I have bar envy! I will need one this size to get through theses recaps!!
Hello to all of you Kardashian fans – welcome to the new summer season! I am new at this hot mess of a show, so you all can please help me out with your comments as we travel this journey together with the family that is famous for being famous. This episode is titled “Let It Go” and no, it’s not anything like the darling Disney movie Frozen. This episode is about filthy rich people having to struggle through real life problems: Kim needs to learn how to let her weird competitiveness with her mother go; Khloe needs to learn how to let her marriage dissolve and let her husband Lamar go, or at least let his clothes and ashtrays go; and Kourtney needs to let her emotions go. That about sums it up, but the full recap is below outlining all the drama and developments.
There is a totally useless opening scene of the girls jumping on the trampoline. I guess it symbolizes how we all must be jumping for joy with new episodes!
Next we hear from Khloe, who is explaining her situation with Lamar, which seems to be in limbo. She declares that her motto is “I don’t know.” (Note to Kardashian family members, maybe a dictionary would be a good gift for Khloe, with “motto” bookmarked.)
Next we are at the main Jenner house. Kim enters the room where Kris has just fixed herself a drink. Kris remarks on how beautiful Kim’s breasts look (wtf?) and Kim explains she has just lifted them with a different bra. Kim is appalled that Kris is going to a concert for rap music and questions whether Kris knows anything about rappers. Kim wants her mother to act age appropriate. Kris responds that in her mind you are only as old as you feel. And she is excited that she is keeping up with her daughters. Kris calls Kim a Debbie Downer, but Kim responds that she would rather be a Debbie Downer than a Debbie Desperado.
The bar is worth seeing again!
Khloe is now at a car dealership, where she meets Scott. They talk a little bit about Scott’s depression. He wants to go back to the spa that he and Kourtney went to some time ago because he likes that they encourage you to get emotional. Scott has been through a lot recently – he lost both of his parents within two months of each other and he needs to process his thoughts and think about things. And … buy a new sports car for Kourtney. He thinks this will mean the world to Kourtney because it would mean the world to him. So he buys her a fancy Ferrari so she doesn’t have to be “Miss Mommy” in her regular SUV.
Now we are at lunch with Khloe, Kim and Kris. There is comparison about hoop earrings – the bigger the hoop the bigger the ho. Khloe’s hoops are ginormous, whereas Kris’s are just regular big. Khloe and Kris remark how good Kim’s body is looking. In fact, Khloe says that Kris and Kim could have a M.I.L.F-off. Kim takes this as a great compliment. The competition Kim has with her mother, in her own words is a “funny, cute, weird competition.” I call it S.I.C.K. Kim remarks that whatever she does, her mother tries to outdo her. For instance, when she treated a picture of herself in a bikini, Kris had to do the same. Then we are exposed to the two pictures! By the way, Kim, that doesn’t look like a bikini. (Maybe the family could buy the dictionaries in bulk!)
My bikini is bigger than yours
Khloe talks about her life change. She cannot even mention what is really happening (D.I.V.O.R.C.E. – borrow one of the aforementioned dictionaries). So she is spending a large amount of time avoiding packing up the house, although she has potential buyers who will be in the house in ten days. Now at this point I am thinking as rich as all these people are, wouldn’t they just have people to come in and do the packing anyway? This is just useless drama.
Scott is excited to show Kourtney the fancy, expensive car he just bought her — a little token of how much he loves and respects her. Kourtney is excited that she has just upgraded to a large iced tea (from a medium-sized one). She calls it life changing.
The time it takes to drink the extra four ounces doesn’t leave me with any free time!
However, when she sees the new Ferrari from her husband, there is no excitement. She has the nerve to complain that she has kids with car seats and they won’t fit in the car. Geez, what problems she has to endure!
Actually, she shows more emotion on the way to the garage to see the car, when she notices how cute the cat is. (Would a Kardashian cat be a “Kat”?)
Kim’s friend Larsa Pippen (Scottie Pippen’s wife) is visiting the main house. They are planning on going to a pole dancing class. Kris comes in and says she wants to go with them. Kim is embarrassed at the thought of doing a strip dance in front of her mother. In the limo on the way to the class, they talk about how Khloe is doing. Then Larsa says she and Scottie have sex three times a night. Kris is sooooooooooo jealous. All the while, Kim is spending the entire time texting on her phone.
