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Project Runway All Stars - Ready to Wear Sucks | TrashTalkTV

Project Runway All Stars – Ready to Wear Sucks

After a few weeks off to cruise through South America I have returned, slightly tanner and happy to get back to slamming every horrible outfit Alyssa wears (even though I may have worn a Hawaiian shirt every day of my vacation, because that’s just how I roll).

aIf this is the view no one really looks at what you’re wearing

Before we dive in I have to thank PopePhilly for covering for me during a crazy busy time of year and delivering on the snark and awesome. It was nice to come home and see you were all well taken care of.  Now, on to the recap!

Previously on project runway.. Alyssa wore this

1. what the hellDo I see nipple?

Nina showed up and made the designers create outfits for bloggers. For some reason almost everyone looked horrible and Viktor went home. Aw, I’ll miss you and your giant theatrical fan my love.

We start the show with Alyssa on the runway wearing a renaissance fair undergarment with a leather corset and a leather bow tie. Of course she is.

2. leather bow tieI put on daddy’s tuxedo shirt cumber bun and tie!

The 4 remaining contestants look less than thrilled to be there, Korto especially looks all around dead on the inside, do the editors hate her or does she just suffer from bitchy resting face?

3. show is still going onBeing on TV is the worst.

Christopher rambles about how magic it is to be in the top 4. He won 1 competition, Elena won 1, Korto won 2 and Seth Aaron has won none. Burn.  Sidenote Alyssa is wearing a kickass pair of lime green shoes that tragically do nothing to make this outfit better. Sorry, I keep getting sucked in, it’s like a magic eye picture, the more I look at it the more confused I find myself…

4. shoesNope, not any better from this angle

This week’s challenge is ready to wear. Elena explains it as “something that is…wearable… to anyone” thanks for clearing that up.  This week’s guest is Michelle Smith, of the label Milly (she didn’t bother to show up, we hear about all this from Alyssa, not cool Michelle, even Nina made time to show up to hand out a challenge, and those crazy kids from Bonnie and Clyde managed to take 2 minutes to film a cameo, just sayin’). The designers get to use Michelle Smiths fabrics to make a dress that will cost under $400 to produce. The winning garment will be sold with profits going to the charity “save the garment center” .  If I cared I would google that, but I don’t so let’s move along.

The designers go on a field trip to look at fabrics –  Michelle Smith is at her studio and greets all the designers, ok fine bonus points for that. Shouldn’t Zana be there? Tim Gunn totally would have been there. GET IT TOGETHER ZANA!

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16 comments on “Project Runway All Stars – Ready to Wear Sucks

  1. No, I'm just glad to see you says:

    I have always had a soft spot for Christopher so I’m sad to see him go. I didn’t care for his last two looks, but overall I think his dresses are very beautiful and sexy. Blame it on weeks of candy canes and cookie binging but my sugar addled brain has actually mellowed toward Elena. Her first season, her temperamental fits extended to others too. This season when she loses her mind, it is pretty much directed at herself and she seems to try and manically laugh it off. In Elena terms, that actually is lightening up. Not sure I care who wins now but Alyssa’s stylist will have unpacked the last of her urban troll outfits and that’s worth celebrating.

  2. cattyfan says:

    Korto makes crap we’ve seen a thousand times before…and chosen to leave hanging on the clearance rack.

    Seth Aaron is his own biggest fan. Or he thinks if he is enthusiastic enough about how wonderful he is, everyone else will believe it.

    I am team Elena at this point. I really wanted her in the final with Christopher and Victor.

    • Aunt Dorsey says:

      I really liked Elena’s dress and I like most of her designs, although I prefer her without the histrionics. If Korto loses a second time, I hope they have the medics on standby, since she took losing the first time so well.

  3. TallGirl says:

    Welcome back, Danator!
    As a vocal critic of Alyssa’s style choices, I have to say that her legs looked amazing in the first outfit (those lime green shoes did rock!), and, sorry Danator, I think that a full skirt on the bottom is more flattering to her chunkier, rounder figure. White, however, was not a good choice for color. I don’t know what was going on with the top and that half bowtie thang. The top was too crisp and tight and neat for the bottom half. Her second outfit was cute except that she needed sleeves, preferably puffed ones to balance out that large volume skirt on the bottom. Another rationale for sleeves is that her arms are chunky, not that toned looking. So, she has 3 choices: 1) wear sleeves, 2) tone up more (we have a 50-something First Lady setting a standard for what bare arms should look like in terms of tone) or 3) have her makeup artist paint on some toned contours as those lights are bright up there. What is with all those wispy hairs along her forehead line? If she has all that going on, she should either wear her hair down on her forehead or laser those suckers off. You know that if they were around her ears, they’d be lasered off to avoid her looking as though she has sideburns. What should we call them – “foreburns?”
    I’d love to see the producers mix it up a bit in the future and have a MALE fashion-affiliated (B-list, if we’re talking the equivalent of Alyssa) celebrity be the host. Why does it have to be a female? Nick Cannon could take on the gig if he’s no too busy with AGT. He’s a whole lot easier to listen to than Alyssa’s weird speech patterns.
    Seth Aaron’s dress looked like something from PeeWee’s funhouse. It’s definitely a statement dress and something you could probably only wear once. It was cute in its own way and probably the most flawless. Agree with the judges about the zipper on Elena’s dress. Korto’s looked like a house smock from the front. I agree with “No I’m just glad to see you” about Christopher.
    Looking forward to next week’s finale!!

