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The Taste Recap: Don't You Put It In Your Mouth | TrashTalkTV

The Taste Recap: Don’t You Put It In Your Mouth

Hey there TrashTalkers! It’s a new year and with that comes a new season of The Taste! I myself am new to the show, so my apologies in advance if I miss what I am sure are critical references to prior seasons and moments.

The second season begins with an introduction of the esteemed mentors. Up first is Anthony Bourdain who makes shit delicious. We also have Nigella Lawson who is hungry for patterned umbrellas to become a thing, Ludo Lefebvre who is one of the best chefs of LA but nowhere else, and new mentor Marcus Samuelsson who has won six beard awards with nary a facial hair.

The Taste - Season 2 Episode 1 - Anthony ShuddersI can’t even look at these other so-called professionals

The Taste - Season 2 Episode 1 - Nigella LawsonAre we sure my cleavage is translating on screen?

The Taste - Season 2 Episode 1 - LudoZees silly English peasants can not cook like zee French

The Taste - Season 2 Episode 1 - I made it on TVYES! I’M ON TV!

Voice over Vinny tells us newbies how The Taste works and apparently the premise is identical to The Voice but without the badass chair spin. A multitude of “professional” chefs and regular joes like us will have just one taste to hook a spot on a mentor’s coveted cooking squad of four, who will then go head to head for the chance to win $100,000 and the overwhelming honour of winning the Pepsi challenge.

It’s audition time! We see a flurry of grating, straining, and gyrating as the chef hopefuls prepare their four identical bites in just one hour, with the hope that a blind mouthful will send one of the mentors into tastebud heaven and place them on their team. The trick is that the mentors have no idea who made what, and even what is in the food, which seems like my worst nightmare. I have had enough weird unknown things in my mouth, who wants to take a big steaming bite of mystery meat that could actually be spam with caviar.

It’s time to meet the contestants! Up first we have a 32 year old with 16 years experience, which lets be real, you shouldn’t count your job at MickeyD’s when you were 16 as chef experience, but to each their own. We are treated to a montage of his cooking skills as his friends look on in pain, questioning why they agreed to be filmed for this. Dude starts the drug sob back story as he half-asses his way through a stair master workout in front of 70’s mirrored closet doors so he can check out his own gluts as he steps in time to Pat Benatar.

The Taste - Season 2 Episode 1 - Work BitchWork Bitch

As he walks up to the judging table to present his quail eggs and bacon (bacon is just so hot right now) I am disappointed with the set for The Taste. When you take away the huge red chairs of The Voice, and have the mentors just chilling in some folding chairs, the whole ambience feels very home ec competition. The raised circle stage is nice enough I guess. Maybe by season 3 the budget will allow for big X’s or a large trap door to drop out failing contestants. Anything to spice it up. (See what I did there? First of many my friends. I have quite the talent.)

Anthony calls the dish hipster, which makes Ludo like it that much more, and the judges lock in their votes under the table with the sneaky tap of a “Yes” or “No” button. The chef brings out a full serving of his dish and it looks like animal vomit. Anthony is out, Ludo takes it a touch too serious and is out also, Nigella is interested, mainly because she wants to bone the gauged earring chef. But wait, Ludo is also interested in learning more about how to make food hipster without forcing it into skinny jeans.

Nigella and Ludo begin their spiel to try and get McD’s on their team, and Ludo takes it to a sexist level right off the bat, which somehow convinces McD’s to go with the scary dragon and join in the sexist fun.

The Taste - Season 2 Episode 1 - SexismOMG we are going to have so much sexist fun

Back from the commercial break we learn that Anthony got his big break washing dishes at 17, until at 44 he wrote an obnoxious book and now he lives the American dream, getting paid to stuff his fat face. The next mentor, Nigella, has not been a professional chef, but she was a journalist which is pretty much the same thing. Loving flavour is all you need to meet the requirements to judge food on a television show apparently.

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24 comments on “The Taste Recap: Don’t You Put It In Your Mouth

  1. Pegalicious says:

    Thanks for recapping this, Mulligan. (Do I detect a Canadian or British “flavour” in your writing?)

    I missed this last year, but got sucked in this season. (I needed something to watch while I was DVRing “Community,” which I like to savor… unlike some of those unappetizing-looking “tastes.”)

    I rather like the idea that they don’t see the cooks until after they’ve tasted and voted. But I’m curious to see how the competition goes. The “this season” preview alluded to a mentor being able to vote out their own team member, which I don’t understand. Don’t they know what their people are cooking? Inquiring minds and all that. But I’m betting Marina gives Ludo a run for his money!

    BTW, Marcus Samuelsson is a regular judge on “Chopped.” (I hate cooking, but love cooking shows. Go figure.)

    • Mulligan Mulligan says:

      @Pegalicious – Very impressive! I am very intrigued as to how you came to that conclusion as I thought I had my “eh”s well hidden. Do tell, what gave me away :)

      I agree, I don’t understand how the mentor will teach them a dish or what not and then be all shocked they send their own contestant home. But here’s hoping it makes for some entertaining TV!!

      • Pegalicious says:

        I could pretend it’s because I have Canadian friends (I’m in upstate New York, and often visit folks who live just south of the Canadian border), but it was your spelling of “flavour”!

