Game of Thrones: Where the Wildlings Are | TrashTalkTV

Game of Thrones: Where the Wildlings Are

Episode 9 has arrived. For the past two seasons, that’s meant at least one shocking Stark death. This year, the pattern has been suspended. This episode is less about the surprise than the arrival of the inevitable. The wildlings, like winter, have been coming foreverrrrr, and they finally arrived to wreak havoc on the Wall.

The episode begins relatively peacefully, with Jon and Sam standing watch on the Wall.

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Sam still thinks that Gilly is dead, and that he’s about to die too, so he’s pretty much missed the love/sex boat. Sam’s grilling Jon about Ygritte.

“What was she like?”

“She had red hair.”

“Really, how big were her feet?”

i don’t know, but i did find brienne’s feet

I guess because of Jon’s flowing romantic hair, we forget that he kind of sucks at feelings; his responses are pretty gruff and manful. Jon’s surprised that Sam and Gilly never got it on, but then, “She just had a baby!… And she never offered.” Jon’s also surprised that Sam would have broken his Night’s Watch vows; Sam goes on a bit of legal acrobatics that warms my cold lawyerly heart. The vows are “open to interpretation”; they explicitly say you can’t marry or have kids, but there isn’t much detail on “other activities.”

This whole exchange just reinforces the cultural weirdnesses of the Wall. There are adult Crows, from back alley rapists to victims of political warfare, that have already lived relatively normal adult lives and are forced to give that up at the Wall. Then there are kids, like Jon and Sam, who joined before they could even imagine what they were giving up. Looking back at the Winterfell boys, it looks like Theon’s really the only one who took full advantage of his fun bits before they were lost by severance, celibacy or death.

Anyway, Jon results a dumbed down version of 2 Become 1 before exclaiming that he’s “not a bleeding poet.” He lets Sam off the hook on watch duty (good idea when you know an attack’s coming?) and he goes down below. Jon goes back up to the Wall, and there’s a meaningful shot of Jon then a meaningful shot of an owl-y looking bird, which means it’s a warg.

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Yep, it’s a warg, and the next shot is of it’s terrifying cannibal master.

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I guess being a warg isn’t as special as everyone told Bran it was; they seem to be running rampant up north. Tormund, Ygritte, and some gross cannibals are sitting around the fire telling stories of their sexual conquests. Ygritte interrupts Tormund just as he launches into a gross narrative about fucking a bear. She wants everyone to stop having a good time and start thinking about killing some Crows; she’s viciously whittling arrows with Jon’s name on them. She also gives a very tiny bit of exposition about the history between the wildlings and the men of Westeros; basically, the men came, took wildling land, put up a Wall, and now come past the Wall and kill them sometimes. Sooooo… basically the story of Israel and Palestine? This series really needs a Silmarillion. I’d read it. Anything to avoid studying for the bar.

Ygritte then gets called out for pining for her Crow lover.  This pisses her off, and she stomps right up to the gross cannibal a foot taller than her and gives him a piece of her mind. Her “ginger minge” is not for anyone, but her arrows are for Jon.

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5 comments on “Game of Thrones: Where the Wildlings Are

  1. JimbobJones says:

    You’re studying for the bar, McWeanis? Hope you aren’t using this show for inspiration (or maybe I hope you are).

    “Your honor, my client couldn’t make it.”
    “Is there something wrong, counselor.”
    “No, no, no. Nothing’s wrong. I just figured he was guilty, so I took care of it on the way in… now who’s up for a game of Kerplunk!?”

  2. notwithoutmyTV says:

    I officially have “Game of Thrones” fatigue.

    It feels like “Walking Dead” fatigue, and a little like “Twilight” fatigue felt (except without the spectre of Stephanie Myer’s imminent death). You sort of warily creep through your day, waiting for the next pop-culture appearance of GoT to be forced upon you. Emblazoned on your cardboard sleeve of hours-old french fries, or co-branding the 4G network you should be enjoying the faster speeds of… while you download the latest controversial episode of GoT!!! Or having Mazda draw some nonsensical connection between its car designs and Tyrion on GoT.

  3. vallegirl says:

    I thought they did a nice job with Ygritte.I liked her as a character because she was always in control of her own situation, but her death made sense in context and she did get a sweet send off from Jon. It was sad and poignant and you couldn’t blame the child. It wasn’t just random, gory violence. I’m glad I didn’t know that people were cheering her death, though. She was a great character and I was sad to see her die, although, when the battle began I wondered (since I haven’t read the books) who among Jon, Sam and Ygritte would die. My money was on Sam.

    But I agree about Ghost. Man, he was pretty useless in the battle.

  4. cattyfan says:

    “Your Honor, my client would like Trial by Combat. There is no Moon Door in the court room, is there?”

  5. melange says:

    I’m one of the few that didn’t mind Ygritte’s death scene with John. The battle clearly turned in the Crows’ favor after John killed the cannibal (you can clearly see them overwhelming the remaining wildlings in the background). So there wasn’t anyone really left to take him out while she died. Also, it was (a rare bit of) slow motion; in realtime it would be just a few seconds.

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