    • Justso says:

      Agree to Nick Cannon! Disagree about Michelle O and her male body and arms – Alyssa is pretty but has horrible fashion sense – but so does Michelle. Christopher just did not have Millie’s style so he burned out. Korto has the worst personality and is a real downer – she only designs one style – boring. Looking forward to the finale but Elena will win and she deserves it,

      • Nelliebelle1197 says:

        If you think Michelle Obama has horrible fashion sense, then you really don’t need to be judging fashion.

  4. Aunt Dorsey says:

    Poor Alyssa, Joan Crawford come-fuck-me shoes are not her friend. When you are vertically challenged and have stubby little legs, like I do, the straps cut you off right at the trotters. Avoid strappy shoes, girl!

    But I guess Alyssa reamed Jay Mohr a new one for “fat shaming” her, so good for her, because she isn’t fat.

  5. stinkyhousewives says:

    I think Korto will have the win.

    • PopePhilly PopePhilly says:

      I’m thinking the same thing. She’s come in second twice now (her regular season and the “All-Star Challenge” thing they did a few years ago). I’m starting to think this is her apology season.

  6. Danator Danator says:

    I mean, I have a body shape similar to Alyssa – short and soft, and I genuinely don’t think her body shape is why she looks terrible – her skirts are weird lengths, her tops fit her boobs weird, she shows off her arms when they aren’t her best feature and all of her shoes make her look like a munchkin. I feel like I could take her to the mall and for $100 have her in a wardrobe that makes her look 60% better, that’s why I get so mad. she doesn’t HAVE to look terrible, it’s like she’s actively chosing to do so, maybe she lost a bet?

    • TallGirl says:

      Please, please, please, Danator! Take her to the mall – pronto!!! I think that “What Not to Wear” taught us all that, no matter what the body shape, a person can look good in clothes if he/she wears the right thing. We all have good features and things we want to hide or downplay. I think that “vendetta” is what her stylist has.

    • Nelliebelle1197 says:

      I don’t think it is her- I think it is whoever the show stylist is. He must hate poor Alyssa.

  7. ziggychick says:

    I don’t think Alyssa is fat but her stylist isn’t her friend, that’s for sure. She keeps wearing ankle booties and strappy heels that make her legs look stubbier and her hair and makeup just looks harsh. She looked so pretty on Mistresses where they obviously had the money for stylists.

    It would have been interesting to have Victor, Christopher and Elena in the finale. However, we all know that winning the competition isn’t just about talent. At the end of the day, they have to design to the challenge and both Victor and Christopher f’d it up big time and got booted. I call it close between Seth Aaron and Elena. Both have strong POVs. Korto does too, except it’s a boring POV that no one is excited about. If she won this challenge, there is no way I would pay $400 for that dress. I would have expected it to be at F21 for $25, tops.

    BTW – I dropped a note to Elena on her FB and she responded right away! Super nice….and I don’t mind her craziness. She let’s it out and gets the stress out….it’s better than holding it in and choking. She seems like her true self on TV where I feel that Christopher and Victor ham it up for the cameras…famewhores.

  8. PopePhilly PopePhilly says:

    I didn’t understand Elena’s freak out over the sleeve. The sleeve ripped, so she decided to make an entirely new dress out of the fabric that she had left over. Why didn’t she just immediately take some of that fabric and, I don’t know, MAKE A NEW SLEEVE!!

  9. Merry says:

    Clearly Alyssa ran over her stylist’s dog or something equally horrible, but she’s just as much to blame.

    What really kills me about celebrity fashion disasters is that someone else may be styling them, but they willingly step out looking awful. Don’t they have mirrors? (Or, like vampires, do they have no reflections?) A bad outfit is one thing, I’m sure many celebrities may have no fashion sense of their own, but I’d hope even the dumbest of actresses might realize she should brush her hair before appearing on TV.

    Alyssa! Brush! Conditioner!! Little black dress!!! For the love of Heidi, it’s not rocket science!

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