Kim says she can’t dance in front of anyone and is uncomfortable. But Kris is really into it. There are lots of shots of the instructor and the students doing erotic moves with the pole. My attention is on the very strange stockings they are all wearing – a huge open-weave fishnet stocking. Can somebody enlighten me? Is that de rigueur for pole dancing?
My stockings have bigger holes — the bigger the holes, the bigger the Ho!
Khloe and Kim are together at the Jenner home and Kim is trying on clothes. Khloe is talking to Scott on the phone. He mentions that it is easier to talk to her than Kourtney. He mentions what a bad year it has been for all of them (except for Kim) — like somebody has put a spell on them. After Scott gets off the phone, Khloe tells Kim that Kourtney needs to turn it up a notch with Scott.
Malika, Khloe’s best friend shows up at Khloe’s house to help pack. She wants to pack the “Man Room”, but Khloe is still reluctant to move forward and doesn’t want to let go of things. She says that others are making her move. At issue are ashtrays and all the personal photos in the bedroom.
Next is another lunch – this one with Kourtney, Khloe, and Kim. Kim mentions details about her upcoming wedding. When Kourtney dabs her eyes (is it from the wedding or from the garlic?) Khloe calls Kourtney emotionaless. Kourtney corrects it to emotionless. They ask how she’s handling Scott’s depression. She feels helpless because all of her life she has learned to play it cool and block out feelings. But lately she hasn’t had time to deal with it. Oh, and Kim cut out holes in her shirt herself:
Next is a totally gratuitous scene showing Kris having a personal photo shoot – she is showing off her body and wants to show her daughters that you can still be sexy in your 50′s.
The girls show up and think it’s disgusting that she is being photographed showing her bare breasts. Kourtney yells that she should be embarrassed for “your life and your soul.” She also says that having a vagina out in a pool is a yeast infection ready to happen.
But after all the daughters rip on the mom, Kim feels sorry for her that she got hurt and goes to comfort her. She says deep down that she loves how secure her mom is and would rather play together with her than compete with her. True fabulousness comes from within. Then we see a truly vainglorious selfie of Kim and Kris:
Tejpal, certified coach, Brennan Healing Practitioner, arrives for a session with Kourtney at her house. Kourtney realizes she is not in touch with her feelings and wants help to be more connected with her emotions. Tejpal declares that Kourtney appears to be cold, but she’s really deep. She needs to be there for Scott, and feel his pain. Kourtney feels she’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown because she is so stressed out: she’s too busy, no time alone, pulled in a million directions, and will explode if she stops to think about her problems. She doesn’t rely on other people, it’s just her – being the oldest she always had more responsibility and has to do it herself. Tejpal tells her she needs to find time for quietness and space for herself. She needs to get in touch with her fun light side. Then there is a montage of Kourtney having fun, which basically consists of her jumping around. Then Tejpal does some sort of treatment on her.
Back to Khloe and Lamar’s’ house where Kris, Bruce and Kim show up – it’s a family packing party. Kris is eating a salad.
Khloe has an OCD problem and she wants it done her way. She warns that they are making her mad, and at one point even pushes her mother! Khloe keeps denying that Lamar is gone and won’t move forward with packing, saying she can’t touch his stuff. Kim keeps telling Khloe that Lamar is not coming back to get his things – Khloe needs to move on. Interesting that Bruce Jenner, the Olympic medalist, struggles with lifting empty boxes.
The former Olympian had trouble lifting the empty boxes
Khloe tells the camera that it’s not the things that matter, it’s the big picture of having Lamar slipping away permanently. She declares: It’s my life and my drama, and that’s just the way it is.
Scott comes home and asks Kourtney what’s going on. She explains about the coach’s visit and tells Scott about her plan to try to help him. Scott says he is appreciative of it. She says she never has time for herself, that she has a lot going on. Scott asks her exactly what does she do all day that she never has any time. And Kourtney explodes.
You want to see emotion, I’ll show you emotion
The show “The Soup” has a segment called “Scott Disick, the unlikely voice of reason” and at one hour in, this was proven in this episode. “What exactly do you do that you never have time for yourself,” is exactly what we all were thinking. Scott Disick, my hero.
During the previews for the whole season, it is revealed (which we all already knew) that Kourtney is pregnant. Can’t wait! Baby books with names starting with K would most likely be appreciated.
So, Kardashifans – what do you think? Thanks for reading, and please sound off on the comments below. I cannot do this alone!!
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