PayPal Tips TTTV Image Map

Couples Therapy Recap: 99 Problems and a b-tch IS one of them | TrashTalkTV - Part 5

Couples Therapy Recap: 99 Problems and a b-tch IS one of them

rethinkPortrait of a man who is – or should be – rethinking his life choices.

Liz then goes on something about seeing Jon in a restaurant interacting and thinking “who the f are you”.  He’s a public figure, for better or worse, sweetheart.  You knew that when you met him.

Jenn changes the subject, and asks where Jon sees this heading.  He wants to get married “really bad”, while Liz says she doesn’t.  She says Jon’s so needy, she feels she could be anyone, he just wants anyone.

Jon shares this is a make it or break it time for them.  Buddy – break it off.  Now.

Commercial.  Nighttime now, and Whitney and Sada decide to check out Back Door’s alleged amateur sex tape.  They conclude it clearly was professionally produced, and Farrah’s lying to create a victim narrative.  Whitney says she guesses you can “be godly and still wanna suck d-ck”.  Yes, Whitney.  That’s the entire Republican Party.

craigCase in point.

So that’s it for this week.  Next week, Sada confronts Farrah, Whitney and Sada have a fight, and Liz walks in on Jon getting friendly with his “plus 8″.  Join me back here for that, won’t you, and don’t forget to check out my Sister Wives recaps, too!  See you then!

Want more TrashTalk? Join us on Facebook, Twitter, and our YouTube page! To follow my personal tweets, click here.

Pages: ← Previous |

trashtalktv header image shop

18 comments on “Couples Therapy Recap: 99 Problems and a b-tch IS one of them

  1. Holyterror says:

    I wish Jenn had let Taylor be brought to her knees by the pea green towels.

    Better yet, I wish that after that b.s. turn she did from condemnation to sympathy (and failure to mention the booze), Jenn had then ordered all the linens and plates in the house replaced with pea green ones. And suggested a game of “Hangman.” then LAUGHED and LAUGHED.

  2. Holyterror says:

    All I could think of during Taylor’s pea green towel rant was, “No. Wire. Hangers! EVER!”

    Look out, Kennedy.

  3. Lizbot says:

    Wow, VH1 seems really desperate to make this cast work. Farrah’s in a couples therapy when she’s not even part of a couple. Ghost (does he really go by that name? I haven’t watched the show) obviously does not want to be in a relationship with Kelsey, so why are they even there? A credible therapist would be counselling them to break up already and supporting Kelsey in getting some individual therapy for herself to figure out why she would take sh*t from a washed up ungrateful senior citizen like that. Taylor just sounds annoying, and Dr. Jenn suggesting that her de-balled partner needs to let her have a voice suggests to me that Dr. Jenn may have a substance abuse problem herself. I doubt anyone wants to hear more of Taylor’s voice, and it seems like there are people who would pay to hear it less. I’m enjoying your recaps, though, even though this seems like a real dud of a cast this year. At least the Poo Stain from last season and TeenSlutBride from the season before had some raison d’etre for being on the show.

  4. andyourlittledogtoo says:

    “Squish squish, sweetie-darling! Squish squish!” Ah, AbFab, how I miss you.

    Someone needs to take Dr Jenn’s license away. She is so full of shit. Yes, of course Taylor’s real problem is not being heard. And Farrah’s problem is her mom wasn’t there for her (although since my theory of Farrah is incest, it is quite possible that Debra wasn’t there for her from day one. Very possible. Also, Debra is batshit and Michael is a doormat. Not exactly parent material.) Trying to counsel Ghost and Kelsey as a ‘couple’ is ridiculous at this point. And Jon needs to cut bait immediately because Liz is terrible.

    Also, Aidan is also my favorite. How can you resist that little guy in the glasses? Too cute for words. I think Jon has so poisoned his dating pool with his early choices that nice women won’t consider him any more. Also, that passive victim persona does get annoying as hell in a relationship. There’s hardly anything to push up against and then you get blamed for being a bitch because you can’t deal with it any longer. Kate and Liz are clearly controlling assholes but believe me, a man like Jon can push you to the brink of violence with his passive aggressive hang dog attitude. Just sayin’.

    Sada and Whitney have huge problems in their relationship so it’s weird that they are the most stable normal people on the show right now. Their reactions to the others are priceless. They are like the Greek chorus, standing in for the viewer. I like ‘em.

    • I totally agree with your thoughts on Jon. Kate was controlling, but I think she was spot on when she kept saying it was like having another child, not another parent. His passive-aggressive crap drove me CRAZY. I may not have *liked* her, but I was Team Kate. I haven’t watched this (just love the recaps), but I have a feeling I would be Team Liz.

