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I Wanna Marry "Harry" RECAP American Pageant | TrashTalkTV

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I Wanna Marry “Harry” Recap: American Pageant

and the winner is

This show has been cancelled… hahaa, it’s like cutting off a satisfying sh*t mid-sh*t. and I mean this quite literally. So MisRed will recap the remaining episodes over the next week and then we can all curl up in the fetal position in the bottom of our shower and try to scrub it off.

At the end of the last episode, Chelsea and Anna Lisa exited. Chelsea by choice, Anna Lisa most probably because she seemed to be onto the fact that Not Harry is, well, not Harry. And Kelley, the stage 5 clinger was moved into the Crown Suite.

Not Harry is awakened by someone other than Kingsley- he must be trying to renegotiate his contract, because surely he did not see THIS level of humiliation coming. Not Harry says he think most of the girls are beginning to fall for this ruse and they do, indeed believe he is Prince Harry.

line up
Where would one buy a skirt like this?  Forever Slutty?

Oh here’s Kingsley, he has gathered the remaining suckers and says that Sir was worried that they might be missing home, so they have raised the American Flag over Deerfield Manor.

american flag
Now I feel better about my Mom being dead. 

I know that when I miss my family all I do is look at the flag to feel better. ??? The girls think it’s the sweetest thing EVER and then Kingsley announces that there is going to be a Pageant, to vie for the Title of Miss Deerfield.

England travel guide
Hmmm, where is the chapter on stalking and kidnapping Royals?

Kelley is in the Crown Suite reading a Lonely Planet guidebook to England, dressed and ready at 4am for her date with “Prince Harry.” She says “I don’t think the rest of the girls know what they are dealing with. When it comes down to the wire, I will do anything to be with him.” Yikes. I can’t believe this chick passed the psych evaluation. Someone comes in and gets her and brings Kelly to Not Harry.

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I was up all night carving “Mrs. Prince Harry” into the skin on my forearm

In his room he tells her that he thinks she, more than anyone else, is falling for this horseshit, I mean, knows who he really is, but he wants her to forget about that and get to know him. She says she doesn’t care that he’s a Prince, she wants to get to know him, or anyone else that shows that slightest bit of interest in her.

No, your steely stare isn't creeping me out at all.
No, you’re steely stare isn’t creeping me out at all…I’ve had hostage training

He says it’s harder to tell the lies to Kelley because she is so trusting. And she thinks that she has confirmation that he is really Harry and this gives her an advantage. Bless your heart, you poor girl.

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3 comments on “I Wanna Marry “Harry” Recap: American Pageant

  1. Pegalicious says:

    MisRed, there has been one thing and one thing only that has made this trainwreck bearable: your recaps. I suffered through the first episode (well, OK, I was playing Four Rivers so I didn’t suffer all that much), but you, you poor soul, must actually pay attention to the “action” so you can report to your avid fans. Thank you for stepping up and offering to recap the remaining episodes. Your sacrifice will not be unappreciated.

    The only thing I’m sorry to miss is the “reveal” when the princesses-in-waiting learn that their object of affection is Not Harry.

  2. Chicken Lips Chicken Lips says:

    You have definitely gone above and beyond to take a big hit for Team Trashie. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU MisRed!

    If I ever get on a reality show to marry a “prince” and I win, you are definitely invited to my Princess Coronation!

  3. itchy itchy says:

    Wah! I can’t watch it. Fox doesn’t like France! Who would have ever guessed that?

    At least I have your recaps. Whew!

    Can’t wait until Kelly eats Meghan. That’s going to be fun. She should start with that “h” in her name.

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