Greetings Trash Talkers! My apologies for this being late. Sadly, some unfortunate events have occurred lately. So please be patient with the recaps for now. That’s life and I am still snarking!
Less than a week ago the new Bravo divorce show, Untying the Knot, made it’s grand entrance. Vikki Ziegler, our star, knows divorce and her job is to mediate these lovely couples as they fight over complete crap and help them come to a decision on who gets what without having to take it to court. They may be fighting over things, but what lies underneath the anger is a glorious mix of love, hate and betrayal. And possibly the fact that someone is not getting laid on a regular basis.
That being said, our very first couple, Mira and Jacques, represented all of the above. The sex part being something Jacques missed now that Mira was no more. They met up with Vikki, who was professional and polished. She does take her job seriously. Good. It was obvious from the get go Mira had moved on. She even wore a happy little afterglow.
Mira needs lots of money to maintain this look. Forever.
Jacques had not moved on but he wouldn’t admit it. He went on and on about how hot his ex was at the first of the show, when they talk about how things were when they first met and what went wrong. Except not in the mediation. The way he droned on, and on… and ON about how gorgeous and sexy his very soon to be ex-wife was before the session even started… made me laugh hysterically. Yes we KNOW you want her back dummy.
I was almost embarrassed for him. If I didn’t find men who act like him so irritating, it would have been even more fun. As it was, I got a smug little grin watching the moron act so pompous then making an ass of himself.
Of course like all men once he got around Mira for the mediation he tried to act like he didn’t care. Which was so transparent. PLEASE Jacques you have obviously been around for a while. Don’t you know that one looks idiotic after the 5th grade doing that especially when you keep giving her the eye, clinging to the hope that you will get her back?
Not happening. They argued over a few things, not a big ole argument but it was still enjoyable. They were both lusting after the same things (no I was not talking about Mira I am referring to ITEMS).
Beauty equals bling.
The items were:
Paris apartment: truly valuable but still had to be paid off. Worth $400,000 but they still owed $200,000 on it.
Buddha head that supposedly fell off some beam in a temple in Thailand. Or something like that. They both think it is worth millions. So of course they both want it.
Her wedding/engagement ring combo:
A huge canary yellow ring that did look truly valuable. It was purchased at $100,000. I’d say well done to Mira if she hadn’t waited to get it until AFTER they were married. Dumb move. That meant they BOTH had ownership of it. That just sucked.
Antiques, art, jewelry, etc is appraised by the other regulars on the show, two overly moussed men who shall be known as the Millea brothers. They are experts in expensive antiques, art etc. and will tell them what it’s really worth. Jacques paid $5,000 for that Buddha head in Thailand and he thought he got the deal of a lifetime. Too comical.
The fighting began as soon as they got on the couch. She clearly never wanted him. He figured out the ring part and enjoyed what little power he had over her with the ring. Well, she did con him into thinking she was in love with him while they were married. Sucker.
I guess he wasn’t going for the “if I act really nice and give you want you want you will come back to me” technique. He had moved on to the “I am acting like an ass so your low self-esteem will be convinced it is something about YOU that is making me act like an ass” move. It didn’t work. Mira knew she had it going. Take that, pompous bastard!
Okay so Mira was a greedy girl but from the second she popped on the screen you could tell she was from the start. No surprises. She wanted everything; the apartment in Paris, for instance, but she didn’t want to pay off what they owed on it. If they decided to sell it she wanted half. Of course that would be AFTER he paid off the debt.
Ha ha ha ha.
His argument was that he found the damn thing so he should get the whole thing. Dumb, dumb and dumber. Bad argument. Then onto the ring situation where he pointed out they were married when he bought the rings. Ooh we saw he was not as dumb as we thought.