So, where are we in this tornado of spray tans and daisy dukes? Oh yeah, uh- Last week, Carley Einstein departed due to her sh*tty personality and horrible DJ-ing skills and Karina, who previously jammed a Euro Soccer Star- but truly loved him for him, was crowbar’d into the Crown Suite.
What slag will do you think Faux Prince Harry will bring into the woods this week?
We open with the ladies troweling on their make-up and plotting ways to get Not Harry to notice them. This week there will be a photo-shopped picture of Not Harry with the real Prince William.
Karina is invited to Not Harry’s room…where he is lounging about in his robe. As they are eating breakfast… apparently Not Harry has the trots and he “pops” to the loo, leaving Karina alone in the room with the photo-shopped photo of himself and Prince William. Of course, Karina gets up to more closely inspect it.
We get a close-up on Karina, and oh, this poor girls has some bad acne, covered up with THICK make-up.
Honey, you need some Proactiv solution. They chat further, but Karina is distracted because now she KNOWS he is Prince Harry.
On her way back to the holding pen, Karina isn’t sure if she should tell the other girls about seeing the photograph. It might be better for her to keep it to herself.
So, of course, the first thing out of her mouth is yapping to the other girls about the picture.
The girls are all shocked that it’s REALLY Prince Harry. ??? Kelley is like- Duh, I already knew.
Wait, that was Karina’s whole date? She got ripped off, in MisRed’s opinion.
The girls meet Kingsley at the stables…to visit Maggie. Some of the girls will be riding horses today, but the rest of the girls will be mucking out the stalls. The girls don’t really even know what “mucking” means. Don’t worry, my pretties, you will. In an interview, Not Harry says he needs a girl who doesn’t mind getting her hands dirty because after all he’s not really a Prince and he’s going to need someone to do work. Hahah. Just how dirty IS his flat? Is he looking for a girlfriend or a maid?
The girls selected to go horseback riding with the Non-Prince: Chelsea & Maggie.
Wait, is putting a horse on a horse cool? I don’t know the equine etiquette.
The rest of the girls will be getting into overalls and will be shoveling crap, and they are not happy about it.
Not Harry says he chose Chelsea and Maggie because he doesn’t know them and isn’t sure he will have chemistry with them. The girls get dressed up in riding gear. Not Harry comes out on his horse in formal riding attire.
The girls who are picking up actual horse sh*t as opposed to his verbal horse sh*t ooooh and ahhh …
and Not Harry leaves with Chelsea and the horses.
Not Harry is worried because Prince Harry is known for being quite a horseman and he doesn’t want to mess up. Ok, the girls have people WALKING their horses, so I doubt they would notice any misstep on his part. Chelsea asks Not Harry straight up if he’s ever dated a black girl? (The answer was no, btws)
Back at the barn the girls are shoveling TONS of sh*t, while Karina stands by watching- I guess that was part of being in the Crown Suite, she doesn’t have to shovel manure.
Kelley is really working and hauling poop and bales of hay as if she’s getting some kind of award.
And she has poop on her boob.
The girls wonder if Maggie will stay sober enough to stay on a horse? Mean, but completely valid concern.
Not Harry brings Chelsea and Maggie to a little table in a barn, presumably to meet Maggie’s parents.
The ladies are offered cider or beer. I’ll give you two guesses what Maggie chooses and the first one doesn’t count.
Chelsea is like “Of course Maggie loves her beer.” And Maggie is NOT happy about it. Maggie doesn’t like the fact that Chelsea is point out that Maggie is a lush.
MUCH later, back at the house, Maggie is still pissed at Chelsea. Chelsea is like-if you don’t want him to know you’re a hot drunken mess then why are you hot drunken mess every night?
Maggie thinks Chelsea is trying to sabotage her. Chelsea tells Maggie to “pump her breaks” and they fight and Not Harry can hear from his room. They are yelling and cursing at each other. Good times.
The next day, Kingsley informs Karina that she will be spending the day with “Sir.” Oh, good, at least Karina is not getting the short end of the stick. A helicopter lands on the lawn and Karina… seemingly wearing only a shirt climbs aboard with Not Harry.
Anna Lisa says she doesn’t think he’s Prince Harry- she thinks the nose is not right. Kelley says he definitely IS Harry.