    • Merry says:

      I honestly think that with a lot of (real) therapy, Jon might evolve into a decent human being. When I say “a lot” I mean “a decade’s worth,” when I say “might” I mean just that, and when I say “decent” I mean “adequately functioning as an adult.”

      I did not watch the Jon & Kate show (tried for 5 minutes and felt physically ill) but they once lived in my family’s hometown and I have to say that Kate was, from the very start, an entitled, rude, and money-hungry bitch. Jon is passive-aggressive and childish, but he married a mean and controlling woman very young and kind of gave up. There may yet be something salvageable in him. (I may be deluding myself because I’d like that for his kids.)

      All that said, both of these idiots need to get the hell off TV and stop embarrassing their children. Poor things have been used enough.

  5. Aunt Dorsey says:

    Not only was Shana-Shanna-Taylor-Ford-Armstrong’s “wallet” holding his jacket — Miss Khyber Pass 1932 was herself wearing a farking long-sleeved sweater over a long-sleeved shirt. But it’s SOooooooooo hot!

    Yep, that “sex tape” was leaked — right out of Farrah’s bunghole. I guess there is some distinction in her tiny mind between a sex tape being done by amateurs and a porno being done by pros. I can reassure her, hers is both amateur hour (since she can’t act her way out of a paper bag) and professionally done. She’s got both categories nailed.

  6. PsychoSuzy says:

    Okay, great. Thanks Taylor! You can now attribute another suicide to your “career.” My upstairs bathroom has yellow and green flowery wallpaper, and I have (god, this is so humiliating), GREEN TOWELS hanging in there! Obviously, my taste is so horrendous that I don’t deserve to live another minute. Taylor’s “career” has struck again. Good-bye all, it’s been real.

  7. Holyterror says:

    You would think that someone who just got out of two years of lawsuits would think (at least) twice before threatening to sue someone, but not our Shana. And what, exactly, would she sue FOR?

    Have a nice life, John. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

  8. SecretSquirrel says:

    Convenient for Taylor that she had lint in her pockets, a fake Birkin, and a cocktail ring when her creditors came looking to recoup the mazillions of dollars she and her husband stole from investors and companies. I hope they are watching now that she has more money than Kuwait. What a timely reversal of fortune for her. I doubt they were the only creditors in line, but the others probably saw no point in trying to get blood from a Rubber Stone. Still, if I were Taylor’s Lawyer/Fiancé/Social Security Plan, I’d probably tell her to shut it. But he’s probably applying foundation to his most recent black eye after tripping and falling into Taylor’s closed fist, or maybe his jaw is “out of socket”……

    • Aunt Dorsey says:

      If she was a better grifter, she could get one of those bazzilionaire Nigerian Princes that Kenya on Real Fishwives of Hotlanta got. What’s her problem, she has email?

  9. KLOEWENT says:

    The lesbian chicks are from a show called the real L-Word. They are both cheating skanks, especially Whitney, she is like a man whore. She cheated with Sada on one girl, then cheated on sada with another, I haven’t watched it in a while, so maybe they have commited to one another. HAHAHAHAHAH

  10. labowner says:

    What happened to little miss “I’ll go Oklahoma on your ass” Taylor?

    I don’t think she is married to John is she because he would then assume her debts and I don’t think he wants that because I am sure his ex-wife is trying to clean him out.

  11. Merry says:

    Farrah’s “holier than thou” attitude is stupid and the way she talks down about porn stars really bothers me. Yes, it’s kind of a sleazy industry, but frankly I’d put most professional adult actresses a whole lot of steps above this bitch. At least they’re honest about what they do! I’d also imagine they’re kinder to and less judgmental of other people.

    (And could someone PLEASE explain to me why selling a supposedly leaked amateur sex tape is less sleazy than making and selling a professional porno? If anything, it seems trashier since you’re cashing in on what was meant to be a private, intimate experience.)

  12. considerthis says:

    Ghost is a dirty dick douche whose 15 minutes of fame was up 10 years ago BUUUUTTTTT Kelsey is about as “IN LOVE” with him as he is with her.

    She is in love with his bank account and whatever “fame” she still thinks he possesses. She is trying everything in her power “in the name of love” to make sure the Gravy Train keeps on rollin.
    Stop the pity party – and stand on your own two feet! Club Eroctica is hiring for the 3 AM shift.

  13. Gypsy Gypsy says:

    Man, I love all the hate comments! This show is a fantastic display of the dregs of reality, I am really in awe of it all.

Trouble logging in? Clear cache, quit browser and re-open!