amazon stuff

The Taste Recap: Don't You Put It In Your Mouth | TrashTalkTV

tip jar tttv thank you

The Taste Recap: Don’t You Put It In Your Mouth

Hey there TrashTalkers! It’s a new year and with that comes a new season of The Taste! I myself am new to the show, so my apologies in advance if I miss what I am sure are critical references to prior seasons and moments.

The second season begins with an introduction of the esteemed mentors. Up first is Anthony Bourdain who makes shit delicious. We also have Nigella Lawson who is hungry for patterned umbrellas to become a thing, Ludo Lefebvre who is one of the best chefs of LA but nowhere else, and new mentor Marcus Samuelsson who has won six beard awards with nary a facial hair.

The Taste - Season 2 Episode 1 - Anthony ShuddersI can’t even look at these other so-called professionals

The Taste - Season 2 Episode 1 - Nigella LawsonAre we sure my cleavage is translating on screen?

The Taste - Season 2 Episode 1 - LudoZees silly English peasants can not cook like zee French

The Taste - Season 2 Episode 1 - I made it on TVYES! I’M ON TV!

Voice over Vinny tells us newbies how The Taste works and apparently the premise is identical to The Voice but without the badass chair spin. A multitude of “professional” chefs and regular joes like us will have just one taste to hook a spot on a mentor’s coveted cooking squad of four, who will then go head to head for the chance to win $100,000 and the overwhelming honour of winning the Pepsi challenge.

It’s audition time! We see a flurry of grating, straining, and gyrating as the chef hopefuls prepare their four identical bites in just one hour, with the hope that a blind mouthful will send one of the mentors into tastebud heaven and place them on their team. The trick is that the mentors have no idea who made what, and even what is in the food, which seems like my worst nightmare. I have had enough weird unknown things in my mouth, who wants to take a big steaming bite of mystery meat that could actually be spam with caviar.

It’s time to meet the contestants! Up first we have a 32 year old with 16 years experience, which lets be real, you shouldn’t count your job at MickeyD’s when you were 16 as chef experience, but to each their own. We are treated to a montage of his cooking skills as his friends look on in pain, questioning why they agreed to be filmed for this. Dude starts the drug sob back story as he half-asses his way through a stair master workout in front of 70’s mirrored closet doors so he can check out his own gluts as he steps in time to Pat Benatar.

The Taste - Season 2 Episode 1 - Work BitchWork Bitch

As he walks up to the judging table to present his quail eggs and bacon (bacon is just so hot right now) I am disappointed with the set for The Taste. When you take away the huge red chairs of The Voice, and have the mentors just chilling in some folding chairs, the whole ambience feels very home ec competition. The raised circle stage is nice enough I guess. Maybe by season 3 the budget will allow for big X’s or a large trap door to drop out failing contestants. Anything to spice it up. (See what I did there? First of many my friends. I have quite the talent.)

Anthony calls the dish hipster, which makes Ludo like it that much more, and the judges lock in their votes under the table with the sneaky tap of a “Yes” or “No” button. The chef brings out a full serving of his dish and it looks like animal vomit. Anthony is out, Ludo takes it a touch too serious and is out also, Nigella is interested, mainly because she wants to bone the gauged earring chef. But wait, Ludo is also interested in learning more about how to make food hipster without forcing it into skinny jeans.

Nigella and Ludo begin their spiel to try and get McD’s on their team, and Ludo takes it to a sexist level right off the bat, which somehow convinces McD’s to go with the scary dragon and join in the sexist fun.

The Taste - Season 2 Episode 1 - SexismOMG we are going to have so much sexist fun

Back from the commercial break we learn that Anthony got his big break washing dishes at 17, until at 44 he wrote an obnoxious book and now he lives the American dream, getting paid to stuff his fat face. The next mentor, Nigella, has not been a professional chef, but she was a journalist which is pretty much the same thing. Loving flavour is all you need to meet the requirements to judge food on a television show apparently.

Pages: | Next →

Screen Shot 2014-08-18 at 3.31.14 PM-1

24 comments on “The Taste Recap: Don’t You Put It In Your Mouth

  1. Chaosbutterfly says:

    That’s crazy. I would claim Celine at every and any opportunity.
    I understand why you would discreetly disown everyone else tho.

  2. Mulligan Mulligan says:

    We also don’t always get credit for the good ones … Like Ryan Gosling! We may or may not have gone to the same high school. I know, I know, I’m totes famous by association.

  3. Mulligan Mulligan says:

    @ChickenLips – No hate for Cleveland here (Cleveland rocks as they say), especially since it birthed THE greatest chef of all time (Thanks a lot Aunt Dorsey, now I’ll have to pronounce it that way too!)

  4. Jimbob Jones says:

    I’m just watching this episode now…

    One thing I noticed that made me sad — they got rid of the golden forceps trophy.

Have your say!