        • Jimbob Jones says:

          NOBODY has Canadian friends. Even Canadians spend most of their time trying to pretend they don’t know each other. ;-)

          • Mulligan Mulligan says:

            @Pegalicious – silly me! Well the cat is out of the bag I guess :)

            @Jimbo Jones – We have to, it freaks you guys out too much that we legit always know someone in common. Timmy from Toronto is a popular guy.

          • Lizbot says:

            Oh JimBob. And I used to like you!

          • Lizbot says:

            And for the record, the only Canadians we regular Canadians try to avoid acknowledging are Justin Bieber, Celine Dion, Chad Krueger, and Avril Lavigne. We like to pretend that they’re really Americans since they spend so much time on your side of the border and we know how much you all really really love them!

          • Chaosbutterfly says:

            That’s crazy. I would claim Celine at every and any opportunity.
            I understand why you would discreetly disown everyone else tho.

          • Mulligan Mulligan says:

            We also don’t always get credit for the good ones … Like Ryan Gosling! We may or may not have gone to the same high school. I know, I know, I’m totes famous by association.

    • zerocool says:

      I watched last season and to answer your question: all tastes are still blind. So a judge can easily “nominate” their own cook. If I remember correctly they pull the worst two dishes, along with the best two. The contestant that cooked the dish that got the most likes is the winner of the round. The two contestants that cooked the worst dishes (that got the most dislikes) is up for elimination. Then the judges decide which one goes. Sometimes it can be from the same team; Nigella was the first judge out of contention because her team last year didn’t hold up to all the professional cooks on the show.

      Although I think Samuelsson is a tv hog he has the chops to be a good judge here. I definitely like him better than the judge they dumped.

      • Pegalicious says:

        Thanks, zerocool; that clears it up for me.

        As to Samuelsson, I enjoy him as a judge on “Chopped,” so I look forward to him in this series.

    • Jimbob Jones says:

      The season openers of Community were pretty awesome. I loved Troy’s “Son of a bitch!!! After all Scrubs did for him!!!” outrage after hearing how Zach Braff was only in 6 episode’s of the last season of Scrubs.

  2. vallegirl says:

    Samuelsson was also the dubious winner of TC Masters when Jay Rayner bragged about sandbagging Rick Moonen in the finale … in his Bravo-sponsored blog. Minor dramz ensued. Blog was quickly erased and Rayner and his sentient mole were never heard from, on Top Chef, again.

    • Mulligan Mulligan says:

      @vallegirl – I have no idea who any of those people are or what any of that means but I love the dramz caused by Bravo blogs. Why they ever thought those were a good idea is beyond me! (especially with the housewives; I’m impressed when they can spell orange)

  3. zerocool says:

    I forgot to mention the look on Ludo’s face when he found out he picked a vegan was hilarious. The way he tried to spin it had me laughing.

    • Mulligan Mulligan says:

      @zerocool – Those are the times when he prob hopes another mentor picks them too and he can “lose” out to them in the sales pitch. Sadly for him, nobody else wanted a nasty ass cupcake.

  4. Aunt Dorsey says:

    I’m still dancing with joy that they got rid of Top Chef alum and major bunghole Malarkey. Marcus Samuelsson is a major improvement on Marlarkey’s “….oooohhhhh, look at me Ludo, look at ME Ludo, I know you want me….” shenanigans and he isn’t the most annoying judge on Chopped, so that’s a plus. Although I also get tired of listening to Marcus bloviate on about how fabulous he is.

    I swear that Ludo must be a kissing cousin of Bruno on Dancing With the Stars. Half the time, I don’t know what the hell he’s on about either.

    • Mulligan Mulligan says:

      @Aunt Dorsey – He totally is Bruno!!!!! Good comparison :)

    • Chicken Lips Chicken Lips says:

      That’s who it was – I couldn’t remember the name of Douche Bag #2 from last season (Ludo being Sac Douche #1). Friggin’ Malarkey was the chief asshat of the asshat brigade and really brought out Ludo’s asshattiness, too.

      This was much more enjoyable to watch since we didn’t have to listen to Malarkey and Ludo screeching at each other the whole time. I’m not saying Ludo isn’t a Sac Douche, but he’s cooled his jets a little since he isn’t being antagonized every 2.5 minutes.

  5. Chicken Lips Chicken Lips says:

    Hey – Team Cleveland all the way! We’ve got some kickass food there, like the Polish Boy and Fish Fries as far as the eye can see! Chef Boyardee is from Cleveland! If that doesn’t make your toes tingle I don’t know what will!

    I love watching this show – Anthony Bourdain makes me laugh out loud. The man has that unique combination of giving a shit while totally not giving a shit – “Your food sucked! Welcome aboard, man! Come hang out!”

    • Aunt Dorsey says:

      Or as my relatives from Massachusetts say, Chef Boy-YAAAAAAAAAA-dee. Of course, I now insist on pronouncing it that way too, much to the discomfort of my chirrun.

      • Mulligan Mulligan says:

        @ChickenLips – No hate for Cleveland here (Cleveland rocks as they say), especially since it birthed THE greatest chef of all time (Thanks a lot Aunt Dorsey, now I’ll have to pronounce it that way too!)

  6. Jimbob Jones says:

    I’m just watching this episode now…

    One thing I noticed that made me sad — they got rid of the golden forceps trophy.

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