherub baby Troy! :-)

  6. TN Gal says:

    I think someone’s bangs needs the Ramona Pinot Forehead Curler.

    Granted, I’ve only been married long enough to beat KK’s 72 day “marriage”, but I’ve got sense to know that sometimes, coughShannoncough, biting your tongue and comprise are the keys to being married. TN Guy and I are on opposite schedules most of the time, so sometimes when he gets home from a gig really late, he sits up until time for me to get ready for work. If I know he will be home by midnight, I’ll wait up. We may only talk for a few minutes before falling asleep, but we’ve at least had a connection. I don’t see Shannon trying to compromise or adapt to David’s schedule. I’m glad she sees that now and I hope she will really use this as a wake up call, if she’s serious about saving her marriage.

    Tammy Sue is acting like a spoiled child. I will give her being upset with Heather over the baby thing and bringing it up to Eddie, but for the love of botox, give the gym segment a rest. If Tammy Sue isn’t careful, she’s going to run off Eddie. I think Heather was right to stop apologizing for the gym segment and I think her apology for the baby thing was genuine. She’s not that good of an actress.

    Vickie has been a sane, rational, articulate, calm and caring housewife now for two weeks.I don’t like it, and it scares me. ANDY COHEN, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, AND WHERE IS THE REAL VICKIE??

    Lizzie wants it all as long as she has someone to help. Every time we’ve seen her hubby, he’s been with the kids. I wonder if that’s just for the cameras.

    Thanks for the recap!

  7. 2muchbravo says:

    I’m not taking sides here but if Heather knew she had to be dressed for a workout segment couldn’t she have been dressed appropriately so that all she needed to do was take the blazer off or change her top? No one would see her pants or sneakers behind the desk. Tammy Sue was being a baby about things but Heather wasn’t being very professional.

  8. Honeybee says:

    I will openly and honestly say I was high-fiving angels when Lizzie called Tamra and Shannon out for talking shit. For one catching Tamra off guard and watching her squirm was a thing of beauty. The fact that she was called out for the “pick a side” comment was just icing. I don’t think that Heather said it, but even if she did…it exposed Tammy Sue for the shit-stirring backstabber she is. I for one can’t wait for the reunion.

  9. Squirrel says:

    Hilarious recap.

    If I may, im taking aim at both RH shows here.

    Overprivileged a-holes achieving pedestrian milestones is of zero interest.

    Unless Lizzie’s pageant story line involves a threesome with Gorge and Cody, I’m sitting that one out.

    Unless your kid got into college by filling out their application with a crayon between their toes, no.

    Unless your kid has no arms and had to parallel park a non BMW by steering the wheel with their teeth, I’m not impressed.

    Unless Brianna’s next baby is coming out of Ryan’s penis, then I have to Vicki-snore through the segment.

    The only storylime o evrn remotely care about os Shannon’s. Poor thing doesnt know wether to Wang Chung, or Feng Shui. She’s lost.

    Editing obviously focuses on her whining and complaining, but I see a woman so despatate for any crumb of affection that she’ll pick a fight with her husband over taking a glass of water to bed in order to get him to stay up for the extra three minutes of fighting. These two make no sense together, clearly don’t like each other, and won’t benefit from therapy. If it’s at the point where you have to announce you need a stiff drink to have sex with husband, and he’s suggesting separation through e-mail, what’s left to discuss? Consciously uncouple already.

    I’m all for mockery, but watching Heather be so deliberately cruel to Shannon’s situation makes me want to stab her in the heart cavity with a giant pointy charger crystal.

  10. Heather Keet says:

    Well goddammit!!! How can we start the recap with Vikki being rational AND apologizing!!!

    I protest!!!

    http://shank-you-very-much.com/2014/06/17/is-sasquatch-in-the-truck/

  11. Heather Keet says:

    Those bangs are going to get a damn spin-off.

  12. Kenzie says:

    I love this season ! Best OC housewives since season 2 because it feels REAL and I live in the OC by the way, Orange County is being represented pretty well now that Gretchen is gone, that was a lot of fakeness.

  13. hot cawfeee says:

    Hey !!!!!! Youse Guys!!!!!throwing glitter and doing jazz hands to get attention!!!!

    clearing throat—–Dr. Paul (the former Mr Maloof) and Dr Terry(–keeping Heather the failed actress properly Botoxed) have their own reality show on E called “Botched”—those 2 crazy kids will do the doctor thing and …..wait for it…..fix “botched” plastic surgeries. I think this chuckle fest will write itself!!!!!

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