Cheerio everyone! MissKitty here to recap the second episode of Ladies of London!
First off, I want to thank all of you who commented. Your comments were brilliant! I laughed at them (“I thought Caprice was dead”; Caroline’s greasy-looking hair, the great “clotted cream” debate). I do read them, but I can’t comment, because I would then give away my secret identity of my other alias aka, NOT MissKitty. I’m glad you all are watching this lorry-wreck with me.
We open the show with an absolutely unheard-of event in England: RAIN. Juliet exclaims “Oh no! Rain!” Um. You DO live in England, right? Or as Caprice would say “royt?” She is flapping around her house, getting her daughter ready for school. Her daughter Georgina, who looks like she doesn’t particularly want to be on TV (SMART little girl!) has won a rainbow button for holding open the door for her “whole reception class”. Aw! Haha so cute. I think we should implement similar medals for grown-ups, don’t you? I’d love to, with great ceremony, deny one to the twatbag who let the elevator doors close the other day, with no semblance of pretending to be unable to find the correct button to press (which is what you do if you’re civilized). Juliet blathers on while her daughter already has assimilated the English expression of every living being within earshot of Juliet.
“Can you please stop talking now, Mummy?”
Juliet says that American moms are much more “hands on” than British mothers, which probably true. But also probably true: their special snowflakes are usually also the ones who stand on restaurant booth benches and for no fathomable reason emit high pitched screams that would make my dog paw at her ears. True story: My family was traveling in England to visit family, and while on the train, a small child began fussing and caterwauling. “That’ll do. That’s enough now” the mother said bending low near his ear in a quiet, menacing way, while clutching the child’s arm. The child shut up. There was no entreaty, no time out warnings. It was very impressive. Hey, it’s no accident that our country has a whole show based around having to have British Nannies come and get our nation’s children to shut the fuck up and stop acting like upright ferrets.
Thank you for saving our eardrums, one human and canine set at a time, Supernanny!
BTW: Georgina looks so cute in her little red coat!!
Heading on, we get a scene from:
It actually looks like a charming cozy place. Well, until we see Marissa poking around, grilling the bartender, “How is the new menu? ARE people LIKING it?” trying her BEST to INFLECT how it will SOUND most BRITISH. The guy has the put upon look any help has whenever the idle spouse decides to take an interest in the business and flit around asking stupid questions. It MAY be best to not pester the guy while he’s working, Marissa. Instead, perhaps be more like Lisa Vanderpump, who sits down with her staff outside working hours to get just that kind of information. You tend to make more money when you let your staff actually do their jobs, dimwit.