Hey, y’all! First of all, let me apologize for the recap delay – my husband had a freak accident last week. He missed a step, landed on his knees and ruptured both of his quad tendons. He had surgery last week and will be unable to walk for 4 to 6 months! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year all rolled into one! Oy vey. My advice to y’all – DON’T FALL ON YOUR KNEES!
Okay – back to our girl Court. First of all, I’d like to point out that I don’t hate Courtney – I just think she does silly things. Like dress like a 20 year old when you clearly look about 36. Or attempt to have a serious conversation with a “man” (and I use the term lightly) at a party with your besties. Cort (new spelling) was also on Millionaire Matchmaker with that evil bitch Patti Stanger. Patti is an embarrassment to women. Patti referred to Cort as her good friend (is that a TV term?) and called her a “millionairess in training”. Patti kissed her ass because she’s a celeb whore, and fixed her up with the other millionaire on the show. Someone clearly got to Cort because she cut her hair and was dressing a little more age-appropriate. Unfortunately, the hairstyle was a hot mess and sadly, she looked even older than usual. Oh – and she didn’t go on a second date. Success for Patti again! Not.
Separated at Birth?
This time, Cort and BFF Tori are headed to NY Fashion Week. Cort, of course, is concerned with her outfits. She explains to us that this is the first time she is going to FW as a “full-time blogger”, and this could be a jumping off point to expand her blog beyond Dallas. Okay, I don’t quite get it. The only way I can see her expanding is by getting her face on TV as much as possible, but who really cares about a new blogger? Does she think all the designers are going to fawn over a blogger? I don’t know. Also, Cort tells us her finances are “tight”. According to Millionaire Matchmaker and her Twitter account, she’s “doing just fine”. Hmmm. Maybe I should start a fashion blog. Anyone want to join me? Tori, however, has a different agenda. She wants a “fun girl’s trip”. She wants to meet boys. I like Tori. She knows what’s important! But she’s a tad delusional if she thinks hetero males flock to designer fashion shows. Cort’s worried about “turning it OUT” at Fashion Week. I can’t WAIT to see the mangled concoction of clothing she puts together.
We arrive in New York, (yay East Coast!) and Cort is absolutely giddy. They are in the hotel room, marveling at all the yellow taxis outside – very cute. I like New York – just not the Mets, Yankees and Giants. Cort is going to a Carmen Marc “Volvo” show (that’s how she pronounced it), and Tori wants to know is there will be naked male models there. Now, Tori – Cort’s blog is for females, so why would you be going to a male designer’s fashion show? And CMV designs clothes for “normal” women (read: women who are larger than a size four). I’m sure Bravo could have gotten her more famous designers. Or maybe not. The ladies unpack their clothes, and I’m impressed that Cort only brought one suitcase.
There’s a zoo in Dallas that’s missing their leopards…
Tor tells Cort to not be intimidated, because she is amazing. Aw. Tor’s a good friend. Cort’s then reveals her kick-ass outfit for the show. Sitting in the front row, you’ve got to make an impression. White dress, black lace, pop of color in the shoes.. yada, yada. Tori’s jeans and top don’t quite cut it, so she gets a Cort makeover.
Tori – yes; Cort – Um, no.
They arrive at the venue, which appears to be a large, nondescript white room in an office building. I wouldn’t be surprised if CMV headquarters isn’t down the hall. This ain’t no tent in Lincoln Center! Anyhoo, they grab some booze, take some selfies, and plop down in the front row. Cort is very excited, and wants to meet CMV. She says it would be more exciting than meeting her future husband. Funny! The show starts…
The clothes are gorgeous. I want them all. Cort tells us that these colors and trends will hit Dallas in about 6 months, and she will have a heads-up on future fashions to show on the blog. Her face when the show started was really..
After the show, the duo ask to meet Carmen Marc Valvo. Cort’s acting all humble and cutesy – I thought she should have been a little more, I don’t know – direct. Tori agrees, telling her she should step in and make her presence known. So she steps in. CMV is very gracious to Cort, but then Cort does what Cort does best. Talk. In fact, she doesn’t shut up. She’s going a mile a minute. It’s the Courtney vortex. He can’t get away! I’m sure that it wasn’t more than a five minute conversation, but the editors made it go on forever. Thanks, Bravo!!
Actually, CMV appeared to be very gracious. Cringe moment: the girls are basking in an after-show glow when a tiny Italian man (I think he was a man) comes up to Cort and drinks out of one of their wine glasses. Yuck. He doesn’t introduce himself, but he says he recognizes her. He’s a designer based in Miami and wants to make her over. Then comes the smack-down: He tells her she has an “amazing” face and body, but the outfit? “You look like my grandmother in 1980.”