Minicap: The Bachelor

Hello, Trashies! We’re back for another season of The Bachelor. That’s right, it’s another season of desperate women fighting for the contractual obligation love of a man who was just dumped on national TV a few months ago. So, I’ve poured a glass of wine, set my #BachelorHair, and I’m ready for this train wreck to get started! Let’s begin by saying hi to this season’s Bachelor:

juan-pablo-1-300Hola, deep V!

Apparently, he’s received the biggest viewer response of any contestant ever. I feel like they say that every season. The introductions tonight are surprisingly boring. If the most interesting introduction is a woman playing the piano, then I think we’re in for a snooze of a season. Where are the batshit crazies straight out of the limo? I hope this doesn’t set the tone for the entire season.

There’s not really a lot to say about this first episode because no one really stood out. Check back soon for the full recap. See you then!